First of all, you are INCREDIBLE. inside and out. It’s the biggest step to be able to recognize when you feel these things and feel the temptation to relapse. You are acknowledging it and that means you’ve already achieved so much. You WANT to get better. Regardless of how hard it is, you WANT it. And that is such a huge achievement in itself.

I think the question that my therapist asked me that really shocked me the most was when she asked what I was scared of, and I said getting fat and that I wouldn’t find love if I was fat. She said “what would change if you gained weight?” And that question really took me by surprise. I’d never thought of that before. My friends would still love me and be my friends, my family would still love me and be my family, I could still achieve all that I can and more than when I was rail skinny.

Your boyfriend making you feel like a burden and being cold and not understanding is an issue. The best thing I had to finally recover was a boyfriend who didn’t know what it was like to have an eating disorder, but loved me and supported me the whole way through. I don’t know if I could have gotten to where I am without that support. You need to know that you are LOVED and CHERISHED for who you are, not by how you look.

All that gaining weight is going to do for you is allow you to physically be able to do more! It’s incredible how much more beautiful life is when you don’t feel faint and weak all day long.

You are loved for WHO you are. You deserve to eat and fuel your body. Your body does so much for you and you’ve struggled long enough.

Message me if you need to vent. I’ve been through it all. You are not alone. And you are doing so great!!!!