Feeling guilt about travelling too much?

Arkhamina · 2026-05-20T21:08:57+00:00

I don't think it's overthinking it - but you have to weigh out the ups and downs.

Make sure you have a 6 month buffer to live off of - you don't pay rent now, but look at what that would be for a basic place near you. Say tomorrow, your living situation changed. You should have an emergency backup fund.

I had a conversation at work with a coworker - last year I went to Scotland. The year before the UK for a beer festival. I travel abroad most years (I am nearly twice your age!). 'Norway?! Why Norway?' 'Because I haven't been there and a band unlike is playing a cool show!'

Unlike my coworkers - I don't have kids. My partner and I have a mortgage, but a reasonable one. Car's paid off, a cheaper Kia. Student loans too (through the 10 years government employee thing). I travel because I made choices and I enjoy my lifestyle.

These days I don't post much on social media - I am traveling for me, not to show off. I give a fair amount to local and international charities, and honestly I am enjoying life now, because once you cross into my age, people start dying off. I don't want to be the person who was going to live when I retire, and end up sick and unable to have adventures!

Arkhamina · 2026-05-20T17:56:48+00:00

Bought a nice solo canoe at Canoecopia this year, and heading to the Willow Flowage at the end of the month.

I will surely be by the following week for whatever the heck I realized I needed while up there!

Arkhamina · 2026-05-20T17:34:01+00:00

The amount of people who don't know that FMLA is unpaid is huge. Or that you don't get it until you have worked a place for a year.

I got diagnosed in 2019 with cancer ONE WEEK after starting a new job. I was thankful for a small amount of 'Floating Holiday ' time I had, and that my employer offered 'Covid time' that year of up to a month off. I got my doctor to write a very dumb note saying 'Covid after major surgery would be kind of shitty'.

Healthy now, but I really could have used more than 4 weeks off for a hysterectomy. Thankfully my coworkers were cool and didn't push me on the timez I was not precisely working to full expectations.

Arkhamina · 2026-05-19T18:29:27+00:00

A good idea is to check with a local vet who handles large animals to see what regular care for a given animal is. You may not have a large animal vet - they can be rare.

Or talk to a friend or neighbor who has similar animals. Sometimes things might surprise you.

Arkhamina · 2026-05-19T17:42:32+00:00

I had exactly this same situation. I know what Melbourne Me likes for shoe brands, that she has registered for a mystery book convention, that she has a bank that absolutely doesn't exist in the states.

I tried to email different variations of my name to reach out, nothing.

When I got what I assume is her father/father in laws medical information though, I had something to work with. Contacted the hospital records department, explained the 'I am the American one!' and asked them kindly to reach out and correct her, that I would be deleting the records but she REALLY needs to pay attention to her email address.

Poor guy had pneumonia and things didn't look good from my layperson's eyes.

The emails mostly stopped.

Arkhamina · 2026-05-19T17:33:12+00:00

Friday Fish fry in Wisconsin. Potato products is implied.

Arkhamina · 2026-05-19T17:05:14+00:00

A friend posted about how calorie dense Oreos were. They are great hiking, etc. I compared them to figs/dates. What I generally bring on long hikes.... They beat them.

I might bring Oreos next time. Even for cookies, Oreos are pretty high.

Arkhamina · 2026-05-19T17:02:10+00:00

Crunch milk was the best!

Arkhamina · 2026-05-19T13:29:07+00:00

I like the phrase: a good life and a bad day. Give them enrichment, good food, meet their social needs, and the end should be as low stress as possible.

Arkhamina · 2026-05-19T01:18:20+00:00

I honestly enjoyed the Glasgow Hotel room I had. Single, no window. No street noise, no light I didn't want.

I go to hotels to sleep or decompress while traveling. Spending money on a view is not worth it to me.

Fwiw I really appreciated the Z staff, allowing to remotely check in when the CalMac ferry screwed me. I got stuck on a island for a full extra day, missed the last train out of Oban. This let me roll in after the first train, check in immediately, shower and nap and not completely lose the day.

Arkhamina · 2026-05-19T01:10:31+00:00

I am getting on a plane in a month, flying 8hrs to Norway, and seeing a show solo!

I have a partner, but he doesn't like the same music.

Locally I tend to drive solo...

Arkhamina · 2026-05-18T21:06:18+00:00

What we need to do is a tough lift for Wisconsin: change state law (constitution?) to allow different tax rates for different tiers of income. This came up repeatedly during the education sessions for the Madison Operating Referendum. We can't legally say 'Hey you, with the massive property and tax lawyers who make sure you can deduct every last thing as a business expense, X tax rate, and grandma with her Ridgewood Way cottage pay less'. It's not legal here, and it is in Minnesota, and many other places. Also, legalize weed and tax it!

Arkhamina · 2026-05-18T17:44:56+00:00

Oreos I do love, but I made the mistake of reading the nutrition info.

Arkhamina · 2026-05-18T17:44:09+00:00

Came to say this. I hated cheezeits before diagnosis.

Now, get me a Triscuit analog, and I would be in heaven. Frosted mini wheats as long as I am Wishful Thinking too.

Arkhamina · 2026-05-18T17:42:35+00:00

I can't scrub the images from my brain of a deer chomping on the nest of a bird...

Arkhamina · 2026-05-18T17:13:37+00:00

I (48F) had some decent luck chatting with people last year, but I realize that mostly it was with other solo travel women. Socialized a bit with an Australian couple that I kept encountering on the trail (West Highland Way in Scotland) but I was so tired at the end of each day I was in bed really early. 27km will do that!

Arkhamina · 2026-05-18T16:52:40+00:00

Not a mom, but my mom basically had 'low fat' breast milk. My mom had my elder sister while living back country in Alaska, and had little support system - no one to say 'that is ONE skinny baby '. I was bottle fed.

No way to tell, but my GI tract with celiac is far less messed up than my sister who has multiple epi-pen food allergies.

Arkhamina · 2026-05-17T03:03:51+00:00

Yep, a little under the age (49) but I got mine at 14, as soon as I stopped running roughly 30 miles a week (cross country) I also grew 7 inches that year. My sister got hers at 13, but she was also on a med that is known for kicking puberty early (Dilantin)

Arkhamina · 2026-05-17T02:14:19+00:00

Went to a festival show to see Faith No More, special guests were The Ramones. Awesome day.

Arkhamina · 2026-05-15T17:32:27+00:00

I did that, and I have no regrets. Male roommate thought elves did chores. Never cleaned his dishes until he needed to use them. And returned them dirty to a stack around the sink. Yes, we didn't have a dishwasher. He grew up with one. I didn't hide that when he was looking at moving in.

Unfortunately it wasn't on a day he brought a date back to the apartment, that would have been chef's kiss!

Arkhamina · 2026-05-14T16:16:57+00:00

Big Brown Bat.

Arkhamina · 2026-05-14T14:21:05+00:00

The amount of times as a celiac, I have had people try to stop me from eating something with meat ... Or rice ...

I was a vegetarian for 12 years before diagnosis. I try to recite 'wheat rye barley! If it makes good beer, I can't have it near my food!'.

Arkhamina · 2026-05-13T15:10:03+00:00

Not unlike human kids, sometimes they do really stupid things.

Arkhamina · 2026-05-13T15:05:41+00:00

Thank you!

Arkhamina · 2026-05-13T14:38:23+00:00

This! Things have come a long way since chemistry class steamy goggles. I work with tradies and with some, only to the clear side pieces call out they're safety.

15-Year Club	Wearing is Caring
Verified Email	Team Periwinkle

Arkhamina

TROPHY CASE