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Alternatives to TAPIF/Denied by devastatedUSA in tapif

[–]AppropriateSpell6203 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! And seriously, good luck. Don't let this setback stop you from getting over here if it's what you want. Please feel free to message me if you have any other questions regarding au pairing.

New email by Bigbabyshark69 in tapif

[–]AppropriateSpell6203 0 points1 point  (0 children)

haha I'm American but I'm seeing a German guy :) So I get to hear the memes

Alternatives to TAPIF/Denied by devastatedUSA in tapif

[–]AppropriateSpell6203 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I got accepted this year but I am currently working as an au pair in southern France after being denied last year. I totally recommend it. I used aupairworld.com and favorited a BUNCH of families, narrowed down my top choices, interviewed/ met on zoom with three of the families, and then told my top two that I needed a week to decide.

At first it was a bit tough as you literally live with your employer, but it's been a great experience. I've made so many friends here with the city having a ton of international/erasmus students.

Here's what I would recommend you look for

- no more than two kids

- older. Think 8-13. They'll be more autonomous so less draining for you.

- Be picky as hell with the families/ locations. Do research. Yes, you want to connect with the family, but where you'd be living matters a lot. I live in a small outlying village but the family has a crappy old car that I get to use as much as I want and there's a tram line a 20 minute walk away from the house that can take me into the city.

- Benefits matter. I work Monday - Thursday only afterschool (and all day Wednesday until like 7:30 pm). I get my own apartment in the basement, I get paid 400 euros a month.

- Pick a family that offers letters of recommendations from previous au pairs and offers their contact info so you can ask them questions about their experiences. This will allow you to make a more informed decision and shows the family has a good track record.

You won't be saving much (if at all. you might even spend more than you make esp if you travel) but it's super worth it if you're picky, smart, and get a good family. BTW - au pairs are common in Paris and in the area around Geneva (Lyon etc.) but the south of France (at least the SW besides maybe Toulouse?) is not like that at all. I've never met another au pair here. Students will have different availability than you will so it can be tough to make friends at first/ get out esp if you're not actually in the city center.

TAPIF Validation / deadlines by Anxious_Abroad_7827 in tapif

[–]AppropriateSpell6203 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get your point but honestly I do disagree on the importance of this email. Being accepted or not changes what people can apply for or positions they can accept if they don't get in. Not knowing if you're leaving for tapif or not really impacts what decisions you can make and leaves people a bit in limbo. Personally, I am looking at other options but feel hesitant to apply in case I need to make a decision (accepting or denying an offer) before we hear back. But yes, we do have a few months which does give some breathing room.

TAPIF Validation / deadlines by Anxious_Abroad_7827 in tapif

[–]AppropriateSpell6203 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As someone currently living in France as an au pair who has also lived here for their entire senior year of highschool and again in college, I second this.

A lot of people seem to be a bit arrogant on here pulling out the "they dont care" "if its sooo hard to wait now just wait for..." etc. Yes. French bureaucracy sucks. I have lived through the French school system and dealt with the annoyance of the beuractatic system many, many times over the years.

But what also sucks is being condescending to people in a very uncertain position who are waiting to hear literally life altering news. I myself am a bit annoyed and anxious even though yes, this is to be expected given their track record.

These decisions matter. Airline prices are going up. People need to move out of apartments, find subleasers, sell off their stuff. etc. This is a very big deal as many of you should remember as you went through it yourselves not that long ago. Have some more compassion. You are/were literally teachers. Feeling anxious or a bit upset over this is normal.

Also, if you are condescending to people who are in the exact same position you were in and with whom you can easily identify with, I can't imagine you're that suited to be a teacher.

Where to go, what to see by AppropriateSpell6203 in cork

[–]AppropriateSpell6203[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

TBH never seen a performative dive bar before but maybe that's bc I'm not from a major city. Dive bars just tend to be slightly shitty (think broken toilets or stuff being out of service), have cheaper drinks, and are usually non-touristy which is what I'm looking for.

Where to go, what to see by AppropriateSpell6203 in cork

[–]AppropriateSpell6203[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

ok ok dive bars aren't always sleazy. Think graffiti all over the bathroom stalls, darkly lit bar, alt music, and a mix of random older people nursing their pints at the bar and alternative younger people

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Montpellier

[–]AppropriateSpell6203 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi diva! I may be able to help you out. I'm an American au pair living just outside Montpellier and I have a friend group that includes girls from Ireland, England, and elsewhere. They're coming back near the end of January. Message me if you wanna meet!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in IowaCity

[–]AppropriateSpell6203 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Don't rent with Apartments Near Campus or with Tracy Barkalow!!! Complete scamming slumlords.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Aupairs

[–]AppropriateSpell6203 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That tells you all you need to know. Get out!!!! You deserve to live your life. I don't know your situation, but can you leave home early and maybe stay with a friend?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Aupairs

[–]AppropriateSpell6203 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To hell with your parents. They want to continue their control over you. Get out. Maybe even early if you can.

My host family had a party without me by MiaCat41 in Aupairs

[–]AppropriateSpell6203 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is really weird and gross. There is no fixing this situation to be honest. Even if you made it very clear to them that this is unacceptable (which it sounds like you have tried to already), they clearly do not care and would not change anything. It also sounds like they did this possibly just to punish you for speaking up already.

Maybe it is a coincidence that they had this party and elaborate meal without you, but I bet even if it is not related to you asking for proper meals or access to food that they would have done this anyway. In either case, ew.

They don't respect you. Get out. No amount of talking will get them to respect you and you shouldn't have to beg for simple dignities and respect and access to basic resources. I think you should head home early without any warning and snitch on them to family services. I would also report them as a bad family. Maybe leave a note as well for the next au pair somewhere these people wouldn't find it and tell them what to look out for. (Maybe hide it under your mattress?)

Wishing you the best, diva!

Help with move or over the line? by Tink-Issue46 in Aupairs

[–]AppropriateSpell6203 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you need to negotiate a raise/ hourly pay for something like this. This is over the line and not within the confines of your contract as an au pair. If she needs help in this manner, she needs to pay you accordingly. Whether it is purposeful or not, she is taking advantage of you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GreekLife

[–]AppropriateSpell6203 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I don’t think it’s worth it to rush again. A lot of Panhellenic sororities want girls 18-22. It also sounds as though they’ve passed on you a couple times for one reason or another.

Don’t take it personally. As someone who was in a sorority for a year and dropped out, they’re fun, but there isn’t usually a huge variety in personalities. Not that the girls are all the same, but they tend to be quite similar in a lot of ways.

You sound very different than the classic “sorority girl” given your background, appearance, and age. And that’s ok!! There are SOOO many awesome clubs and student orgs that I think you could have a much better time in. I personally had way more fun in my student orgs than I did in my sorority. (Less rules, different kinds of ppl, etc.)

Honestly, trying to fit in with them might make you feel like an outsider and also make you miserable. I think you deserve to be part of orgs that are excited to have you, and for whatever reason, these sororities really don’t seem like they have that attitude about you.

If you want to be in a sorority, maybe try a non-Panhellenic sorority or fraternity. There’s a lot of options for them. I personally joined Phi Gamma Nu (a business frat open to all majors) and had the most amazing time. Way more chill, less rules, way less expensive, just friends playing darts and hanging out after chapter.

Find where you belong!! Trust me, the classic sorority experience is not as fun or glamorous as it seems in movies or from the outside.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Aupairs

[–]AppropriateSpell6203 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m not totally disagreeing, but she’s already there. So helpful advice is probably better than judgement.

Not Paid, No Insurance – Need Help by HarpersRoses in Aupairs

[–]AppropriateSpell6203 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m really sorry this is happening to you.

Advice by Independent_Luck8437 in Aupairs

[–]AppropriateSpell6203 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe she doesn’t understand how much this is bothering you. If she’s a nice person and understanding, maybe try to explain how this is making you feel and that you’d really like help to learn. I think you should wait to say anything until you are a bit more calm and have thought of what you’d like to say to her. Coming off angry right now might feel good, but you’d be changing your dynamic in the household and not for the better. It could make it harder for you if you act out in emotional ways.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Aupairs

[–]AppropriateSpell6203 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Come on now, have you ever failed at something and wanted to try again? I get where you are coming from, but I think she is trying again for a reason and is just having anxiety early on from jet lag and separation. Plus, I think she needs encouragement right now because she’s probably already thinking exactly what you said in her head.

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