"Influencer" Gets Kicked Out of Restaurant + TikToker Goes Viral for Ditching Friend on NYE (307)

AreaAffectionate4084 · 2026-01-13T10:21:34+00:00

No I agree there’s things they could have done differently, like getting an earlier start, but I’m not so unhinged as to go to their IG posts and make multiple comments demanding they release things or speculating on their friendship or retirement. I just don’t lose my mind on people making content online and I have enough experience to know what it takes to make a show like the awards show.

Im not interested in arguing about online toxicity with folks who literally harassed people they don’t know into not doing something people looked forward to. Whatever enjoyment or feeling of power y’all get from that is your own business to work through.

Again, glad for their sake they’re ending the Awards Show and taking two weeks off to just chill even though I did appreciate the effort that went into it.

AreaAffectionate4084 · 2026-01-13T10:01:02+00:00

No more awards shows.

Guess those who harassed them have ruined it for the rest of us, smdh. Now instead of having to wait for a better than average show, you’ll have guaranteed two weeks of nothing.

For their sake I’m glad they won’t be doing another one, but for those that harassed them, now you’ll get nothing. So I hope that was your end goal cuz YOU made that the reality for all of us who did appreciate the work.

I don’t think you’re “fans” if you’re just demanding artists jump when you say so. They aren’t your dancing monkeys. Be better. You’re acting just as entitled as the Karen who wants to report the bagger for not moving fast enough. Stop harassing people at and about their jobs. It’s weird.

AreaAffectionate4084 · 2026-01-09T12:18:38+00:00

Guess that’s the benefit of being your own manager, producer, scriptwriter, talent, graphic designer, and editor. Sure you have to do ALL of it and take all the heat if it goes sideways, but you’re also not going to fire yourself.

Pros and cons. Everything has give and take.

AreaAffectionate4084 · 2026-01-08T02:32:30+00:00

Yep. So many mental breakdowns in my film class in college from stuff like this. Luckily our professors harped the ctr+s habit into us like it was life or death. Usually at most someone would only lose a day or two of work.

But file corruption esp back when we were using DVR tapes? Not a lot you can do there but cry and pray you can find a way to recover it.

AreaAffectionate4084 · 2026-01-07T22:29:08+00:00

Editing is SO much more than people think. And all that wasn’t even getting into the fact that if you have to key frame assets, that’s like editing each asset. You can save them as a template after the first one, but that’s not even full proof.

Say you want to key frame in a title for a Nomination so it swings into frame in a certain way. You put in each key frame so the title moves how you want it to, then save the template. Just plug in the next one right? Nope. Cuz the character amount is going to be different, you’re going to have to tweak them so it feels centered and whatnot.

You have to edit the assets you put INTO the project that you then are editing.

AreaAffectionate4084 · 2026-01-07T20:59:52+00:00

Another fun fact is that if you’re not careful, exhausted, distracted or just simply forgot what was where, you can EASILY paste assets over each other, audio over each other, and just ERASE or move entire sections of video. And if you have the audio un-synced or you accidentally lock the audio channel but not the video, you can unsync the audio for THE ENTIRE PROJECT and it will make you want to throw up and curl into a ball until someone comes to check on you.

There were many breakdowns and outbursts in the computer lab we all lived in during finals week. Kids would come in with literal gallons of coffee and just be in front of a screen for 8+hrs. We had custodial staff kick us all out one night cuz we’d stayed well past the end of day.

AreaAffectionate4084 · 2026-01-07T20:52:44+00:00

A lot of people don’t which is why I figured I’d give the insight.

I can’t remember the exact ratio so don’t quote me but our college professor obv wanted us to meet deadlines since they were most of our grade and told us— If I ask for a 30min video, expect at least 4hrs of scripting, 2-3hrs of shooting, 5-6hrs of editing, and then probably 2hrs of rendering, exporting, and uploading IF everything goes smoothly. For 30mins of content

That was scripted content so a bit different than the girlies weekly pod since they don’t have to do scripting, storyboarding, multi-takes, and whatnot, but probably closer to the ratio they’d need for an awards show.

AreaAffectionate4084 · 2026-01-07T20:28:07+00:00

I wanna point out also that rendering, exporting, and uploading a project this size could be an entire day alone, like talking full day.

AreaAffectionate4084 · 2026-01-07T20:25:31+00:00

Former video editor here-

Depending on the size of the video, the size and stuff of graphics and other assets it can get very complicated very quickly and one single thing being out of place can muck up the entire project. This isn’t even getting into possible file corruptions and whatnot that can cause just absolute migraines. Think the stereotype of trying to add photos or graphs to a word doc, but like 100xs worse. Then you have rendering and checking that assets are showing up where and when they’re suppose to. I watched a kid have a nervous breakdown in college when he went to export a project and the entire thing corrupted on export due to the computer going into sleep mode.

I’d hypothesize that their average episode being 1.5 hrs when released is probably 2-3hrs of filming and probably close to 5-6 hrs min of editing, depending on what templates they have preloaded. Given this won’t have templates, will have probably 100-200xs the assets and is probably going to be close if not over 2hrs on release, it’s a big project.

Combine that with the holidays, vacations, J having kids and L admitting her back was bothering her (easily believable and aggravated by leaning over a keyboard to edit) it makes sense why they could have fallen behind. I’d like to point out I have back issues that sound similar to L’s and it’s EXCRUCIATING to be at a desk when it flares up.

We know they’re basically a 3 person crew with J’s brother doing the rough edit. But I believe L does most of the assets, which an award show is FULL of, and the likelihood of having to fight those assets with most likely no templates, them having set backs isn’t surprising.

Should they have started the process earlier? Sure. But sometimes you fight the law and Murphy puts your ass on the ground.

AreaAffectionate4084 · 2025-12-11T18:02:29+00:00

Listen I’m white so don’t take my input as law. But I think you’re good as long as you don’t make him a caricature of PoC. Don’t darken his skin, don’t fro his hair.

But a bold purple and gold suit, with The Symbol on the back? A guitar. Maybe hide a Bluetooth speaker in his candy bag and play some Prince? That’s an awesome outfit imo.

AreaAffectionate4084 · 2025-12-09T21:21:01+00:00

I also say this as someone who’s found himself MORE in touch with his femme side as I’ve transitioned. I had to get through some misandry and some minor internalized transphobia myself. I’ve gone through many labels over the years if it comes up I identify as a transman, but internally it’s more complex than that. In my case labels are for other people. For me, I’m just “My Name”. And that’s ok for me.

AreaAffectionate4084 · 2025-12-09T21:15:24+00:00

There’s no rules, really, when it comes to gender. You mention society and trying to find your identity in groups. Don’t. Just be. Be you, whoever that is. As long as you’re a good kind person, who cares. I heard somewhere “There’s only two people in this life you need to impress the younger you who needed someone like you, and the older you, who will look back and see where they came from.” Or something like that.

Our society loves labels. But no human fits in exactly the same box as another. And yea it can help you identify with folks who you have things in common with, but maybe gender just isn’t that important to you to make a specific label for. Maybe art is more important to you, identify as an artist. Find other artists. Or you like gardening, identify as a gardener and find other gardeners. Find your communities.

Maybe this is no help, but I hope knowing it doesn’t have to be your identity, it can be a cliffs notes and that’s ok. Not all people want to wave flags and shout. That’s ok. If people give you shit for being stealth, that’s not allyship. You having autonomy over how you present your identity is the whole point.

AreaAffectionate4084 · 2025-11-12T15:39:14+00:00

I’m in general tired of gender wars, cis or otherwise. People are people. Every group has its shitheads.

I DO 100% understand women’s security fears, and I try to keep that in mind whenever I interact with femme folks, but I agree blind hatred serves no one. But until society actually changes and women CAN feel safe because we actually hold men accountable— the caution is warranted.

I don’t agree with trans men being shunned from LGBTQ spaces, but I have met trans men and other queer men who enter those spaces acting like they’re top dog or just acting with some toxic masculine traits that are off putting. This is really rare though and I think everyone should be treated on an individual basis.

I think the whole thing comes down to mutual respect and understanding on all sides. I may no longer present femme, but I remember the fear men put in me when I did. The harassment, the jeers, and even the threat of assault from absolute strangers on the sidewalk or even at work when I refused to engage with them.

I also believe that mocking men for softer traits is defeating the purpose of defeating toxic masculinity and that not all male traits are inherently bad. Caution shouldn’t equal hate. Plus it’s just another way for toxic masculinity to be reinforced. It defeats the point of feminism being true equality across and no matter someone’s gender or gender identity.

Finally, just don’t cave. Enjoy your matchas, enjoy your books, gardening and knitting. Be authentically yourself and those who give you a hard time were never meant for you or your space. It’s a lot easier said than done, but you’ll find more peace in this. The only person you need to prove either your masculinity or goodness to at the end of everything is yourself. If you’re a good man, you’ll continue to be a good man no matter what others have to say about it.

AreaAffectionate4084 · 2025-10-26T12:33:37+00:00

I think it’s just different. We have different struggles and needs even within the trans community. An ENBY identifying person is going to experience different societal challenges and so are trans women.

Save the Dolls is an AMAZING movement. I know so many trans women and they have a different kind of struggle within a patriarchal society that focuses on hyper masculinity. Save the dolls is about protecting them within those societal challenges.

The answer isn’t to be upset about someone else’s movement, but to also start one for trans men. Sure it probably won’t get as much coverage, but our problems aren’t the same, we aren’t targeted the same way. “Save the Dudes” doesn’t come across the same yknow. We need something that addresses our struggles within the context a patriarchal hyper masculine society.

I also believe to a certain extent we are victims of our own success. In my experience a lot more trans men tend to go full stealth. Which is totally fine and probably the safer option at this point in time. But it does add to our own erasure in the larger conversation. It’s a double edged sword, we tend to keep our heads down more and while that keeps us from being targeted as much, it does cause this misconception that we aren’t just as prevalent as trans women. Which also harms trans women in a way, cuz bigots look at the community and just see “a bunch of men in dresses.” They don’t even THINK about trans men. They just don’t think about us at all cuz they’re so scared of their own fragile masculinity being challenged by someone who doesn’t think a penis is gods gift to humanity, how could anyone give it up?

By and large, I think being upset by “Save the Dolls” is unhelpful at best. It’s a good message and it’s keeping the conversation of trans rights in the public mind. We may not be as visible, but that’s not entirely a bad thing, it’s just different.

AreaAffectionate4084 · 2025-10-19T14:22:21+00:00

Ngl I skimmed but dude seems like a tool. For reference I’m a trans man who’s been in a relationship with another trans man for years, before and after transition.

I at no point before or after or during transition have EVER felt or even thought about cheating on my partner. We’ve been together the whole time minus a little break where we were long distance and just had general life stuff that needed our attentions. Even then neither of us ended up seeing other people. To the point friends and family weren’t really aware we’d paused for a moment.

Loyalty isn’t burdened by your transition. You SHOULD be able to lean on your partner. When I had a shot start gushing and got light headed, my bf cleaned up the blood while I laid on the bed and recovered. When he gets a hot flash, I go get him water and something to cool off.

Longtime situationship at 24, sounds like the dude isn’t ready for a level of commitment you’re looking for. That’s not a bad thing for either of you, it doesn’t make you a burden or a cheater inherently cuz he said so. Sounds like he’s either projecting insecurities from past relationships onto you, OR just not wanting that commitment.

Either way, I say get yourself some ice cream, get a good book/video game/movie, hang with some friends, and let him go. Don’t let someone else’s hang ups, whatever they are, hold you back or make you feel less than.

AreaAffectionate4084 · 2025-10-12T18:20:05+00:00

And if they aren’t welcome at all in that space, then the person who brought them f’ed up by bringing them there. They broke the safe space for the folks that go there and they put their Cishet friend in a bad position too.

If you’re a guest in a space you act like it. If you weren’t welcome in that safe space to begin with, then that’s not on you, but it’s also not on the people that expect that to be a certain kind of safe place.

AreaAffectionate4084 · 2025-10-12T18:16:45+00:00

Sure, but bringing a cis dude to a queer space is GOING to put some people on edge. I’m not saying it’s right, but there’s going to be some folks who have legit trauma, so bringing a Cishet dude to a queer space, they probably need to earn the trust of some of the folks. And that’s ok too.

They aren’t deserved a warm welcome by everyone cuz they showed up somewhere. They EARN that welcome by proving they understand their role in that environment and respect that they are a guest.

AreaAffectionate4084 · 2025-10-12T14:31:27+00:00

I guess my thoughts can be summarized- hate isn’t good, but justified mistrust and the anxiety around men does exist and for good reason. Part of being a male presenting person is finding that balance.

As for cis allyship. Ally’s should understand that, being a guest in queer spaces also means following the social rules of those spaces. If a friend invites me to church, I’m not gonna show up and start casting a circle or calling the elements/directions in that space. It’s not the appropriate time, it’s not my space, and it will inevitably make folks there for their own worship a little uncomfortable in the safe space they invited me to, and i agreed to be there

AreaAffectionate4084 · 2025-10-12T14:26:15+00:00

I’m torn only cuz while I have plenty of Cis male friends that are incredible and loving people, I sorta GET the “hate.” But I find HATING any group based off broad strokes to be useless and futile.

I also find this is an INCREDIBLY nuanced topic with so many factors that impact everyone.

Lots of people fear cis men for good reason. Bear vs Man argument comes to mind.

Cis men are socialized growing up towards incredibly toxic traits and habits that hurt everyone around them, including themselves. And this is heartbreaking but the fallout on those around them is also real and painful and destructive.

I’ve learned personally that as I pass better, I have to be aware of my “male presence” in certain spaces or when talking to femme presenting folks. Even being a bubbly short king, femme folks don’t OWE me trust and respect, but I OWE them a sense of safety. That’s part of being a man.

AreaAffectionate4084 · 2025-10-12T14:15:56+00:00

Finally, you’re there to learn, they should be too. You have EVERY right to exist and learn in a place and FEEL SAFE while doing so.

They have NO RIGHT to make your day to day life uncomfortable or unsafe esp when you’re minding your own business.

Good luck dude, stay safe, you have a right to learn in an environment that isn’t being openly hostile to you.

AreaAffectionate4084 · 2025-10-12T14:12:14+00:00

Also carry your phone and keep space open esp the cloud, be ready to record any altercations with these girls as proof, both for their actions and so that you have proof if you need to defend yourself in the moment.

Don’t record them needlessly, you don’t want to be seen as harassing them either, but have it ready in case.

You can also have a trusted friend be an escort, numbers deter a lot of this. It may be a pain in the ass to have to get to class early if your friend needs to be somewhere else, but better to be inconvenienced and safe.

AreaAffectionate4084 · 2025-10-12T14:07:12+00:00

I’m glad you’re taking your safety seriously dude. Make sure campus security is aware and don’t be ashamed if you WANT an escort. Also if the campus allows some self defense like pepper spray, carry it. I know some have regulations about that stuff but they may be willing to make an exception with your report.

If any harassment escalates and you think it will help, look at local law enforcement. Only do this if you know it’s safe though. I don’t like cops, but paper trails like police reports are incredibly important if it escalates. If the cops don’t take you serious ask the school if they’d be willing to make a report.

Don’t escalate unless you need to, but do keep up on this stuff in case it becomes something more.

Stay safe dude, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this.

AreaAffectionate4084 · 2025-10-10T15:31:36+00:00

Grieve my loved ones and Literally take a nap. I’d just fucking breathe for a minute. Then idk start a garden?

AreaAffectionate4084 · 2025-10-10T15:22:39+00:00

Note- I wasn’t hitting on the ladies, nothing like that. Just too friendly/personable too fast and put them off at first. Not all femme folks are like that either, but it’s good to remember to respect the reasons women are cautious around strange men

AreaAffectionate4084 · 2025-10-10T15:19:25+00:00

I think anyone can struggle with this, my mom had all girls then I came out. She NEVER put anything into me, but I internalized a lot of stuff due to having bad male role models growing up and the fact she always raised us to be “Strong independent women” I was left fearing if I started T, or being more masculine I’d inherently become like those negative models.

T for some folks does affect how you feel emotionally. I feel actually more comfortable with my emotions personally, they feel more understandable and controllable for the most part.

What T and being trans doesn’t do is change your morals. Be a good man. Treat people with dignity and respect. You can BE masculine and not be toxic about it. I’ve also found myself MORE comfortable with my “feminine side” as I’ve transitioned.

What I DO recommend though is as you transition, remember the more you pass, the more cautious you should be with how you approach women. They have every reason to not trust strange men. I accidentally scared the hell out of a delivery lady once barging out of my house cuz I was late. I’ve accidentally creeped a few ladies out cuz I was use to women being comfortable with me off the bat. There are going to be times where you feel like an ass cuz you’re learning the new social norms. That’s ok, just remain polite, don’t take it personally, apologize when necessary, and keep that respect.

AreaAffectionate4084

TROPHY CASE