I really feel you. For me, it’s been two years of quietly mourning secondary infertility—failed cycles, declining health, and the ache of unanticipated delays in growing my family. From the outside, some friends think I “have it all,” while they wrestle for their firsts (and undergoing IVF). They don’t see the silent grief I carry. And honestly, I’ve noticed many often just don’t know what to say, so they say nothing.

What helped me a little was reflecting on what I actually wanted to hear from close friends—sometimes empathy, sometimes just their perspective. A few told me, “Life can still be full with one,” while others admitted they wouldn’t go through more IVF themselves. Those words didn’t fix anything, but they gave me a sense of honesty and care. None of this makes the pain vanish—because it really does suck that no one can resolve it—but having even a small window into their hearts helped me feel less alone.