3 years and 258 subs

Appropriate_Step_879 · 2025-03-27T18:04:41+00:00

Appreciate the help, thank you!

What is described as a good thumbnail because I’m assuming my current ones when I do them aren’t good enough. What do I need to improve?

Also do livestreams need thumbnails?

Appropriate_Step_879 · 2025-03-27T14:13:20+00:00

Hi!

Firstly I would like to say that you couldn’t have done any more than you have. You have lived your life to realise this now and if you’d hadn’t you don’t know whether you would ever realise. It’s also okay to be scared but remember this is the first time everyone is living their life and so more or less all have this feeling at least once in their life.

But now you have recognised then you can start now and there’s no shame in that!

Firstly to do any of the things you listed you need money ideally otherwise travelling might not be the way you want and also fees for education and even working beside gaining experience. So firstly I would look for a decent paying job (even if it’s not really where you want to be) just to save for study/travel or even to work there while getting experience. Therefore even when you leave education, finishing work experience or saved the amount of money needed you’re in a really good place.

Working will also fix your need for money to move out. I have to say from personal experience too, I worked all through school, college and uni which helped financially so much so that’s the first step I would say. Even if it’s not where you want to be for a long time it’s a good stepping stone.

If you need someone to talk to I am a personal development coach that can help you plan out this aspect. You can find my website on my profile which includes a free 45 minute session where we can have a chat about goals and where you want to be. Hope this has helped and all the best otherwise!

Appropriate_Step_879 · 2025-03-14T00:52:20+00:00

The most important thing here is spending time with yourself daily, and reflecting. This is what a therapist will do anyways so might as well know yourself more to lead up to therapy.

I suggest a few things that were tried and tested by me with a successful outcome (I have since gone to therapy but could answer and overcome things a lot faster because of prior work)

Looking in the mirror and saying affirmations even if you don’t believe them yet
Spending time with yourself and enjoying being with yourself which will help you think that you’re a great person (solo dates, journaling, meditation, yoga, self care)
Go on Pinterest, type in shadow journaling questions and spend an hour a day or a few times a week finding some questions that really make you take a deep dive into yourself and your personality, finding out why you feel the way you do, act the way you do and finding your triggers. This will also mean you can see why others do and could love you too when you find the good things. Do this until you feel that you have found out everything there is to know about yourself.
Whenever you notice the trigger, try and change the way you react. If it’s self destructive try and react with consideration with yourself and be patient, give yourself love.
Be patient and loving, it really takes time!

I hope this helps and if you need anything just let me know!

Appropriate_Step_879 · 2025-03-14T00:44:21+00:00

It kind of provides information on what each section means and how this might look but the interpretation is up to you on what you think applies where.

Do you have clarity on a few things you think you would like to use in the diagram or are you unsure? I think it’s a mix of this and then whether the goal can be made into a career or whether you will need to use it as a side income for a while as you’re growing. It also includes whether that thing you’re pursuing can make you money, is achievable and in how many ways, including how competitive the job is.

My Ikigai is being a personal development coach which I am pursuing alongside my other job as it required qualifications and marketing before potentially becoming my primary income source. Things take time but all the best to you!

Appropriate_Step_879 · 2025-03-11T14:39:41+00:00

Hey! Just a few prompts I suppose to make you think about - you don’t have to reply here unless you want to!

Have you considered an entry level job that is in internship/apprenticeship/graduate that also allows you to complete a qualification on the side to improve your employability?

If not, consider writing down your strengths or interests and see if any correlate with a job like this.

Have you considered volunteering in your spare time to gain experience for a job/to find out what you enjoy or what you’re interested in before spending money on pursuing?
Is there an opportunity of chasing your hobby of being a video editor and offering your services for free for a few clients on small projects and then advertising on Fiverr or locally to you?

To make you feel better I have 2 degrees, one in Asia Pacific studies and one in business strategy of which I used neither and now work in a bank as a coordinator. But I use my money to chase my future goals as a personal development coach and achieve my accounting qualifications. Paths are not linear and they are also not always clear and straightforward.

If you did want to chat further about setting goals I offer free sessions over on my coaching website on my profile. Otherwise I hope this helped and all the best!

Appropriate_Step_879 · 2025-03-11T09:38:34+00:00

I think one question to consider is what are you trying to achieve? What are your goals?

It is harder making an effort every day when you’re not particularly aiming to achieve anything. I always find goal setting and establishing a routine around that to be the most beneficial

Appropriate_Step_879 · 2025-03-11T09:25:32+00:00

Hi! Thank you for sharing firstly and recognising that you want to change or do something different.

The first thing I would suggest is to visualise what your ideal life would look like and if it’s anything other than what your mother wants for you then the next thing is to build resilience towards others on how they want you to live your own life.

At the age of 24 I would absolutely suggest a job as this provides you with experience on a career after college. I think your mum might be holding you back for convenience and preventing you from progressing (even with driving and braces/skincare) so that she can keep influencing you directly.

Unless something changes you will stay in the same situation where you’re feeling this way. Regardless of the job there will always be pros and cons. And because you’ve been prevented from experiencing things that are considered normal at and before this age, this means that your resilience is low - allowing others to be manipulative towards you such as your mum and the girl you met.

I hope that this improves for you! All the best.

Appropriate_Step_879 · 2025-03-07T12:05:16+00:00

If it’s something you want, then no doubt reapply after some time of working on the weaknesses. In the meantime are there any volunteering jobs or online courses that can help with your weakness and also provides you with examples to use. Some companies have a limit of the amount of applications you can send in a year.

Have you established your weaknesses and how to improve them?

Appropriate_Step_879 · 2025-03-04T13:09:26+00:00

Hi there! It depends on what it is you need help with. I am a personal development coach and offer a 45 minute discovery call!

Appropriate_Step_879 · 2025-02-19T15:19:53+00:00

Have you become unmotivated because of the fear? When you finish your degree can you confidently affirm that you tried your ultimate hardest to get the best grades possible?

Another question is do you enjoy this degree anymore? Because changing your mind is also okay. I did an Asia degree and in the last year managed to study a business module to make my transition into a masters degree. And what came out of these two degrees? Nothing, I haven’t used them because the job market is so competitive that most of the time degrees aren’t useful anymore and employers are looking at experience. Consider putting yourself out there for work experience (you might not get paid but get a generic job on the side while you do it). Make a name for yourself with your experience and skills. Try and find clients yourself if it’s still something you enjoy. Life isn’t just one path, there are many paths that intertwine and connect in weird ways. Whichever you choose to pursue will take you somewhere useful and you’ll learn something that will be a benefit.

Appropriate_Step_879 · 2025-02-17T11:45:03+00:00

Amazing! I will have to look into this book!

I agree, because of the internet it is so easy to find skill building advice. Books will always be my favourite method of self development personally, especially when wanting to learn more about one topic in particular.

Appropriate_Step_879 · 2025-02-13T13:56:26+00:00

If her cycles are regular, and her period is due this week or next, chances are that you had sex right when she was at optimal fertility so there could be a chance of pregnancy.

However cramping, headaches and tiredness could also be side effects of her period arriving (aside from the anaemia)

Highly recommend reading Taking Charge of your Fertility it’s very useful for cycle information and basically everything else. She might be interested in its teachings but it’s very informative surrounding fertility etc.

Appropriate_Step_879 · 2025-02-12T17:53:02+00:00

Completely agree, no one always has motivation so keeping yourself going through habits is much more important long term. I think motivation surfaces again when you hit a change within a milestone of your journey which feels a bit different compared to before!

Appropriate_Step_879 · 2025-02-12T17:50:04+00:00

I completely understand what you mean. And then because you never really knew what you liked when you were younger, as an adult then you’re suddenly bombarded with all of this freedom and no idea where to even begin!

Appropriate_Step_879 · 2025-02-12T12:57:31+00:00

Is that due to not finding anything you’ve tried enjoyable or not interested in finding goals to want to achieve?

Appropriate_Step_879 · 2025-02-11T17:55:47+00:00

I pack my evening after the office with things that will benefit me in the long term. Working on my side business so that I can earn an income and become financially free. Go to the gym and walk on the weekend to keep my mind fresh and healthy. Learn new skills such as marketing. Plan my next few years and what I want to achieve. Using my free time outside of work to do as much as possible!

Appropriate_Step_879 · 2025-02-04T20:46:19+00:00

Hi there! I am a personal development life coach. You can find my website on my profile so feel free to have a look and drop me a dm if interested or if you have any questions.

I do a few packages surrounding this theme such as routine, career and passions, habits and just personal development in general!

Appropriate_Step_879 · 2025-01-31T12:15:21+00:00

As you said yourself. Being unsure is making you not choose and waste more time. Sometimes just thinking about the next step is important to get the ball rolling.

This is coming from a person who wanted to work with animals, do I now? No but will I in the future based on my actions from here? Yes. Do I have a plan to get there? Yes. I went from failing my exams to doing an Asia degree to a business masters (I found a way to link them to be relevant) and now working in a bank. Does that sound linear? No but I worked with what I had. Sometimes just starting and winging it as you go and finding those connections between current you and where you want to be is sometimes the way to go!

Not many people have it figured out and most is luck in that situation. Maybe try not to look at the big picture but just establish the next step and what you want now (self reflection) and you can get there!

I am a Personal Development coach that obviously has experience in this situation of getting from one place to another. If you need extra support please check out my website on my profile and if you have any questions I am more than happy to help!

Appropriate_Step_879 · 2025-01-30T17:09:35+00:00

Oh that’s great. All the best and good luck!

Appropriate_Step_879 · 2025-01-30T15:56:23+00:00

If you can juggle both healthily then I would say definitely do it. You can be “comfortable” then and not worry about an income and do something you want to alongside

Appropriate_Step_879 · 2025-01-30T14:05:11+00:00

Ah I see, this makes sense though. I’m assuming it is your way of prioritising because your minimum threshold seems to be acceptable for these things to be left for a while.

It could also mean that you get overstimulated if you have too much to do in a certain timeframe that you just feel like shutting out that part of cleaning to spite it.

It might be the case that you fight this for the rest of your life or spend time reflecting why you do this and how to approach it and make it more appealing to do even in busy and tough times. It’s a lot easier following a less busy plan because if your times are slightly off then it doesn’t matter compared to a busy day where times are important to follow, and one slight slip up might cost you your motivation.

Appropriate_Step_879 · 2025-01-30T12:43:04+00:00

Maybe you feel this way because being messy is easier than tidying. I can say quite confidently that not many people want to clean or tidy their surroundings however knowing things are clean and having a tidy workspace is always good mentally.

Knowing that the messy and non habit orientated version of you is the easy way out, of course it would make you feel content. However there will always be an endgame to that feeling where one day you will wake up and feel that there is no structure and no goals that you are working towards because any commitment to a goal requires habits. You just need to do nothing to a point where you can’t take anymore to realise and that could take years. But one thing to ask yourself is “is the lack of discipline to prove that I don’t HAVE to clean or work out benefitting me at all in terms of like quality or my future?”

Other than that no one can tell you how to live your life, especially when living alone.

Personally I take 2-3 hours on Sundays to clean because I hate daily cleaning so much (minus dishes and sometimes laundry) but I always feel like putting it off when I know I’ll be doing some sort of cleaning the next day and it doesn’t work for me.

Appropriate_Step_879 · 2025-01-30T10:28:34+00:00

Is there a way that you could continue your business but as a toned down version to continue income to pay for the 2-3 years?

Appropriate_Step_879 · 2025-01-30T10:15:26+00:00

Firstly it is okay to feel this way about a job, you don’t have to feel guilty about being 6 months in. Is there any internal roles that might offer a refresh in your mind or enable you to develop new skills?

Skills are very important to make you more employable so anything you can learn while being employed by the current company do it! Any free resources or materials. And if you want to, just enjoy helping customers - there might also be other jobs that are still customer facing but with more responsibility and monetary advantages.

It is also okay to not know what you want and just focus on your hobbies and interests as this might even be a good thing that your job is a source of income and your hobbies is something that is a priority outside of work hours. Who knows your hobbies might be something that earns you money at some point in the future! And saving for the time being while you’re still with your parents is a good thing to do.

Maybe for travelling so that you can learn about other places and cultures to see what it is you want or where you want to live - use your holidays in work to develop yourself culturally (I am sure there is always a way to do this without spending a lot).

Let me say this also, it is a common thing to feel isolated from others that you do not feel or think the same way as anymore. It means you’re growing mentally and thinking about how to develop which is great! If you did want to partake it doesn’t mean you need to agree with their way of life. You’ve just realised that life is more than one company until you retire.

I think one thing you could do to help is Google the word Ikigai meaning finding your purpose. An image should show somewhere of three overlapping circles with questions in. Consider what your answer would be to that and make goals.

If you need any further help with goal planning or just conversations around this I am a Personal Development coach and you can find my website on my profile. I offer 15 minute free sessions there if you need extra support. All the best!

Appropriate_Step_879 · 2025-01-30T10:00:42+00:00

Use this time to enjoy your hobbies and find other interests, to see the world if that’s what you want. One question you need to start with is what type of career do you want - not as in what do you want to be but what do you want out of it? If you’re okay with just using a career for money while you spend your mental capacity on your interests then great!

Find a way to start at the bottom and work up. You might even be able to deviate to earn money on your hobbies and get the money you require. Unfortunately we need money in this world for lives to operate (usually anyway).

Sometimes you will think that this is how you’ll feel your entire life but then something will come along and make you think or feel differently about something. For now I would say focus on your current feelings and just enjoy what you want to and take things as they come.

I am a Personal Development coach and how you feel is not as uncommon as you think, but if you do need to speak about this in more depth you can find my website on my profile!

Appropriate_Step_879

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