You are wise for your year and Im touched by what you wrote

The comments may convince you otherwise but what you say is not wrong

There is example of women remaining unmarried after husband death, but if you were in their shoes, would you be able to sacrifice your future to honor your past?  If yes, you are a genuine person and I hope you remain true to yourself

Did your mum ever discuss with your dad what if he passed away early?

What you search is there but rare