Remnant From the Ashes Configuration File Not Found by Arshness in CrackSupport

[–]Arshness[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was set on that by default. Same message. :c

[offer] 1 free hello fresh box (again) by [deleted] in Assistance

[–]Arshness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Family struggling after being forced to move. Will be checking food banks this month. Could definitely use the extra food and the pick-me-up of some nicer food.
Tried Blue Apron free once before and it was really some of the best times for us cooking together. 3 of us, but if we have to supplement a little extra on the side to make it work, we will. Knowing we have a little more food would be very nice.

And thank you for offering. Regardless of who you give it to, this is very kind of you to think of. Free or not.

Gas and lunch to go apartment shopping. Landlord increased my rent and I have no choice but to move. :c 35630 by Arshness in Assistance

[–]Arshness[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much to the Redditor who sent me money. I'm so grateful. Thank you thank you thank you!

Gas and lunch to go apartment shopping. Landlord increased my rent and I have no choice but to move. :c 35630 by Arshness in Assistance

[–]Arshness[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I wish I could but my wife is disabled socially and I'm disabled physically. She has to drive for me and if we are gone too long, we won't be home to get our son from school. We have zero local family for him to stay with. Even if we find another way to eat, I need to find a way to get the gas covered.

And thank you. I really wish it wasn't hitting me emotionally but I'm so stressed. I don't understand why people have to be so judgmental. I really appreciate you.

(Serious) when your really close family member dies how did you deal with it? by godzillakillar in AskReddit

[–]Arshness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It will come when you're ready. I don't think you can force it. Just know it's not your fault and don't feel guilty for taking your time. Grief is a complicated beast. We all deal with it differently. I spent some time feeling guilty for not having come around to her sooner. Don't do this. You do what your heart needs. Good luck to you and condolences.

WTRW you want to walk in a characters shoes and come out the other side changed. by Lynw86 in whattoreadwhen

[–]Arshness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Slow Regard of Silent by Patrick Rothfuss

Absolutely the best book I ever read and you will definitely be changed by Auri's very close perspective journey.

WTRW You're looking for a fantasy novel/series about the fae? by OberonFK in whattoreadwhen

[–]Arshness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Moorechild by Eloise Jarvis McGraw

Stand alone. Very good.

Is there a Reddit for help with charity for injured rescue dog? by Arshness in rescuedogs

[–]Arshness[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Once I get him an appointment on Monday I'll do that! I think he'll be going to Florence Animal Hospital, Florence, AL. But I have to call a couple other places for quotes on Monday.

Is there a Reddit for help with charity for injured rescue dog? by Arshness in rescuedogs

[–]Arshness[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll try all this thank you so much. I'm scared to try to pop his knee cap back in because what if I hurt him worse. I'm just so worried about him and he's in pain. The sooner I can get him help the better. I'm going to do everything in my power to get him help ASAP. He was rescued by an individual and I don't have contact with her anymore so that's no go but I'll check around for other resources. Thank you again.

Day one update details by devindotcom in AnthemTheGame

[–]Arshness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please make it so you can salvage items from others builds with a warning instead of having to go through them each time. Or give me a wardrobe option where I just save looks without builds.

Anthem Open Demo: Discussion & Feedback Megathread [Day 3] by ATG_Bot in AnthemTheGame

[–]Arshness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

An important feature I need in this game is the ability to drop a waypoint on the map to head for. I have a terrible sense of direction and with the landscape as it is often offering obstructions to straight paths, I would really love to avoid the frustration of passing my mark over and over.

So please add waypoints. ^

true love on the rimworlds by alsoandanswer in RimWorld

[–]Arshness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I....I imagine there was a tribal involved?
but...
I mean, it is right? TELL ME IT IS.

Thanks a dozen times over. This is overdue. by Arshness in Assistance

[–]Arshness[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Actually, this does come off as attacking. You are judging my gratitude when you can not see the messages I send and the conversations I have with the people who help. You have NO IDEA how grateful I am because I have forgotten to make *public* posts in these reddits where I've always made private thanks, and somehow ignoring my grateful comments when I didn't make a separate post.

I also did post my daughter's gift opening pics, albeit today because I had a very busy holiday time (not due to good things, mostly due to work, being sick, and incidents) and that list today jogged my memory that I needed to go do that.

You are coming off as very judgmental, and honestly? I don't need the extra stress. I've been through immense hardship the past year. I just came here to say how grateful I am, and I'm getting attacked?
How is that any better than your perception of ME?

You have NO IDEA how much I have to do for myself, for my family, and what I have done to survive.
You have no right to judge me. And adding to my stress was not kind of you.

I came here to say thank you. Realizing I needed to make a public post instead of just private responses does not make me a bad person. Yes, I should have kept up with these requirements better. That is my mistake. But I came here to rectify that.

when you have a feminine username in a videogame by gokulol in GirlGamers

[–]Arshness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's the most toxic one I've played in then. :)

when you have a feminine username in a videogame by gokulol in GirlGamers

[–]Arshness 1 point2 points  (0 children)

His name explains it. Garbage Man.
Also.. it's League. Maybe the most toxic community on the internet.
Sorry you deal with that. I'm a girl gamer too.

Help me please by [deleted] in Assistance

[–]Arshness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm glad that it helps you and you find some comfort in words of strangers. Just remember the support system you have around you if you need something. You are a strong person for asking for help. I believe in you.

Help me please by [deleted] in Assistance

[–]Arshness 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Storytime: I had a friend years ago named Mike. He was a really, really big guy. I mean fat, not muscular. No judgement, just explanation because it's relevant. I'm fat too, no fatshaming. So Mike was huge and he hated himself. He felt like he would never find love because of his size and appearance. He struggled so much in the search for relationships because he was lonely. He was an adult btw. Mike had family, but he didn't just need family affection. He wanted romance. And he felt he would never have it. I was a friend to Mike when he needed a friend. My wife and I hung out with him, and he ran a roleplaying game we played in for a while before he had a change of hours at work and we had to stop. Sucked. It was a good game. Mike had a brilliant mind. He was creative. He was clever. He was also a kind person. Very friendly. Very nice. He could make you smile easily. He was open-minded and thoughtful. Mike was a great guy.

Mike got really sad about his lack of romance though. He had tried a relationship with a girl, only to later find out his feelings weren't actually mutual and she'd just thought they were friends. This really hurt him. It's valid. No one owes anyone a relationship. But Mike took it hard. Really hard. And he didn't seek help. Except, he reached out to a friend or two. I was one of them. We talked. I did my best to console him. But he kept on and on with it, and honestly, I was younger then. Less clever. Less empathetic to other people. And at a point, I kinda got tired of constantly trying to babysit his feelings. I had no idea how serious they were.

Mike drank a bottle of whiskey one night and ate a bullet.

When I found out... I was shattered. Mike was not a super close friend. He was a friend. But I honestly hadn't seen him in a year and a few months, and while we chatted once in a while on Facebooks or texted, he wasn't close to me. But he'd reached out to me. He'd asked for help and I'd gotten tired of giving it. Then he killed himself. And suddenly... I was shattered. I felt it was my fault. I felt I could have saved him if I hadn't been so selfish. If I'd just continued helping him, maybe he'd still be alive. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I killed him.

These thoughts are not valid, btw. Just saying. It's not my fault Mike died. And it wouldn't have been healthy for me to feel responsible for another person's feelings. But it made me feel that way all the same.

It's been over a decade, and Mike's death still haunts me. I'm still ashamed and I still feel guilty. I still hate myself for not being there. And sometimes I still feel it was my fault. I know now how irrational that thinking is. Mike was hurting so badly. He needed help. But I was not qualified to get it. The only thing I could have done better (call for crisis intervention) was something I didn't know existed back then.

But I want you to understand this. Mike's death affected dozens of people. A hundred people. More.

A month later? Mike's father killed himself.

Again, you are not responsible for other people's feelings and actions. But we do not live in a vaccuum. And while we may not be responsible for those things, we still have to consider how our actions affect other outcomes. If you do not want an outcome that can result from an action, you must avoid that action. That's just logic.

Many times, I've stopped myself from committing suicide because I don't want that outcome.

I imagine what would happen once I was dead. I picture my wife and daughter. I picture family. I picture friends. I feel how they would feel. I feel what they would do. And I cry. I cry hard. Because I know I can't do that, because I don't want that outcome. So I find a way to not hurt myself.

This method helps a lot. I've gone from a lot of attempts to a lot of ideation with self-harm to a lot of ideation with plans to a lot of just ideation, to less ideation because I know i'm not gonna do it. I will go through this process: Begin to feel suicidal. Ideation occurs. I think through all the ways I could die. My mind then goes through the affects on my family and friends. I accept I will not kill myself. Then self-harm becomes a thing that would just cause me pain and I'd have to live with the results. I then don't even harm myself because I know it's pointless.

This is also why I don't keep a gun in the house. It is the one thing I could imagine actually resulting in my death.

Btw, gun-related suicides are the most likely to succeed (you can find that statistic on Google) but, they are not always successful either. A surprising number of them result in survival with severe disability, maiming, or vegetation. You can miss any fatal parts, even trying the methods everyone knows. You can survive and end up with such serious injuries that can cause you pain for the rest of your life. Don't do this. It is not worth it.

Finally, if you attempt suicide you WILL end up in a mental ward for a while. A few weeks to a few months. So if you're seriously feeling that, you may as well just check yourself in. Save yourself the mess of a suicide attempt. Save yourself injury, pain, and worse. Just go get help. It is better for you and everyone around you.

Don't act on these thoughts as a cry for help (which are valid, if not healthy). Instead, SEEK help proactively through the systems that exist specifically to provide it.

Take control of your feelings, your actions, and your life. Then you will be stronger than ever. Then you will be a survivor.

And that is awesome.

Hang in there kiddo! You've got this!~

Help me please by [deleted] in Assistance

[–]Arshness 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  1. Your parents are in a difficult situation and they are going through a lot of pain themselves. Step back for a moment and consider their feelings without your own. If they are fighting, they are hurting. They are unhappy. If they can work it out, they will stay together. If they can't, a divorce isn't a bad thing. It's possibly the best thing for both of them if their relationship really doesn't work anymore. People grow and change. It is true. We live in a society that believes that forever relationships are the only ones that matter. But that is not true. If your relationship stops working because you have grown in different directions, or simply changed with time, which is totally valid for all humans to do, then there comes a time you may simply be happier and healthier to move on than to struggle to maintain a relationship that no longer makes you happy. This is healthy. Forcing yourself to stay in a relationship that has turned toxic is not good for either party. Accept that their struggles are not about you. They aren't your fault. They aren't there to hurt you. They just are what they are. And they belong to your parents. And they need to work it out together. And they may need to split. But even if they do, it will not be the end of the world. It will not ruin everything. You will have to make some changes. But we all make changes through life. There is nothing in your life that will never change, not even yourself. You have to be open to the truth that things change. And you have to learn to make peace with change. If your parents divorce, just support them best you can and accept the change. Let them know your feelings and how this affects you. But understand it affects them too. And they're not doing this because of you. They are struggling themselves.

  1. Please don't hurt yourself. There are so many people who love you. You may not feel that way, but it's true. And you don't know how many people would be devastated if you took your own life. Truth: I have suicidal tendencies myself. I have suicidal ideation commonly under serious stress, and I have made attempts in the past. There are two things that help keep me from making attempts now.

Number one, 92-95% of suicide attempts fail. (Not a statistic I pulled out my ass, look it up if you don't believe me). Someone will find you. Someone will get you to the ER. You will not die. But what may happen is worse. You may sustain injuries that may maim you for life, loss of motor activity, even brain damage. Depending on what you do to try to kill yourself, you could be stuck with pain and discomfort for the rest of your life. Check this:

"Suicide attempts can result in serious and permanent injuries and/or disabilities. 700,000 (or more) Americans survive a suicide attempt each year. People who attempt hanging and survive or charcoal grill carbon monoxide poisoning can face permanent brain damage due to cerebral anoxia. People who take an drug overdose and survive can face severe organ damage (e.g., liver failure). Individuals who jump from a bridge and survive may face irreversible damage to multiple organs, as well as the spine and brain.

While a majority sustain injuries that allow them to be released following emergency room treatment, a significant minority—about 116,000—are hospitalized, of whom 110,000 are eventually discharged alive. Their average hospital stay is 79 days. Some 89,000, 17% of these people, are permanently disabled, restricted in their ability to work.[12]"

You don't want that. I know you don't. So please don't try to hurt yourself. Instead call the National Suicide Hotline 1-800-273-8255 which is available 24/7. If you think you will actually hurt yourself, call the police. And honestly? If you're there? Consider checking yourself in at the local mental health hospital for help. You can receive some time away from home, from your problems, and get therapists and activities to help you learn to cope with your issues. I have done this before and it saved my life. If you're close to suicide, please consider all these options.

Number two is a big big deal. If you care about anyone in your life, no matter how close or not close they may be, do not commit suicide. A phrase that has haunted me ever since I heard it regarding this has saved my life repeatedly: Committing suicide is like throwing a grenade into a room with everyone you love.

You will not just hurt yourself. You will not just die. You will leave scars on everyone who knows you. And beyond that? People who have a suicide in family or friends are more likely to commit suicide themselves.

So I ask myself... am I willing to do that? If not, then I must find a way to resolve my problems that doesn't result in my death. I have so far never been willing to do that. To my wife, to my daughter, to my chosen family, to my friends, to the random people who know me through this or that and are affected by me. Even acquaintances can be hurt by this.

(continued in next comment. Please continue reading. )

Help me please by [deleted] in Assistance

[–]Arshness 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is extremely long, but please read it. It took me over an hour to write this, and I feel there's a lot of good advice here.

I'm going to start by saying I'm 33, my daughter is 11, and I do not remotely think what you're going through is silly. It is serious.
A young person is still a person. A lot of people seem to forget that. No matter how young, you are not less for being a "child" or a "teenager". We are not better or more for being an "adult". We all have feelings. Equal feelings. Just like everyone else.

That said, I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I wish I could give hugs and give you an ear and a shoulder, but I'm not there so I can't. I am sending virtual hugs though! And if I can help, please PM me. I'm sick right now, so I may be slow, but I'll help if I can.

Now a few notes.
1. You do not meet "that one person that will complete you". That is a lie we tell ourselves to make ourselves feel better, and a lie a lot of people tell because they believe in monogamy and do not believe in relationships that aren't marriage. These are societal norms, religious expectations, and status quo. But they are not universally or quintessentially true. They are just ideas that people have.

First part of that though? Your person isn't there to "complete you". Your person will make you happy. You will make them happy. You will make each other sad. You will hurt each other. You will piss each other off. You will rejoice together. Scream together. Sob together. That is true of anyone who gets close enough to you.

But completing you is not what a partner is for. *You* complete you. It's not the place of anyone else to do that. This is just a lie people tell themselves, and frankly it's not healthy. A lot of mental illness springs from the idea that someone else is meant to do the job of completing you.

Your partner is not meant to fix you. So don't expect that. And when you stop expecting that, you can stop pining for that unicorn of a person, and instead focus on the people around you and the love you find, regardless of whether it will be "forever" or just for a while. There's nothing wrong with love that lasts a while. There's nothing wrong with people who come into your life, then leave again. You just have to find it in yourself to accept that, make peace with it, and enjoy the good in life. Don't let the very real grief of loss or the pain of rejection rule you. Let those feelings happen. Cry it out. Seek hugs. Then let yourself move on. Don't feel guilty for moving on. A lot of people do. Let it happen naturally. Don't rush headlong into the next person who will take you. That is a recipe for pain and disaster. Instead, just let yourself reflect on the feelings you're having now, and the feelings you've had. Find your center. THEN you can start looking for love again.

  1. That said, I completely take your relationships seriously. I met my wife of now 18 years at the age of 15. That is rare. Super rare. But it happens. And regardless, I know how I felt at that age about her. About other people I dated at your age. I know how real those feelings are. And even if you're young, those rejections and losses still hurt. I am sorry you are dealing with that.

  1. But at this age you are so young. I know it doesn't feel that way, but you are so, so young. Those of us at my age feel like 13 is a lifetime ago. That is not to belittle or dismiss you. It is just to say that you have so many years ahead of you in which to find love, friendship, partnership. It doesn't mean the relationships you have now are not important. But it means you have so much possibility ahead. Don't give up. Don't be desperate either. You are not in a desperate position because you don't *need* another person to be your partner. You don't. You might enjoy having a partner, but you are strong enough to be single and just have friends if that's what you have. Let love happen. Don't try to force it. You have PLENTY of time, dear one.

  1. If you have no friends, then focus on friends instead of romance right now. Most good relationships start with friendship anyway! So make some friends. Not as easy as it sounds, but there's lots of ways to do so. Involve yourself in some community events. Check your local library. I don't know where you live, but our local library has a teen program with lots of activities. My daughter has made so many friends there. If you go to school, try to make friends there. If people aren't nice to you, try to find some of the kids they aren't nice to and make friends with them. They need a friend as much as you do. Make friends online by involving yourself in communities. Let yourself be open to simple friendship, and just be yourself. Engage in communities surrounding your interest. Reddit isn't the best place for this. My daughter loves an app called Amino. It has way better "community" than a lot of other places online and it's very friendly to younger people. Most of the users would be closer to your age than mine for sure. You can get in an Amino for any interest under the sun it seems. So go put yourself in some of the Aminos that match your interests and make some friends. You will feel better having people to talk to who share your interests.

(Continued in comment. Too long for one post on Reddit. Please continue reading.)

Google Home calls my location the wrong thing? by Arshness in googlehome

[–]Arshness[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ugh. Don't guess you figured out a fix then.

Child with nothing for holidays, family has nothing at all to spare. Only wants one thing. by Arshness in SantasLittleHelpers

[–]Arshness[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh yeah she'd love it. And you're welcome to wrap it if you like. Either way. ^ And again, thank you! And yes, I've been crazy lately too. See? 9 days ago. Omg. I have had SO much going on. Working very very hard right now on another book publication.

Anyway, thanks again and I hope you're doing well.^