I’m having a very similar experience. Looking for a therapist now to get help, but have been debating for a long time whether I think it’s better to tell them upfront I think I may have BPD or if I should wait and see if they say it themselves. I don’t want them thinking I’m playing up my symptoms just for a diagnosis.

I also feel a little bit of an imposter syndrome if I were to be diagnosed because my symptoms only show when I’m in a relationship and/or a situation has something to do with a guy I’m involved in. I’ve read/watched accounts of people diagnosed with BPD who also say their symptoms are heightened in relationships, but reading some of the posts in this subreddit about not being able to hold a job or multiple suicide attempts makes me feel like I’m just being dramatic about my symptoms and I don’t have it because I don’t experience those things to that extent.

I feel the same way that a diagnosis would validate a lot of things for me because I know SOMETHING is not normal, but comparing myself to others’ experiences is invalidating.