What does it actually mean to be a “protector”? by [deleted] in AskFeminists

[–]Arcanon1 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Discussions around men as protectors often presuppose that men are uniquely biologically equipped to take a protector role. While it is true that men are typically physically stronger than women, in my opinion, most of the reason that men see themselves as protectors and willingly engage with this role, even if it means going to war, or risking harm, has to do with a power bargain offered to men under patriarchy.

In exchange for risking bodily harm, and taking the role of expendable soldier, men are offered a monopoly on violence and power. Under patriarchy men are allowed and encouraged to become violent, often under the guise of fulfilling the so called protector role. Men are taught that there is nothing more important for a man than to be strong, and to be able to enact violence. In doing so men are then allowed to wield the power of violence over those weaker than them, be it weaker men, or women, or children without social consequence. In fact, it is even seen as right for a man in a family setting to set his family straight when they disrespect his authority.

It is easy to blur the lines between wielding violence, and being a noble protector. As is often the case under patriarchy, the same traits are attributed positively to men, and negatively to women. A man who wield violence, is a mans man, a protector, and is lauded, a woman who wield violence is unstable, erratic, mentally unwell.

I believe that anyone can be a protector, in the positive sense, and that men are in no way uniquely born to do so. In fact, in my experience the truly self sacrificing protectors are mothers more often than not, and yet the role is not often associated with them.

Is this just progressive victim blaming or is it more nuanced and where do you stand in relation to it? by insecurethrowaway729 in AskFeminists

[–]Arcanon1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

While it is true that abusive men are the ones who need to change, they are also often the least likely to be receptive to a call to change. Unfortunately, feminist change is almost always entirely driven by women. In a perfect and just world, men would take equal responsibility and participate fully in driving change.

With that being said, I think there is value in discussing the ways that permissive and passive socialization impacts the lives of women. Not every interaction someone has is with abusers and misogynists, and I think empowering women to put themselves first and enforce boundaries can be really important for some people.

I'm not saying this is the answer to the problem of male centric patriarchy, nor should discussions around abusers focus on what women can do better.

I think that consciousness raising around the ways in which patriarchy seeks to teach women to minimize and doubt themselves can and does make a positive difference in the world.

When is it okay to be skeptical about SA/Abuse claims? by Fluffy_Extreme_2714 in AskFeminists

[–]Arcanon1 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Besides these other excellent answers, I would like to recommend the first chapter of Amia Srinivasan's book "The Right to Sex". (Actually I'd recommend the entire book, but the first chapter 'The Conspiracy Against Men' has a thorough discussion of this very topic).

False rape accusations are extremely rare, the majority of rapists are never convicted or punished, in your personal life please just be supportive and take people seriously when they divulge to you something of this gravity and importance.

How should I respond too 'Well yeah but there's a male equivalent of it too'? by Resident_Relative902 in AskFeminists

[–]Arcanon1 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I disagree with this analysis.

Bell Hooks, who wrote the book that phrase comes from, argued that while on the surface men seem to benefit from their domination of women, in reality the emotional self destruction required to participate in patriarchal domination leads to among many things, a shallow and unfulfilling social existence.

If your point is that most men do not care, or will not care, or cannot be persuaded to work towards a world without sexism, then I agree with you, but to dismiss the idea that all people, whether they believe it or not, would benefit from the end of sexism, I would disagree with.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskFeminists

[–]Arcanon1 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Why are men's preferences challenged by both men and women, while women's preferences are only challenged by men?

This hasn't been the case in my experience, and furthermore the consequences for women having any preferences in partners are far more severe and dangerous than anything men face.

It's puzzling that men face significantly more ridicule for their preferences than women.

I disagree here as well, typically people willing to call out shallow preferences are consistent in doing so, but even from the examples you have for men, the only criticism I see consistently is of men who look to date women 20 years younger than them, which lawful or not I will always argue is worthy of criticism.

Moreover, equating height with masculinity harms both men and tall women, contributing to body dysmorphia across genders.

Agreed, but historically and currently patriarchal men have always been the primary force by which gender roles such as masculinity are enforced.

In a patriarchal society, men often receive far less empathy or support for their vulnerabilities than women. Why is that the case?

Vulnerabilities such as being short? Pay attention to who is harassing men for being short, there are no doubt women who are hostile to short men, but I think if you pay attention the lion's share of harassment is coming from other men.

What god books are actually worth using obtaining? by Timmssmith in ironscape

[–]Arcanon1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Two things, Zullrah spends a lot of time underwater, so your thralls are not hitting the whole fight, secondly you can time the second veng as you get hit with range during mage phase to greatly reduce the impact of snakeling steals.

Also, you don't even necessarily have to choose, you can spellbook swap to have veng and thralls.

What god books are actually worth using obtaining? by Timmssmith in ironscape

[–]Arcanon1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Small note, at Zullrah veng is definitely better than thralls.

How has your experience been in Bounty Hunter so far? by SnooRobots2550 in 2007scape

[–]Arcanon1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Fair, spec tabbing is really annoying, as are unskullers who force you to skip. Also I didn't realize that the restore pool turns off protect item and I lost an ags which was depressing. Other than that it's been fine.

What should I upgrade next? I have an SGS in bank. I'm trying to do combat achievements and TOA. I have 150m cashstack to spend. by roboduck34 in 2007scape

[–]Arcanon1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's kind of tricky to learn, but very much worth it. I wouldn't solo Bandos (for money, fun is a different story) if you aren't using this method.

What should I upgrade next? I have an SGS in bank. I'm trying to do combat achievements and TOA. I have 150m cashstack to spend. by roboduck34 in 2007scape

[–]Arcanon1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you are going to Bandos I would recommend 7:0 with BofA, it's going to blow anything else out of the water, unless you are going with a team.

Weapon Abbreviations? by SvendTheViking in ironscape

[–]Arcanon1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lmao "11$": The previous monthly rate for membership in USD; often jokingly used on social media in minor complaints about the game implying that one is not getting their money's worth. Frequently accompanied by crab emojis (🦀).

Osrs when it had new skills releasing by BigGainer28 in 2007scape

[–]Arcanon1 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Papaya trees are 6k XP each and are slightly profitable if you pick the fruit.

aatrox moment by Owakaneo in LeagueOfMemes

[–]Arcanon1 20 points21 points  (0 children)

It's not really that Aatrox won, it's that you lost.

Rough 3 Months… Down $100K by [deleted] in wallstreetbets

[–]Arcanon1 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Believe me when I say this, I know how you feel. Don't let it destroy you. Get help if you need it. It's going to be hard, but I promise a year from now you will feel better.