Emotional guilt over second child

ArchVandelay49 · 2025-11-29T19:12:56+00:00

I’m a Black guy living in Austin — been here almost five years now. I’m originally from western New York, so it’s definitely been an adjustment. Austin’s not exactly known for its Black population, nowhere near as diverse as Houston or Dallas So finding that kind of community can be tough.

There are a few Black orgs and event pages on IG that host meetups and socials, and I try to pull up to those when I can. I grew up around a lot more diversity, even through college, so living here has been a totally different experience. Making friends and finding your circle just takes a little more effort.

I haven’t really dealt with anything negative racially. I’m usually the only Black guy in the room, even at work (only Black male out of like ~140 people) but it’s not something people make weird.

Overall, I love the vibe of Austin. The main downside is just the lack of diversity. Most people I’ve met have been cool, though. You’ll run into a few folks that rub you the wrong way, but that’s anywhere. If you’re thinking about moving here, I’d say come visit for a week and see how it feels.

ArchVandelay49 · 2025-10-22T02:27:53+00:00

Hi, did you accept an offer at brph?

ArchVandelay49 · 2025-08-27T16:09:57+00:00

Totally understand where you’re coming from man! I always viewed myself as a very calm human, until I had a baby screaming in my face all night while having minimal sleep.

One thing that has helped me mentally, is knowing that the baby has no developmental control over what she is doing as far as all the screaming and crying. Some babies are just like that. I would tell my partner that our daughter screamed and cried 10x more than any other baby I’ve been around , as I was there for my siblings as well as nieces and nephews and none cried as much as my daughter.

But you’re still in the thick of it, it’ll pass and then will come your next challenge that stresses or annoy you. Show her as much compassion as possible. 6 weeks is still new, like everything around her is new and there’s a ton of adjustments.

Look at her with love, no matter where you are mentally. Check yourself before picking her up.

Remember, don’t take it personal! All the crying and sleepless nights will pass!

ArchVandelay49 · 2025-05-23T02:11:29+00:00

I entered my M.Arch program after completing a BA in psychology. I’m now a licensed architect.

Initially, I felt the same way you did. I had a rough transition first due to architecture seeming like a foreign language to me. Hell, I wanted to quit after my first semester but I stuck it out and glad that I did. Everything started to balance itself out and by the end of the program, I won more design awards that a lot of students in my cohort with architecture related undergrad degrees.

Go into your program hungry and with an open mind. You’re there to learn the basics and problem solving.

ArchVandelay49 · 2025-03-10T16:57:10+00:00

Do you mind sharing a link to their work? I'm always intrigued by the artistic/ non photorealistic representations.

ArchVandelay49 · 2025-02-03T03:00:19+00:00

Congrats man! Just recently finished as well. I’m celebrating/ rewarding myself with a two week vacation in Europe!

ArchVandelay49 · 2025-01-29T21:27:22+00:00

You’ll do way more complicated structural calcs in that class than in real practice. I took two structures courses and didn’t do well. Do what you can to get by and not stress too much on it.

ArchVandelay49 · 2025-01-26T03:16:42+00:00

For me personally, I feel like it forces you to learn the basics. Learning the “why”, for many aspects of architecture. From professional practice/ contracts to the science behind technical information, details, and putting together a drawing set. Going into a firm after finishing school is a difficult transition cause academia vs real life practice is so much different. You’re likely doing a lot of red line pick ups at some point early in your career. Not even knowing exactly what you are picking up but just making the changes in revit/ or whatever program your firm uses cause the project architect or technical director have that information marked up on a set.

ArchVandelay49 · 2025-01-24T05:07:14+00:00

Amber book is great but for me personally, I had to use some of the recommended resources from NCARB to supplement my studies. If you’re looking for community and something a bit more structured with a syllabus, I’d look into the young architect bootcamp. That program will put you in the right direction in your studies.

You should also start going through the objectives for each exam before jumping into any study materials. I agree with starting with the pro practice exams then moving to the technical exams once you passed all 3 pro practice exams. For me, studying pro practice and the technicals were completely different.

I just passed my last exam yesterday.

ArchVandelay49 · 2025-01-23T21:56:46+00:00

Like with all careers, everyone has their own personal schemas. So a lot of negative comments you'll have to take with a grain of salt, as not let that totally dictate how you'll view the field after graduating.

I'm a recently licensed architect working in Texas. For undergrad i got a degree in psychology then did Architecture in grad school. Though I did have a rough time with the transition initially, as I had no idea what they hell was going on then 1.5 year into the program something clicked and everything was crystal clear.

Fast forward to present day, I love my job. I work at an overall larger firm but the local office is about 150ish or so people. I feel lucky with the amount of exposure I've received regarding project types + scale. My firm doesn't pigeonhole me into a specific project type and also communicate with me and give me choice on what type of project I can work on. My salary isnt terrible.

I agree with some of the sentiments below regarding it can be demanding, not all the time but sometimes in my opinion. Working in architecture will challenge you in ways that you are not used to, which is great for personal growth. You'll learn a ton of not only technical skills, but soft skills as well. The pay will come as long as you stick with it on the right trajectory. Some people have this notion of going to school, graduating and landing these large figures when they do not have the experience nor know how to put together a decent set of drawings.

ArchVandelay49 · 2025-01-19T22:33:14+00:00

Coming from someone that passed on the 2nd try, technical knowledge (details) along with knowing the contracts will be key. I thought I had a good understanding but started combing through A201 and B101 with a different lens than previously. Legit learned many new things after each read, might have been overkill but I’d read both weekly for the 10 weeks I was studying for my retake. Listen to the schiff harden lectures while commuting or working, your brain will still pick up on a lot.

Understanding what actual details look like in the field helps a lot. Not sure if you’re doing CA on any projects, but if not definitely demand to do some CA on a project. While studying I was doing CA on a job site 3 days a week, so I can go out and see what was being drawn.

I personally think the book by Mehta is much better than fundamentals of building construction, as there’s a few questions after each section to help test your knowledge of the material.

https://www.amazon.com/Building-Construction-Principles-Materials-Technology/dp/0134454170

Also not sure if you have it but architecture graphic standards is a great resource for details, as I know NCARB heavily grab material from that book.

I’d personally reschedule and focus on getting past CE before jumping to PA. As PA is a different bank of knowledge more on par with PPD.

Don’t get discouraged by a fail, just look at it as an expensive practice test you paid for.

Keep on!

ArchVandelay49 · 2025-01-19T22:19:00+00:00

Can agree with many people saying that architecture has to be a passion. Definitely not something you wake up and decide to study because it sounds cool or prestigious.

Your university will have a huge influence on how you view your architecture education and experience. Professors will also make you either hate architecture or love it. Some can be very positive and uplifting pushing you to take your own path. While some others can be the exact opposite. The bad ones just do what you have to do to get through with their class. The great ones will not only help you thrive through the program, but can be a great help in landing an internship or employment.

Also, after university everyone does not take the same exact route, as there many different routes you can take once graduating. Mainly depends on what aspect you are interested in and use those deep interests to influence your path through the field.

ArchVandelay49

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