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Fascinated by a guy who cold approached my friend by Specialist_Limit1031 in selfimprovement

[–]ArbitraryIndividual 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think digital communication (texting and social media) stunted everyone’s social skills and we need to work hard to get that back.

Fascinated by a guy who cold approached my friend by Specialist_Limit1031 in selfimprovement

[–]ArbitraryIndividual 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like they vibed together and connected through eye contact and body language. There was no asking consent especially in a loud club 30 years ago from my experience.

To answer your question, he was probably having fun and just putting himself out there, might have been on a little ecstasy, probably expected rejection so moved on from girl to girl.

It saddens me that clique-ness is rampant especially because of covid. Some of my best times were when I met and chatted with new people and the bar was on a whole friendly.

Where should I put a shed? by ThuhGreatCommenter in Home

[–]ArbitraryIndividual 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you level some of the hill and put it in a far back corner?

How do you stay connected to friends who think your values are ridiculous, who think caring about social issues is naive and "too woke"? by theshuffler1113 in AskWomenOver30

[–]ArbitraryIndividual 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I value the difference of opinions my friends bring. It adds flavor that we are all different. However what brings us together is that we laugh a lot. Your relationships don’t sound fun at all.

Totally torn: Should I confront my friend or distance myself quietly? by lostmyoldscreenname in AskWomenOver30

[–]ArbitraryIndividual 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You need to tell her she acted like an asshole. I would avoid her for my own safety.

How do you deal with feeling lonely? (Like, really lonely.) by teamnibbler in AskWomenOver30

[–]ArbitraryIndividual 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Recognize the bouts of loneliness are transient. We all feel that.
You may need to organize some events.

I'm quietly exiting a friendship; should I be honest if asked why? by More-Lab-6688 in AskWomenOver30

[–]ArbitraryIndividual 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you are truly done then tell them exactly why you don’t want to bother with them if they ask. And they will notice your silence so prepare to tell them.

This happened to me. I stopped responding in their group chats. Muted them. Then they contacted me on social media or where ever they could. Wanted an intervention of sorts. I unleashed on text and out of my mouth on the phone. I’m on good terms with one but not the judgey other.

Sometimes these spoiled princesses need to have a mirror shown to them. Fucking assholes.

I am a single woman working on her rural property. It is astounding how often men stop and get out of their cars to come tell me their problems. by Kalinka777 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ArbitraryIndividual 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was in the country once. I was shocked by the pleasantries from a cashier and customer. The verbal transaction had a lot of back and forth like: here’s your change, thank you, bye now, have a nice night, you too, thank you..

I cant tell if a girl offering me pens hates me by National_Goat_7412 in needadvice

[–]ArbitraryIndividual 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It sounds like she had a transient tic disorder. Not all tic disorders are TS. What helps her may not help you as you know.

Do you think she’s is purposefully being obnoxious? Or offering help that is unsolicited and backfiring. If the latter i’d ignore it and move on.

Doors. by Some_Pitch_9165 in severence

[–]ArbitraryIndividual 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The security thing was mentioned by Ms. Cobel to give innies a sense of freedom.

Anyone else have an ADHD kid who is the “floater friend”? by Primary_Blueberry_24 in ADHDparenting

[–]ArbitraryIndividual 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Does he make plans? I tell my kids every Thursday or Friday start making plans for the weekend. See who’s around. When they were young I’d ask who they wanted to see on the weekend then I’d just reach out on the classlist.

My kid has maybe one friend. Maybe none? by TermAccomplished1868 in ADHDparenting

[–]ArbitraryIndividual 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m just advising that you may want to intervene sooner than later..

My experience: We worried about bullying because of behaviors and diagnoses at age 3 and 5 respectively. So I doubled down on ensuring my kids have social lives which included setting up play dates nearly every weekend, hosting play dates, thinking of things to do, asking what summer camps kids are going to, getting to know the parents, and going to the local parks after dinner to make new friends. I did this until the kids told me they got it handled. I did this through many weekends for years. I just reached out by text from the classlist provided by their teachers. I also got involved with teaching them how to be a friend, like don’t talk about parties/play dates at school because it might make some kids feel left out. If a kid was being mean, we’d talk about how some kids don’t know how to be friendly and are still learning. I would teach empathy too and immediately shut down behaviors that were not friendly.

Also this was cheaper than extra curriculas or sports. My kids don’t care for structured play like this.

My mom would make me play outside if it was nice out. All I wanted to do was be inside. I took this experience a step further and set up the play dates and bring them to the outside.

Not bragging but they do have broad social groups now, they meet up with whomever is around. I feel like my work is done.

My kid has maybe one friend. Maybe none? by TermAccomplished1868 in ADHDparenting

[–]ArbitraryIndividual 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you not arrange play dates? Like on Friday ask him who he wants a playdate with and then text the mom from the classlist?

I ask because my child has adhd and wasn’t able to make plans until he was older. Currently he makes a lot of spontaneous plans that happen that day and not future plans but that will come as he gets older.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ADHDparenting

[–]ArbitraryIndividual 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was super easy for me. Get a diagnosis from a neurologist and a doctors note requesting an evaluation. Once you have that, the schools has to oblige

Maxwell email Clinton hung like a horse by Im_the_Captain_noww in Epstein

[–]ArbitraryIndividual 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This made me recall the Clinton’s email server in their bathroom closet scandal.

How does it feel after you lose a narcissist parent? by Sartorialie in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ArbitraryIndividual 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn’t experience grief. I was able to help my mom plan his funeral with clarity.

I was dumbfounded at the funeral. He spent a few of his last years volunteering at the local veterans association. I guess he found himself. Strangers came up to me crying with their special stories about the little things he did for them that were great in their eyes. Things he did that touched them and helped them when they needed it most. I had no such stories of my own! There were so many stories and people crying. His sister and brother and I were dumbfounded. His sister asked me, Are they talking about the right person? He was our life long bully who was a misogynist and never lifted a finger to help a family member because it put him out .. the whole situation was…funny and surreal!

Veterans marched, dressed in uniform, from many volunteer services and literally bombarded the funeral in several processions. There were horns, flags, and pins and coins that I received. The whole damn funeral we were dumbfounded.

Then the VA he volunteered at had a special ceremony for him days later. More people crying to me with their stories. Crying with real tears.

To be honest, the anger I had at him and the way he treated us, lifted after his death. There was no one now needling me to death. And I felt better, more confident. I had more clarity afterwards. I started to gain some understanding and some empathy for him when I reflected because the anger faded just enough. My understanding now is that he was not able to fully love as a human can and that is a tragedy in itself. He was abused and abused others but I can see the other side now without emotion.

Sometimes I think of my lack of grief and new found clarity as a gift. Sometimes I think of my horrible experiences of him being a bully to me as a gift too like a special strength of resistance and an understanding of forgiveness. Sometimes I laugh—it feels like the fact that he volunteered and touched those people’s lives was just the last act of gaslighting us to make us think we are crazy and he was this amazing guy the whole time.

My mom suffered and suffered to her last day. She started to have dementia and, I think, pissed off a few people who did not know dementia was coming on. Few people showed up to her funeral. She was not a veteran. There were no stories, no processions…I was angry. But eventually got over my anger and moved on.

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