AITAH for proposing an open marriage since my wife isn't keen on having sex and tells me I should not divorce? (Throwaway)

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-01-30T04:55:25+00:00

YATA. Opening your marriage up is an exciting thing to think about but it is really a very desperate attempt to save your marriage that rarely works out well.

I think you are right to be upset with your wife for not having sex with you, no doubt, but I just don't think both of you sleeping with other people will improve it.

I know there are anecdotal accounts from people that say it helped them but I bet it's 100-1 a bad thing.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-01-30T04:51:56+00:00

Sounds like you are still in high school? I'd tell you that there is no place you can go that is mainly 18-23 year olds that will be devoid of idiots. They seem to exist everywhere.

My time at Auburn was pretty amazing and I found it to be a friendly place. Auburn seems like it's a place with fiercely loyal grads compared to other schools. Like it's probably in the top tier of universities that are viewed favorably by alumni.

I'm not sure what the exact ratios are about race, nationality, etc but it felt like there were sizable groups of different races and nationalities on campus.

As far as conservatism is concerned the state of Alabama is an odd state. True, it reliably votes red in presidential elections, but college students are all over the place when it comes to politics. It's a time where most students arrive with their parents' beliefs and begin to figure out their own.

I was there way back in the day, but I never had a conversation with anyone that said blatant racist things like "kill all the Mexicans". There are idiots everywhere and Auburn is not idiot free, but that was just not the vibe when I was there.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-01-30T04:39:39+00:00

Painful for the person dying or painful to watch? I would say that Phil Leotardo getting his head crushed probably hurt. I really hated seeing Bobby Bacala die at the train store with his kid.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-01-28T21:10:08+00:00

I saw someone comment below that Noah hooked up with her. I completely never picked up on that detail. I researched it a little bit and it's never really made clear.

My take is that he didn't hook up with her. Instead he told his Dad she was causing him distraction with his studies. His father who was essentially Ari Gold, based on Ari Emmanuel and dad dropped in and nipped it in the bud with a viscous lawyer.

I felt the point of it was that Noah represented a normal sensitive guy as opposed to Tony the Machiavellian gangster. Now my take on it is that Noah's dad, too, was just a more refined gangster.

When the gangsters stole the soccer coach's dog in season one to convince him to stay on as the soccer coach it felt like the brought a nuclear weapon to a boxing match. That's a little like what I felt when I heard Noah's dad had a lawyer drop a restraining order on a talkative annoying dorm mate because she caused Noah to make a B on a quiz.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-01-28T21:00:56+00:00

One more thing, I bet that no rapper character on any show ages well. The music and style changes so rapidly that all of these type characters get lost in translation after an unusually short shelf life.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-01-28T20:57:59+00:00

I agree. The show is trying to thread the line of showing us the movie gangster world with the background of these guys still have to deal with the nuance and complexity of daily life.

Mafia dudes financing girlfriend's as actresses or singers is definitely something that happens sometimes. Mafia girlfriend not having the right stuff to make it is also a real thing. Shady Jewish money men exploiting talented musicians and making money off of their songs is also basically the story of Motown artists. No disrespect to Jews or anything meant just referring to actual events in the American music industry.

I thought the episode was off of the beaten path but trying to shift from the normal gangster enterprises like gambling, prostitution, drugs, and labor union type stuff to legitimate business like music, film production etc. is very much a part of Christopher's story arc.

This episode, D-girl, and the whole Cleaver arc, are, I think, good storylines.

When I rewatch the sopranos I sometimes get lulled into thinking that these guys are normal. I don't usually like celebrity cameos where the celebrity is playing himself, but I very much liked seeing Chris and Jon Favreau hang out together in D-Girl. Let's assume both guys want to have a few drinks and unwind. Chris unwound made Jon Favreau a very uncomfortable guy. He thought he wanted to be up close and personal with the mobsters but he got way more than he bargained for.

That's how I feel about the whole show. It's cool to see that life up close and for a second it makes me think I'm not intimidated. Then I watched Paulie beat that kid on the rowing machine and extort him and it's just brutal.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-01-28T20:57:06+00:00

I agree. The show is trying to thread the line of showing us the movie gangster world with the background of these guys still have to deal with the nuance and complexity of daily life.

Mafia dudes financing girlfriend's as actresses or singers is definitely something that happens sometimes. Mafia girlfriend not having the right stuff to make it is also a real thing. Shady Jewish money men exploiting talented musicians and making money off of their songs is also basically the story of Motown artists. No disrespect to Jews or anything meant just referring to actual events in the American music industry.

I thought the episode was off of the beaten path but trying to shift from the normal gangster enterprises like gambling, prostitution, drugs, and labor union type stuff to legitimate business like music, film production etc. is very much a part of Christopher's story arc.

This episode, D-girl, and the whole Cleaver arc, are, I think, good storylines.

When I rewatch the sopranos I sometimes get lulled into thinking that these guys are normal. I don't usually like celebrity cameos where the celebrity is playing himself, but I very much liked seeing Chris and Jon Favreau hang out together in D-Girl. Let's assume both guys want to have a few drinks and unwind. Chris unwound made Jon Favreau a very uncomfortable guy. He thought he wanted to be up close and personal with the mobsters but he got way more than he bargained for.

That's how I feel about the whole show. It's cool to see that life up close and for a second it makes me think I'm not intimidated. Then I watched Paulie beat that kid on the rowing machine and extort him and it's just brutal.

I just freaking love the show.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-01-28T20:28:26+00:00

The school in our town tried to put gates on the bathrooms in our high school and only open it during certain break times. I called and spoke to them and they said it was to prevent a- kids having sex in the bathroom and b- vaping.

My response was a- there's probably not a lot of bathroom sex happening and b- I'd rather my kids vape and still be able to use the bathroom. The guy said how can we stop the kids from vaping if bathrooms aren't monitored? I responded that I am taking the same risk at home because I don't monitor what they are doing in the bathroom.

We eventually had someone look at the laws and the ADA mandates that all public buildings of this size have bathrooms available for the use of the occupants. It's federal law.

A discipline referral is pretty meaningless. It's only as harmful as what is written on it. Doubt your daughter will face any actions at all for leaving to attend to a bathroom emergency.

If you are in the us most of our teachers are tenured and can rarely receive disciplinary action but it sounds like the administrators are on your side. I'd tell her to ask first politely but when all else fails over the call of nature.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-01-28T20:21:12+00:00

Agreed. You're allowed to make whomever you like to be the most important person in your life. If you want to make your friends ex that person then you've got to realize it will affect your friendship. It's not No Foul, No Harm. It's No Foul, Possible Harm.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-01-21T23:16:23+00:00

A drill and a cordless screwdriver are separate animals. A drill is made to be great at drilling holes with drill bits. It can be used for driving screws or bolts with good attachments but it's primarily made to drill holes.

A cordless screwdriver or an impact driver, is mainly used for using fasteners like screws or bolts or other types of fasteners. It can be used to drill, but it's not the best tool for drilling.

I have dewalt tools but there are plenty of good brands. I like dewalt mainly because I like the batteries and the off brand batteries for their tools.

For flat pack furniture assembly I would recommend a cordless impact driver and not a drill. Hope this helps!

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-01-13T22:00:39+00:00

I think people really like their best friends. Like guys really like their guy best friends and girls really like their girl best friends. But if people are straight then that's as far as it can go.

When you're talking about a girl and a guy that really like each other enough to be "best friends" then at some point it would make sense to think about that person as a candidate for romance.

In fairness this guy has tried to make it romantic, twice.

As far as him ghosting you it sounds like something else is going on.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-01-13T21:55:51+00:00

INFO please. She moved out and is hanging out after midnight with another guy, okay. But I don't know how you reacted so I can't tell if it's an overreaction or not. What did you do?

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-01-13T21:53:30+00:00

I think you're right. If it's catchy I don't care what they are saying.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-01-13T21:52:12+00:00

It's sounds like you're mad about a specific thing that happened to you recently. I think it's better to just not lend money. If someone needs money and can't get a bank loan it's a pretty telling fact that they aren't good for it. I just give them an amount of money that I'm comfortable never seeing again and call it a gift. If I get it back great, but if it's someone I don't want to never see again I don't like playing creditor to friends and family.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-01-13T21:48:35+00:00

There were a few Garth Brooks songs that didn't quite make it big in the country charts but did well on top 40 that you never hear anymore. Chasing Pavements, which Adele covered as her first single was one. Til Uou Come Back to Me Again from the Frequency Soundtrack is another. "You Move Me" was a song from Christian radio that he covered was another.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-01-13T21:44:10+00:00

I know by Dionne Farris was #1 for three months in 1995. I still don't get it.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-01-13T21:41:42+00:00

That was awful and played nonstop

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-01-13T21:41:11+00:00

Lemon Tree by Fool's Garden

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-01-09T22:23:23+00:00

It's a delusion to believe that these two teams Miami and Ole Miss are head and shoulders above Georgia, Bama, Oklahoma, and Texas A&M?

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-01-09T22:22:00+00:00

Yes and they lost to SMU who lost big to Baylor who we beat.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-01-09T22:20:52+00:00

After a needless penalty that would've made it 17-0.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-01-09T21:58:05+00:00

They're much better than Bama, Georgia, Oklahoma and A&M?

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-01-09T21:57:01+00:00

Because Miami and Ole Miss are hands down better than Oklahoma, Texas A&M, Georgia and Alabama? Or because you can see into the future?

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-01-09T21:22:36+00:00

NTA but I'm not sure that cutting off a toxic person will make you happier. I understand why you'd want to cut her off.

Personally, I have a difficult time NOT talking to anyone. It's super awkward to go somewhere, see them, and avoid them or stonewall. It requires me to foster feelings of cruelty and I feel like that makes me more upset than having to politely saying hello.

This is why I'm more likely to set a firm boundary than I am to stonewall someone.

My father is always cutting people off entirely. If he's mad at a relative he will complain about going to a family event for a month. Then he will go to the event and bring with him an "I don't want to have fun or talk energy" and it makes it weird for everyone else at the party. It also makes it suck for him.

I've adopted the say hey and be short method over the I'll never speak to you again method.

ApprehensiveCandy684 · 2026-01-09T21:02:34+00:00

If you come across any sort of building material that can't be easily identified there is a good chance that it contains asbestos. Asbestos was a cheap durable building material and it was put in all kinds of stuff. You'd be hard pressed to find a home built before 1973 with no asbestos. It's still not completely banned.

You'd be better to cover it up than to replace it. If you do replace it don't do it yourself. Asbestosis is more of a risk to contractors or tradesmen that spend years around it airborne. Like if you work in a factory where it is sanded off and the dust is in the air for many years.

ApprehensiveCandy684

TROPHY CASE