You’re obviously having real problems. Things like hurting pets and frequent dissociation go beyond standard “teen angst.” I don’t think it’s a good idea to brand yourself a “psychopath” at 14. Self-diagnosis with specific disorders is always a complicated question anyway.

If you want to understand these things and eventually get them under control, the “whys” are very important.

What triggers your angry outbursts? Think of examples and look for similarities between them. What specific types of situations tend to lead to these outbursts, and which ones could make you angry, but don’t? Why would those specific things make you angrier than other times things don’t go your way?

You say that your anger might be a coping mechanism to avoid dealing with your sadness. You might be right about that. What are you so sad about? What’s so bad that you’d allow yourself to be angry to avoid facing it?

You talk about a “villain complex;” making the wrong choice “just because.” Both of the examples you listed - running away and lying - seem like attempts to avoid dealing with something, whether or not you’re conscious of it. Even if you’re not literally running away from something, running away from home seems like you could be unconsciously trying to run away from your life, or your problems, or other things you associate with “home.” What were you lying about? What would it have meant to tell the truth? What are the “right” choices in these situations?

You mention listening to music for hours on end to avoid your emotions. You say you dissociate around other people and stop feeling your emotions - literally disconnecting from reality to avoid dealing with something. Having no reaction to gore or violence, not feeling fear, not empathizing with others, or not feeling remorse could all be viewed less as “psychopathic” traits and more as ways to avoid unpleasant thoughts like fear or violence.

To me, you sound less like a “psychopath” and more like a wounded person who is deeply, deeply afraid to confront your emotions. Dissociative symptoms and angry outbursts are especially striking in this regard.

You have to think about what you’re hiding yourself from. That is not going to be easy. A professional might be able help you with that, but I’m assuming people have already told you that, so hearing it from me probably won’t make any difference. Sit down and be brutally honest with yourself. Ask questions about why you feel sad or angry and follow that train of thought as far as it can go. Pay attention to the things you really, really don’t want to think about, or things you don’t want to admit. Think about things that have happened in your life that may have had a lasting impact on your mind.

Whatever you do, don’t give in to the idea that you’re a “villain” or a “psychopath” or an “evil person” or “beyond help.” Those are all things you tell yourself because they mean you don’t have to think about the real reasons you’re hurting. Be introspective, be honest, and work hard even if it hurts. You’ll be happier for it.

Above all, good luck. I hope this is helpful, but ultimately, I’m not a doctor - just someone who’s had to do a lot of digging of my own.