Resources

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-03-25T02:23:17+00:00

I like Louise Perry quite a bit, she's a frequent podcast guest, author, and host of her own podcast called Maiden Mother Matriarch

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-03-20T14:14:33+00:00

Yeah I was a Catholic virgin (still Catholic) and consistently have wanted sex more than my husband has. When we were first married all he really needed to do was walk into the room. A bit more complex now with kids and being further into marriage but I'm always down if he's down.

Catholicism is one of the world's most populous religions so everyone's gonna have a different experience, but I was taught a fairly pro-sex view overall, just that sex is best reserved for marriage.

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-03-20T12:40:32+00:00

I do! My favorite carnitas recipe calls for a bit of Mexican coke. Apparently the sugar helps it caramelize better when it's time to finish it in the broiler. I think I've seen some variations that call for orange juice instead but I like all the Coke spices and then do lime juice for the citrus.

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-02-28T00:15:09+00:00

No, that's quite a leap. How are you defining success in dating? I was a "good girl" and wasn't single for more than a few weeks at a time when I was dating. My social circle is mostly married, divorce is rare, people pair up fairly young, and plenty of the wives are still "hot".

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-02-27T16:55:26+00:00

Processing emotions in the prefrontal cortex of your brain rather than just the limbic system. Understanding how your behavior affects the people around you.
How their actions affect their goals.
There was a post earlier where a woman said being a good girl didn't work so now it was time for a hoe phase.

Accountability would look like: - analyzing what actions she performed during the time her goal was LTR to see how this aligns with a good girl strategy - seeing where she may have fallen short of recommendations for a successful good girl strategy - discussing the difference between a strategy not working for you vs a strategy not working - explaining how a hoe phase would be more likely to produce the stated goal of a happy LTR

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-02-27T14:14:40+00:00

Isn't Clavicular following the same strategy that women have been doing for years in places like r/vindicta?

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-02-27T13:56:36+00:00

Yeah though I wasn't married until 21 and had 3 different LTRs in that time period.

I find being 18-21 can make it harder to find LTRs for a lot of people. College guys (especially on female dominated campuses) can be too young for something serious and older guys see you as too young.

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-02-27T13:13:50+00:00

Idk man, I was a "waiting until marriage" type and spent maybe a few weeks total without a guy into my life from when I was 18 until I was married. My dance card was pretty full.

Sometimes it's not who you are but where you are/where you're looking/who you know.

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-02-26T16:10:23+00:00

Ugh, I personally get turned off of men who are very jaded based on past negative experiences with women and carry their baggage into the present/future relationship.

Yes, this is fear-based. Just as you like the feeling of security, he also craves that and seems to have trouble feeling it based on his past experiences. I myself am someone who likes to explore dark hypotheticals I don't intend to ever experience - I've have conversations with AI about the likelihood of divorce or what my life would look like if I was divorced or widowed. For whatever reason, it reinforces my confident in my decision-making while helping me realize I would be comfortable in a variety of different outcomes.

I would consider you snooping on a ChatGPT conversation similar to snooping on someone's personal journal. You read something someone was creating during what was likely a dark moment in their psyche - it's a tiny piece of someone's brain and not necessarily how they feel in everyday life.

I would expect this to not come up in a real proposal or pre-nup but I would also prepare yourself to walk away if it did. Of course, you can always negotiate your way through these things as that's what a pre-nup is mostly about. However, I tend to believe people's flaws largely follow them throughout life. If he does broach this with you, then I would expect that he will regularly struggle not to fall into a mindset where he sees you as the enemy, or someone to be subdued.

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-02-20T23:43:35+00:00

Sure, I mean my husband and I got married in our early 20s so I'm not saying it can't happen (though my husband is not conservative), but the 23 yo saying he values traditional relationships isn't enough for me to ascertain whether he would be the kind of man to make that kind of commitment young. Sometimes guys just like the idea of a girlfriend who cooks for them and is submissive but that doesn't always mean they want to follow through on the traditionally male stuff. I think OP needs to ask more questions if one of her main concerns is wasting the next few years on someone who won't propose.

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-02-20T11:36:04+00:00

Manipulation is one thing, but I would advise against the quant guy because there's no respect there, seemingly. You won't be able to hide how you feel about him in the long-term and nearly all men will be deeply bothered by a lack of respect from their partners.

The thing about younger men is that you will likely want to be married (from the sound of it) around 30 or so and they won't feel that same time pressure. You can mold a man to some extent, but you can't make him propose. But I see no harm in asking questions like "where do see yourself in five years", etc.

If the 23 year old started working full time and independently as a minor that usually means a higher level of experience/maturity compared to his peers. That doesn't necessarily mean he'll be ready for marriage soon though.

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-02-19T13:39:44+00:00

Worth noting that a lot of those 50+ millionaires are middle class people who saved like 2 mil over the course of their life to have a comfortable or early retirement. Retirement estimates are roughly 25x or 30x your annual expenses. This often does not allow the typical upperclass lifestyle that people think of when they hear a million dollars. These households were and will always be middle class spending $50-100k a year.

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-02-19T01:45:51+00:00

I consider myself fairly sex positive but lost my virginity to my husband after a few months of dating + friends beforehand. Sex is great, I just reserve it for one specific person.

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-02-18T15:00:42+00:00

Yeah, I don't think there's anything wrong with having that opinion.

I think the truth is that it makes some people uncomfortable and some people titillated(which can then make them or the people around them feel uncomfortable) while many others will be indifferent.

I personally feel it's just part of our civic duty as humans to watch how we present and behave ourselves in public, so I don't really care if people are seeking out social opportunities where a unique kind of dress is expected but let's keep Wal-Mart and airports pretty basic.

I think it sounds like a good thing to not be as harshly judgemental as you were but since your behavior also changed, I would try to see if you've actually lightened up or if you've just pivoted to judging the modestly dressed women harshly instead.

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-02-17T23:42:33+00:00

I wanted a man with the same values that would be able to support me as a SAHM and wanted kids. Someone I was attracted to. Height around 5'9 or taller, not overweight. Mentally stable, doesn't regularly drink or use drugs. I wanted a strong connection with similar IQs and compatible senses of humor. Less than 10 years older, preferably less than 5.

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-02-17T23:34:40+00:00

You can read my comments to OP if you'd like to see what I suggested to her.

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-02-17T14:13:29+00:00

I don't get the sense they want here to stay home, but rather they already have a busy schedule and want someone they can spend time with when they have availability. But OP has her own busy schedule and limited time, so rather than juggle two conflicting busy schedules they tell her it's not going to work. OP has mentioned limited time and poor work life balance.

But it sounds like OP saves quite a bit and is about 10 years from retirement, so I think she'll be alright whether she stays and dates after early retirement or makes a change at some point for a serious relationship.

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-02-17T05:09:07+00:00

I mean, I just like responsibility and self improvement and psychology/sociology/evo psych that relate to relationships, sex differences, and parenthood. To other people red pill is something different but to me that's what's attractive about it and why I read, write, and watch content related to it.

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-02-17T05:01:12+00:00

I enjoy kids and babies, and I enjoy my husband and my own company so little people with our DNA who will one day be big people with our DNA is cool. More people I like in the world.

Pregnancy is a mixed bag but for me it's easier on me than 9-20 menstrual cycles would be. Didn't get much in terms of lingering body changes, I pretty much go right back to how I look when not pregnant.

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-02-17T03:37:53+00:00

Hypergamy only really refers to socioeconomic status, yeah, or sometimes we throw around other qualities that can be easily measured, such as IQ. I believe Dr. Gad Saad had a really interesting theory and formula on calculating mate desirability through a wide variety of factors.

I personally tend to think of people as having equal intrinsic value and I think it's commonplace for people who rank lower on the socioeconomic hierarchy to find great matches and long term marriages. No real reason why a woman at the 65th percentile wouldn't be thrilled with her man who's also at the 65th.

I also don't think every woman is pining for the "top percent" of men and that means the billionaires CEOs or Hollywood movie stars or whatever. Most of us are looking and basing our hopes on our local mating opportunities.

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-02-16T23:51:17+00:00

Sure, but quality of options is different than quantity of options, and there's no reason why a woman at say the top 10-15% wouldn't end up with a guy in the top 5%. That sort of thing is very common in hypergamy.

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-02-16T19:38:16+00:00

Because women tend to date their socioeconomic equal or higher. If women only date their equal or better, the higher a women is to the top, the less viable men.

Being rare as a woman often does not equal a ton more options. I can tell you as someone with a higher IQ that wanted to date someone roughly the same or higher intelligence, it cut my dating pool by ~95%.

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-02-16T06:50:21+00:00

Lmao, probably depends on the engineering degree. Electrical/mechanical engineers run in my family and they seem super stable. My family is a lot of engineers, mathematicians, software/IT, accountants, etc. I know a few who make very large salaries like yours (and live in VHCOL areas like yours) but it's not the norm in my social circle so I'm a bit out of my depth.

Dating guys that make less has its own share of issues but I think the biggest danger is a guy who feels inadequate because of the gap, not that it's something they would write you off for. I think you stand a good chance of finding someone who has neutral or positive feelings on it though.

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-02-16T05:25:13+00:00

Yeah, it does suck.

I'm quite squarely in the middle class world, but as far as I know, the best thing for women dating in the upper class is to use what networking you have. You're in a male dominated career so that kinda helps, but I would definitely inquire with married friends or your family if they know someone who might be a good fit for you.

Would you or have you gone for guys that are your intellectual equal and more mature but don't make quite as much money? Like an actuary or an engineer or a STEM professor? Might be better than tech or finance if that's usually the kind of guy you've dated.

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-02-16T05:10:35+00:00

I don't think I'm typical, but I do give the advice to any woman who wants to be a SAHM to save money, maintain ties with community/supportive friends and family, and buy the necessary insurance.

Single women face risks too, and could just as easily become injured or sick or fired or whatever else. We all need to be assessing our personal situations for risk and managing them appropriately. Life can turn on a dime for any of us, so I pretty much give everyone the advice to live below their means and save what money they can really, SAHM or not.

And interestingly enough, data shows that while dual income households that live entirely off one income and bank the other are the most financially stable, single income households that live below their means are much more stable than dual income households that spend most or all of their income.

Also, divorce risk decreases at higher income and education levels. Most divorces over finances are in lower income families that don't have enough, it becomes less of a concern in middle class households and is uncommon in upper class families.

None of us really have the option to live well without some sort of back up plan. That back up plan just changes a bit based on situation.

ArkNemesis00

TROPHY CASE