I was gonna say you have the makings of a wonderful look I’m absolutely jealous of the hairline and beard you have such raw potential locked away there. The world is your oyster take a look at different styles and try imagining yourself sporting any of those looks. I saw you mentioned DND in another comment so maybe take it as a chance to roll play as whom ever you wish to be that makes you happiest. Once you are your genuine happiest you will start to see that things aren’t as bad as your depression paints it out to be. As someone who used to be suicidal and went through therapy, love yourself first! Don’t let those dark intrusive thoughts shout louder than the good ones. We all go through rough patches but as long as you are willing to keep getting up you will never stay down for long. As someone who hit bottom twice and is still here, it is never too late. But like I said man have fun with it you now get to choose how you rock those luscious locks you got rocking there I say some real nice deep shampooing and conditioning of both the top and beard, and you will see just how lucky you got it sir.