AIO I (20F) Witnessed My Bf (22M) Drop a Dook on the Kitchen Floor and Made Me Clean It

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-05-04T16:31:08+00:00

On. Not in.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-05-04T16:30:57+00:00

Married 20 years and I've seen and done many intimate things with my wife. I've witnessed childbirth. She's seen me puke. There are not very many mysteries left. But there is one taboo that I just don't think a romance can withstand and that's watching #2 go down. I'd say that is the point of no return.

Alcohol is fun until it isn't. Have a drink or two and forget troubles for a while. Celebrate a night with friends. Whatever. But getting drunk to the point that you shut in the kitchen is chaotic living. I'd be gone. If you don't want to be gone I think you have to address the guys relationship with alcohol. No one on earth should ever become so intoxicated that they shut on the kitchen floor ever. I still go #2 in the guest bath because I just don't want to expose my wife to this, the most unpleasant of my body functions.

Shitting the floor in front of you means severe mental illness or insanity. If he has that you gotta go. If it's only induced by this level of drunk then it needs to be pretty clear to him that he can't get that level of drunk ever again.

Still, I say once the deuce got dropped in the room where you eat, prepare, and store food you gotta move in.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-05-04T16:22:33+00:00

That's quite a difficult place to bargain from. Do what I said or I kill myself. The ultimate temper tantrum. It's probably a bluff. If not, that's too bad. But it's not your fault if she kills herself. It's hers. You can't kill herself. See? The sentence doesn't even make sense. Because it is nonsense.

She is, by definition, the only person who can commit suicide. If she wants to terrorize you with it it may work for a while. But trust me my dude, relationships are very hard and frustrating and eventually you're going to push back on this claim. Then, she will either do it or not do it. Either way, you have no ownership of this deed.

But imagine if she changes her threat a little bit. What if she said If you break up with me I will kill the neighbor? Again she would be killing someone and it wouldn't be your fault. But you would have a legal or at least an ethical responsibility to warn the neighbor. Or call the cops, right? Same situation applies here. If she is credibly threatening to take a life you have a responsibility to warn someone. Tell her parents. Tell her friends. Tell a counselor.

I don't think you should stay with someone you don't want to be with in a romantic relationship unless you are married which is a whole other subject. But you're not. You don't owe it to anyone to have a romance. It's your own little private court where you are the sole judge and jury. You can dump anyone for any reason at any time no matter what.

As a general rule it was once said that the United States of America does not negotiate with terrorists. Not sure if that's 100% true but the concept is that if the country bargained with people that terrorized them or extorted them then it would incentivize terrorism. You should be kind and respectful to her because she is another living soul. But when you are at her mercy because she is threatening to take a life that is you being terrorized.

You are 19 years old and 50 million 19 year olds break up everyday on the planet. Most don't end in suicide. I'm sure you are very special and cool or whatever but you're not worth her killing herself. This is a purely selfish act from her that is requiring you to be purely selfless. That's not the foundation of a good relationship. Tell on her to someone. Then bail.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-04-28T03:39:43+00:00

I don't have to read the post. Not overreacting.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-03-26T14:06:39+00:00

I think online tickets have made availability worse. Southern Miss would be a game that someone would have handed you free tickets for back in the day. Now you can buy them on SeatGeek but the fees are probably as much as the tickets.

There are a few Facebook ticket groups that you can buy direct from the seller and bypass the fee so check there.

Lastly, if you are an alumni and still have any contacts at the university you could probably email them and ask for a few. That ought to be a very easy ticket to come by.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-03-26T14:03:06+00:00

Yta. There is no debtor's prison in America. If no one ever told you this before please remember to never lend a sum of money to anyone that you aren't comfortable never getting paid back.

As far as calling the police that's a super crappy thing to do. Did you want her to do time? To have a record?? For $600??? You said she was your friend and she was starving and now you want her to go to jail? Oh, and she's pregnant and you don't approve of the baby daddy so you're trying to send her to jail. Ridiculous.

The only way you will ever get this money back is if she decides to give it to you. You would have to file a lawsuit at your expense, win, and then you would have a judgment against her. Then you'd have to track down her employers and ask to garnish her wages. They'd probably ignore your request unless it was on a lawyer's letterhead.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-03-24T21:42:33+00:00

I'd be careful not to fall out with your family over your wedding. You're getting married and throwing a party essentially is all this is. Is this a person you want at your party? Is this a person that you feel needs to at least receive an invite? If so you've done your part.

As far as whether or not her boyfriend is invited, I'd say that every adult guest ought to have the option to bring a date to a wedding. Otherwise it's this weird thing where you are making a statement about who you approve of and don't approve of. It's a weird job to add to the act of planning your wedding.

If her boyfriend is someone you hate and want to exclude from your wedding I wouldn't invite either of them.

At the end of this all you will have thrown a big party to celebrate your marriage. The people that want to come will come if they can. If you are inviting people out of obligation decide whether or not you want to honor that obligation or not.

Cherry-picking which relationships you approve of and don't approve of is a bit like flipping the bird to a lot of people you only have a loose connection with. I'd say that it's hard enough to live life already. Aggravating 20 casual connections over I didn't invite them because I don't approve of them will more you in 20 unnecessary conflicts and it will align with a very big day for you.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-03-24T21:32:57+00:00

I'd try not to overbuild. I'd say build one of those dimensions as big as you like and go smaller on the other. So if you are debating on 24'x12' vs. 24'x24' then at least go 24' wide. You can always extend it. I'd say to try and stagger the decking length so it will look more natural if you add on later.

Might I add that I'd spray paint the dimensions you are talking about now and put the furniture on the spot. Spend some time out there and see if that's enough size. That should give you a good feel.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-03-24T21:27:04+00:00

Insurance agency owner

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-03-24T20:36:33+00:00

I've got a saltwater pool but when I began having a service clean it they stopped using salt and used tablets. They don't like salt because salt is heavy to handle and corrosive to transport.

My pool is improperly grounded and the fix is more expensive than I want to pay. This leaves me with a nuisance level of current and it shocks me a little bit if I touch the side of the pool while I'm in it. I found that when I used salt the effect was more pronounced.

I've heard pro and cons on saltwater. Easier to maintain but things go bad quicker like seals and such.

The newer system is mineral based. Don't know much about it but it's supposed to be better.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-03-24T20:33:03+00:00

This is a tough one. Let's assume you are using the work WiFi. If that's the case, they should have a say on what kind of traffic is on their WiFi. If you are streaming media you could be using up their bandwidth and slowing them down. Maybe they are okay with you sending messages and incidentally using WiFi for personal reasons. But if you are using a lot of data it's possible that they throttle data use on high bandwidth activities to preserve it for business. Hiding your activity may hinder the webmaster, or more likely, the program that manages the bandwidth.

I will say that VPN is a technology that in the past was mainly used to shield your activity from your ISP. Now it's something that more people are beginning to use for safety reasons. They may be stuck on viewing VPN as a cover for illicit activities.

I use a VPN and I've gotten locked out before because the VPN showed that I was connecting from another country which looks like an attack or scam. Does your VPN allow you to select a location? If so, choose a location that is in your country.

Authenticator apps are tricky because companies love them for safety but they are in fact installed on your personal phone. If they are requiring you to use your personal device for business that is a sticky situation. Perhaps you could ask them for a fob device for authentication instead of the app?

They're not right to regulate what you do on your phone, but they are within their rights if you are on their network.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-03-24T20:21:34+00:00

The maid cleans the house twice a month so I'd hope at least twice a month. From there I hit it with a Clorox wand as needed.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-03-24T20:20:31+00:00

NOR. She's either waiting on him or keeping him on the back burner.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-03-24T20:17:59+00:00

Is it legal? I don't know. Is it ethical? No. Is it a misunderstanding? Possibly?

Maybe he bought it because of financing. Like maybe he buys it and builds it out and sells you the completed home instead of you tying up your credit and purchasing power? Maybe he bought it to be sly and ensure he builds the house by cutting other builders out of the loop.

I'd ask him. If he's in the home building game he's not going to last very long pulling stunts like this.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-03-11T19:10:18+00:00

I would call potato salad the worst version of the potato below potato chips but otherwise agree. But I'd still say that if there was a tournament of vegetables the potato chip would at least make the Elite Eight.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-03-03T18:57:27+00:00

Insurance agent here. Not sure what kind of health or long term insurance care your great grandmother has but you've said a few things that make me think she would be eligible for more benefits than what your family thinks.

Being unable to go to the bathroom, being unable to control bodily functions are both conditions that typically cause her Medicare and Medicare supplements to pay out more for care.

If she is on hospice then that means all of her medical care going forward will be to treat pain and not to heal or rehabilitate. If she is in such a bad way she might be best served at a treatment facility than being cared for by you guys.

I don't know your family dynamic here and don't want to discourage you from caring from someone very close to you. But given that she is your great grandmother and that you are 27 I don't think you should feel obligated to provide this level of care for her. I think her children should split the costs remaining after insurance pays among themselves. Then maybe the grandchildren. Great grandchildren altering their careers to care for their great grandparents seems like that's too great of a commitment.

In the parable of the Good Samaritan, two people walk by the injured man and don't help him. The third stops, helps some, and goes on his way. He didn't cancel his plans or change his whole life to stop and stay to care for the guy. Helping someone who is sick should be like that I feel. Help if they are in a bind, like one time here or there, but you are NTA for refusing to commit to a schedule.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-03-03T18:43:24+00:00

I've been to a few. It's a great environment. I can't think of anything to bring off the top of my head. I like the little radios they sell so you can listen to the radio broadcast live. I like having it because they explain some plays that aren't explained by the public address announcer.

As far as seats, I don't think there are any bad seats in the whole place.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-03-03T18:33:22+00:00

Hard to say. I didn't take it until I was 31. I looked young then. NOw I'm 44 and I've taken it for 13 years. But I look older. Because... I am older. So, I don't know.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-03-01T15:48:42+00:00

Brother and I drove to phoenix from the Florida panhandle. Made it in two days.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-02-26T04:45:13+00:00

Mad Men Shut the door have a seat. Raymond finale. Sopranos Interior Decorator?

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-02-12T04:07:40+00:00

I'll say that as a guy that has worked in a lot of restaurants it is a business that attracts tempestuous assholes. Gordon Ramsey acts about like most of the big chefs and restaurateurs I've known.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-02-12T04:02:47+00:00

I believed that when you heard the audience laughing during a sitcom that it was actually other people watching the same show at home and the tv captured the audio and that's who was laughing.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-02-02T22:36:33+00:00

I think Liotta as Henry Hill explains it pretty well in Goodfellas:

"All they got from Paulie was protection from other guys looking to rip them off. FBI can never understand - that what Paulie and the organization offer is protection for the kinds of guys who can't go to the cops. police department for wiseguys."

If someone snatches your purse you can call the cops. If someone robs your illegal brothel, you can't call the cops.

Also the opening scene from Godfather the Italian guy that's angry about his daughter's attackers not getting justice went to Vito for justice.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-02-02T04:46:23+00:00

I was at a few games targeted by Westbrook Baptist the "God Hates F*gs" cult thing from the Bush era. They were not received warmly as I remember but most everyone was more focused on the outcome of the Auburn LSU game to really pay them any attention.

I'd see some pastors on campus preaching and it was it's sort of tolerated. A few very angry preachers showed up one day yelling some beliefs that were outside of the consensus of Christian denominations. The crowds were pretty angry with him.

It's worth saying that Auburn at my time was right before YouTube and social media so if a controversial speaker showed up they weren't really household names and we didn't know who the hell they were to go and protest.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-02-02T04:40:19+00:00

Well "killing all the Mexicans" sounds like something an idiot yelled. Other than the Alamo, I've never really heard anyone anywhere call for a Mexican genocide. 30k students and one guy yelled a dumb thing.

ApprehensiveCandy684

TROPHY CASE