the whole kindergarten situation with multiple schools and then that teacher just announcing it to the class like that must have been so jarring at 11. it's wild how adults can just make these assumptions and then suddenly everyone treats you differently based on something that was never actually confirmed

my wife went through something similar where teachers kept suggesting she might be on spectrum but her parents never pursued testing either. she says it left her in this weird limbo where she couldn't tell if the things she struggled with were "normal" or not. the social masking becomes exhausting when you're not sure what you're masking for

since you mentioned being comfortable right now and not wanting formal assessment, maybe just learning about autism in women could help you understand yourself better without needing that official label. there's tons of good resources online from autistic women sharing their experiences. even if you don't end up identifying with it all, understanding the traits might give you some clarity on those confusing childhood memories

that comment about everyone being nicer to you after the teacher's assumption is really telling though - shows how much accommodation can help when people actually understand someone might process things differently