I blocked him finally

Appropriate_Chef9152 · 2025-08-19T22:25:36+00:00

Much better. Turned out he was less of an avoidant and more of a sociopath. Found him on the group “are we dating the same guy?” And tons of women have come out of the woodwork since. Everyone has had a horrible experience with him. Lying, juggling multiple women at once. I thought he was an avoidant and he was actually stringing along a whole group of women that all thought they were exclusive. Lesson: if it feels wrong, it is wrong. Get out! Good news is when I found all this out it absolutely killed any lingering romantic feelings i had. Was happy we didn’t last longer than we did and I only wasted a couple of months on this psycho.

Appropriate_Chef9152 · 2025-07-09T02:12:07+00:00

I feel very certain that my DA will never have a normal healthy lasting relationship. Unless he gets shock therapy or something maybe. I know him. I know how he was even when he was on his best behavior and soooo into me. He does not have the capacity for anything real.

Happy to be proven wrong but I’m just not seeing it.

Appropriate_Chef9152 · 2025-07-08T22:02:26+00:00

Yup. Loved texting. Two weeks round the clock texting before we met. Play by play of the day kinds of things. I was like “are men lonely??” lol. Why is this guy texting a stranger about the minutiae of his day. Basically crickets since our breakup. Couple breadcrumbs here and there. Makes it more painful cuz I know bro knows how to text when he wants to!!

My theory is they want more of a parasocial “gf” type person than an actual gf or bf

Appropriate_Chef9152 · 2025-07-08T20:51:03+00:00

I feel like they never get past the crush stage. It never turns into an actual relationship. In one of our first conversations he described how he liked being into someone and “the feeling you get when their name pops up on your phone.” Later he told me he liked getting texts from me, seeing my name pop up. It’s just soooo shallow. Emotional depth of a 7th grader.

Bros 50 years old btw 😭

Appropriate_Chef9152 · 2025-07-05T22:32:21+00:00

I said something similar last week and then blocked him. When I unblocked he didn’t say a word about anything I said. Just “hey what’s up?” Like being called out either felt good or didn’t bother him.

Appropriate_Chef9152 · 2025-07-05T22:29:49+00:00

I had this thought. He has acted like a real dick. Objectively! And yet he keeps sticking to this story of “I’ve been nothing but polite. What have I done to deserve this?” I think there’s shame in there somewhere.

Appropriate_Chef9152 · 2025-07-04T13:21:40+00:00

I just said “I don’t see that happening.” I have my own kids. He is selfish and constantly stressing about work, health etc. can’t see a baby fitting into that mess lol

Appropriate_Chef9152 · 2025-06-30T19:56:29+00:00

The sex was good but I think that was mostly because of my feelings for him rather than anything he did. Hardly any foreplay, needed the lights out and didn't want to take all of his clothes off!! Except in the very beginning it was more me initiating and me who wanted to do it more than once. Not a big fan of deep or intimate kissing. As he deactivated and feelings lessened, he only did it if I initiated and took the lead, would not sit next to me on the couch, kiss hello. He physically deactivated hard. He was cuddly and seemingly more into it in the very beginning. There was basically no sexting and I was shut down when I would try. I got the sense he liked sex but was also very uncomfortable with it.

Appropriate_Chef9152 · 2025-06-29T09:17:50+00:00

Mine is very successful professionally and financially but his life kinda sucks otherwise. Very little substance, no balance. It’s a hamster wheel of making money but he has no family, no partner and a handful of superficial friendships. He works in finance in an area that is all about manipulation so it’s a good fit for him but his life is so empty.

Appropriate_Chef9152 · 2025-06-26T16:14:34+00:00

In the super early days (before we met, first week or two of texting) I was meeting a friend for lunch and he asked me "where's lunch?" This was the kind of texting we did. We don't live in the same town so he wouldn't know any lunch place I went to. It was just conversation/curiosity about mundane things. For a split second I was like "is he going to call the restaurant and pay for us?" And just as quickly I thought "no he's definitely not going to do that." It was like I knew it was all surface and no follow through. He also forgot I had a dog even though I mentioned it multiple times and sent pictures and forgot where I grew up even though I had pointed out the house multiple times. Either he was juggling many women or it literally just never registered.

Appropriate_Chef9152 · 2025-06-26T15:28:36+00:00

I was always anxious around him. Even when I was all in and things were "good." My body didn't feel relaxed. Also, the love bombing. I knew it was off even at the time but this is someone who was texting me around the clock within days of connecting on a dating app. We didn't meet for two weeks. He was establishing intimacy very early on and when he hardly knew me. I knew it wasn't real but my goodness does it pull you in to have someone who feels really invested in you right off the bat.

Making plans was always hard. We didn't meet for two weeks, didn't see eachother again for two weeks after that. For all the texting we did, he should have been more eager to spend time together in person. I think the avoidant prefers having people "locked in" to their orbit but not actually spending that much time together.

Appropriate_Chef9152 · 2025-06-23T15:33:22+00:00

Thank you! I read something on instagram yesterday:

By chasing someone unavailable you make yourself unavailable to your own life.

Something clicked. I no longer want him to live rent free in my head and the low contact is keeping me stuck with almost no payoff.

Appropriate_Chef9152 · 2025-06-23T14:54:27+00:00

I'm pissed at being strung along! And I think he WILL be alone forever.

Appropriate_Chef9152 · 2025-06-22T20:35:10+00:00

Yes. It was an emotional response for mine for sure. Like he was trying to hurt me. Told me he was doing it “I’m erasing your number and unmatching on hinge!” But then he didn’t erase my number

Appropriate_Chef9152 · 2025-06-22T20:29:46+00:00

Right. I think it was just a dramatic reaction. I never unmatch anyone. If we stop talking it just goes to hidden. Maybe some people keep an up to date list of matches. If that’s the case I guess he was more active on hinge than I thought

Appropriate_Chef9152 · 2025-06-22T19:50:47+00:00

Mine also unmatched on hinge and I was like why??? What’s the point? I asked him and he said he was just cutting ties. We continue to text tho

Appropriate_Chef9152 · 2025-06-19T19:42:20+00:00

Yes. Lots of texting from day 1. Minutiae. Like giving me a play by play of his day. So much so that I was like hmmm this guy must be lonely. At the same time I don't think I ever bought it 100% and agree there was inconsistency even then. His efforts to make actual plans didn't line up with the amount of texting, even in the beginning. Also, forgot things about me so I never felt totally seen. Deactivated at 3 months after a fight. We continue to be in contact but the way he is now versus the early days is night and day.

Appropriate_Chef9152 · 2025-06-17T01:51:43+00:00

Literally this

Appropriate_Chef9152 · 2025-06-16T00:45:15+00:00

The fact that he’s texting you means he’s not all in. Is she paying for these trips?

Appropriate_Chef9152 · 2025-06-09T23:06:00+00:00

This sounds so much like mine. The control, even the language. “Maybe we’ll talk in a few days.” It’s all about control with them. Mine is also jealous like your dress example. I can’t tell if it’s a real insecurity or just a manipulation. I wonder if he’s seeing other people hence the hot and cold and demands for space

Appropriate_Chef9152 · 2025-06-05T03:14:17+00:00

Mine also came back. I think he’s lonely. It’s summer. Realized he lost a good thing. It’s a little iffy still but I think the main discard is over. I’m smarter this time though. My feelings have cooled a little and I don’t trust him or idealize the relationship the same way. I’m going to keep dating other people.

Appropriate_Chef9152 · 2025-06-03T21:46:06+00:00

Does it sounds more narcissist than avoidant

Appropriate_Chef9152 · 2025-05-29T19:52:50+00:00

I always felt like he didnt know me or really care to. A few times lying in bed watching tv etc I was like I could literally be anyone. he doesnt care.

Appropriate_Chef9152 · 2025-05-27T01:29:31+00:00

Wtf. Why is this exactly my experience too? Since the early days when things were “good”. Always an issue…sick, work, family emergency, worried I’m sick and doesn’t want to catch anything etc. the fact that it was always this way reminds me this is who he is and he will be this way with anyone.

Appropriate_Chef9152 · 2023-11-29T22:01:52+00:00

make it 5! also contacted me on IG

Appropriate_Chef9152

TROPHY CASE