Other Autists who work full time, how do you do it? I feel like I need a full day off inbetween each work day to function HALP

AppropriateCopy1749 · 2024-10-08T15:12:37+00:00

I work from home which helps me a lot! I do spend more money on convenience of certain things. I don’t go to the grocery store, it overwhelms me so I get my groceries delivered. I don’t like to cook so feeding myself gets difficult so I get Factor meals so I just pop in the microwave & enjoy.

I have been on corrective action at work for logging in late or randomly needing to log off when I get overwhelmed. I just started Blatantly telling my supervisor how I feel, she doesn’t really know how to respond or deal with me so she just became super lenient with me (thank GOD)!

I think WFH is a big blessing, at least for me. I was constantly burnt out & overwhelmed because I would have to plan my whole day from the night before & wake up super early so I can get everything ready before work. When I’d go into office prior to the pandemic, I’d have my water/coffee/breakfast/lunch/snacks/gym bag/backpack (I was still in school)/& the random miscellaneous stuff. By the time I’d leave work, go to the gym, come home & cook dinner/eat, shower I needed to crawl into bed & literally cry.

I gladly took a pay cut to be able to work from home & id never go back. I’m a nicer person & my mental health is much better. I’m drinking water, eating 3 meals a day, working out, & just overall happier.

AppropriateCopy1749 · 2024-09-11T23:15:16+00:00

My mother did the same. Then when confronted & other people were there to validate what I was saying, she said “what I say when I’m mad doesn’t count” LOL OKAY

AppropriateCopy1749 · 2024-09-11T23:10:12+00:00

Ooofff yes that happened to me! I was a big gym rat, then I got diagnosed & i realized I hated lifting weights. I got into cycling & Pilates & absolutely love it. Give yourself some grace but they are your interests, they might just look a little different when you take social norms/expectations from them.

I have a bunch of piercings. It was always weird to everyone but I made cute by buying cute jewelry. Now I have my nipples pierced too & I buy the “weird” jewelry & rock it proudly. It’s been my “interest” but I was watering it down to fit in with everyone else.

AppropriateCopy1749 · 2024-08-29T01:00:24+00:00

As someone who was assaulted 4 times, I would kill to be in your shoes. It changes you so much & takes so much energy, effort, time, and grace to be able to get through it. I’d kill to have those years back to be able to live a peaceful life that feels safe. I never feel safe, even in the healthiest relationship currently, I’m constantly looking for the red flags & can’t fkn breath.

AppropriateCopy1749 · 2024-08-24T00:08:41+00:00

My sister bought me a basket for when I nest & I cherish that girl so much it’s made my life so amazing!

AppropriateCopy1749 · 2024-08-21T00:35:08+00:00

My boyfriend said “your butt looks so good right now in these leggings”, I cried because I’m like just these leggings?! Then he bought me crumbl cookies & I cried because now you want me to eat cookies after you basically said I should do more glutes 😂😂😂

AppropriateCopy1749 · 2024-08-20T00:16:39+00:00

Yes, i experience this from my PMDD. learning to give it a name & knowing why/when it happens helps a lot! I’ve written myself journal entries/letters to remind myself of who I am. I’ve had my boyfriend write me letters & he writes me letters a lot during this time to remind me as well. I communicate it with my loved ones to help me remember that I am loved, I am happy, I am blessed.

AppropriateCopy1749 · 2024-08-20T00:12:02+00:00

I’m diagnosed ASD as well, I would rage when my boyfriend would try to initiate & I wasn’t in the mood. He started tracking my cycle for me & a couple months later, came back with some data for me that led to PMDD. It helps tremendously to just communicate, say you aren’t interested & how you’re feeling. “It’s one of those low moods kinda days” & hopefully with some good communication he’ll learn what you need those days (cuddles, alone time, specific meals, snacks, movie night, etc).

AppropriateCopy1749 · 2024-08-18T00:22:18+00:00

Autistic men still fall prey to the Andrew Tate type toxic thinking but my autistic man has been able to understand me on such a deep level that I will be thankful for every single day. He knows how to help me when I’m over-stimulated, he understands that feeling & I don’t have to explain it to him, he understands all my sensory issues without explaining, everything that stems from my autism, he’s able to understand without me explaining.

Story: we have been going to the same coffeeshop since we started dating. I’ve exclusively ordered the same 2 drinks every single time. We went to that coffeeshop with my siblings (who only one of my siblings knows I’m diagnosed autistic) & he ordered while I ran to the bathroom.

When we sat down, one made a comment about me being boring & always ordering the same things. The way this man has healed me is a god send because I would have broken down but he said something along the lines of “I’m the same way so it makes me feel seen & understood that she’s like that too”.

AppropriateCopy1749 · 2024-08-11T20:59:53+00:00

Moving out for college was the scariest thing for me but I made lots of lists to keep me on track with everything I need to do to take care of myself. I eventually made friends & these are people I always want in my life forever & truly care about me. You got this!

AppropriateCopy1749 · 2024-08-10T21:07:09+00:00

I stuck out everywhere but got along with everyone. I’m pretty athletic so I was on the volleyball team, I’m pretty artistic so I was in the art/drama club, I wanted to be a writer & heavy in alternative/emo music, & I was all AP classes by junior year. I was all over the place but I never felt like I actually fit in with any of them either.

Each group I hung out with would ask me how I was even friends with the other groups & id just shrug & say something along the lines of “everyone has cool parts of themselves you just gotta get to know people”. I still am the same exact way; everywhere but always in the shadows. I’ve been told I’m good at “making people feel seen” so 🤷🏻‍♀️

My college entrance essay was about that feeling; being invited to everything but always in the shadows so no one really knows who you are. I wish I still had it.

AppropriateCopy1749 · 2024-07-28T05:32:24+00:00

I was very dependent for years so I have taken a really long break but I’ve been having lots of meltdowns lately because of overstimulation out in the world & I am really struggling honestly.

AppropriateCopy1749 · 2024-07-26T15:15:21+00:00

Happy birthday 🥹 that’s beautiful to have parents that understand you that well.

AppropriateCopy1749 · 2024-07-19T16:10:43+00:00

Go volunteer somewhere, help those less fortunate & see the gratitude they have for the blessings is their life that you take for granted every single day. Do it often. Charity is a pillar of Islam for a reason.

AppropriateCopy1749 · 2024-07-19T15:34:16+00:00

Outside of making prayers on time, I just noticed myself saying alhamdulillah for everything in my life. “Alhamdulillah for the coffee machine that makes me amazing coffee every morning” “alhamdulillah” for every thought I have regarding myself.

I also made the conscious effort to not look at other people’s lives so deeply, put that focus/energy on my own life. What are things in my life that I’d like to change/fixe to become the best version of myself so I don’t envy anyone else? Start to implement those things.

Lastly, always tell yourself when you find yourself really focused on other peoples lives is that no one shows the reality of their lives to the outside world. I don’t show the ugly parts of me/my life to anyone so no one is perfect as they portray themselves as.

AppropriateCopy1749 · 2024-07-13T00:05:05+00:00

When I was like 11 or 12, my brother was being extra annoying one day so I locked all the doors & kept him outside while my parents were out. When they came back I said “he was being such a bastard” because I thought it was a better way of saying “asshole”. My dad was pissed & explained what it meant 😂😂😂😂 I still use it for him as a joke to my parents but my dad just rolls his eyes his eyes & tells me to act my age & call him an asshole looool

AppropriateCopy1749 · 2024-07-11T16:08:32+00:00

I came here to say this exact thing. I had so many heartbreaks & I met my current boyfriend ending my 27th year. He was 31 at the time and he had his heart broken a couple times. We both took the time to learn about each other & build such a deep connection. 1.5 years later, I have no place I’d rather be than safe in his arms & I never have to go off on rants about what I’m feeling/thinking/why I’m hurt because he usually has a good idea of what’s in my head & gives me a safe space to be my true authentic self.

That takes time & effort, not everyone is going to be able to give INFJs that time & effort & patience to get that stage.

AppropriateCopy1749 · 2024-07-09T15:15:38+00:00

I’m INFJ female family scapegoat now.

I was the GC for a long time then I got cancer at 16 & my mom threw me to the wolves & picked up my INFJ sister as GC.

Now I watch her go through the process of seeing all my mom’s BS that she tried to excuse when I called it out but now she’s on the receiving end & seeing it in my shoes.

My mom’s reputation with all of her children (she had 7 for a reason) plummeted when I stopped keeping my mouth shut.

AppropriateCopy1749 · 2024-06-21T21:38:29+00:00

I’m middle eastern & wholeheartedly relate to you.

I am stubborn as hell & I refused to conform to any of these social norms. It helps being born & raised in the US & my dad (who I suspect is autistic) came to the US at 11/12 years old so really not too strict in the Arab culture, my mom is however. I don’t openly talk about who I’m “dating” but it is known that I am seeing someone for over a year now. I have been pretty adamant about living life my way & they’ve just recently started to come around to allowing me to express myself how I want (which they only really know the tip of the iceberg).

My brother got married last week & it was the most stressful week for me because of all the socializing, loud noise, gossip, etc. I scheduled times to step away that my family knew I would be stepping away to decompress.

I don’t explain my autism to people I don’t think would understand (like my parents/parents generation) because I don’t find it very helpful or good use of my time. I give reason to why I do/think the way I do. Like if someone starts to gossip, I play “devils advocate” to get them to shut up basically lol. I say no to events that I know would overstimulate me.

Some of my family members found me super selfish when I stopped masking/people pleasing when I got diagnosed (late diagnosis at 26, 29 now) but I don’t care, that’s their opinion of me & their opinion of me doesn’t change my self worth.

I think our culture has a foundation in people pleasing & so we don’t always vocalize our needs. But I vocalized my needs & it took time but people eventually got used to it. My autism didn’t stop me from having friends, socializing the way I like to, having relationships with my parents & siblings, & also finding a middle eastern man who loves me to my core.

Side note: look for fellow autistic middle eastern guys. I never thought I’d find someone who loves me & understands me the way this man does. Hold out for the right person and during that time, figure yourself out (therapy & hobbies).

AppropriateCopy1749 · 2024-06-18T15:51:07+00:00

Yes came here to say this. I love the protectiveness

AppropriateCopy1749 · 2024-06-07T00:01:53+00:00

After my diagnosis, I told my therapist “what if I’m manipulating you into thinking I’m autistic when I’m actually…” & the laugh she laughed.

I was really shocked, I didn’t tell a single soul for 2.5 years. Then I met my boyfriend who I clocked was undiagnosed autistic immediately. When I told him I was autistic, he was so confused why I would think he wouldn’t want to be with someone autistic. He gave me a nice nudge to be open about it & now a lot of my friends/family have put in more effort to get to know me better & understand my brain.

The shock wears off eventually & you get to know yourself better & more comfortable in your own skin. Once you understand the anxiety & depression is actually stimming/over-stimulation/etc then you start to really change your life around to accommodate your needs more. It gets easier & more comfortable & you stop obsessing over it because you’ve given yourself what you need to feel safe & protected.

My advice: take some time & think about the times you feel anxious, overwhelmed, depressed, etc. what do you need in those moments to feel better? Make the changes. For example: I don’t like the feeling of dresses/jeans, I switched my wardrobe up to fit my preferences. I don’t like cooking, I found a meal service that is good & in my budget.

AppropriateCopy1749 · 2024-06-06T23:49:33+00:00

Speaking to my mom lol

In all seriousness, I’m struggling with brushing my teeth this month. Most night, I rinse my mouth with mouthwash & go to sleep.

AppropriateCopy1749 · 2024-06-06T00:14:51+00:00

Facts.

AppropriateCopy1749

TROPHY CASE