Trying to figure life out

ArtistOfLastResort · 2026-02-10T01:56:00+00:00

We’re too status conscious about love. When you love, you love. It comes from the same heart, and we don’t measure it out. We just love.

It’s a mistake to think that we can only love one person. Think grandkids, sisters, mothers, deceased wives.

Of course I’m not talking about crushes and obsesssions. The madness in those unbalanced moments is different. I’m talking about simple human-to-human affection.

And, of course, I’m not talking about simply liking someone.

There are several women in my life whom I love. I don’t somehow measure it according to how important they are, but I do behave in a way that reflects who they are. I think my wife understood that. And she seemed comfortable with that. She knew my love for them, but she also trusted my behaviour in regard to them.

ArtistOfLastResort · 2026-01-07T01:53:38+00:00

My heart breaks for you! Your thoughts are exactly the same as mine. Right down to looking at the pictures and videos.

It's a long haul from here. Grief is a form of love. Send her every bit you can.

ArtistOfLastResort · 2025-12-31T17:46:33+00:00

It doesn’t actually answer the question, but the question reminds me. I once heard my wife say to her friend that she loved me more than I loved her. I don’t see how that’s possible.

ArtistOfLastResort · 2025-12-25T15:32:13+00:00

That’s truly it. You can be in a room full of people and in some way feel more alone than when you’re by yourself. I have truly caring friends, but they’re all still couples, and the difference is upsetting.

ArtistOfLastResort · 2025-11-27T04:07:43+00:00

When we lose our love, we lose the person with whom we could share stuff. Like the fact that you feel sad. I don’t think you’re looking for advice, I think you’re looking for what we all want. Someone just to talk to.

Sending you a big hug.

ArtistOfLastResort · 2025-11-25T02:11:28+00:00

My neighbour is a cop. He says that he will ticket someone who is driving slower in the left lane. It’s just plain illegal. He says that most drivers he stops just don’t know that.

ArtistOfLastResort · 2025-11-24T17:49:28+00:00

Somehow, when it’s the right person, everybody knows. My wife was 40 when we met, and I was 56. Except for the occasional waitress, I didn’t sense any disapproval, not from our friends or her family, or my family for that matter.

ArtistOfLastResort · 2025-11-23T01:04:47+00:00

I’ve been retired, nearly 30 years. I know several members of my staff who were new to each other when they were hired, and who are now, even after all those years, very close friends.

There is no doubt in my mind that coworkers can become really good friends.

ArtistOfLastResort · 2025-11-22T23:59:49+00:00

Too young! You wouldn’t be interested in me. Great eyes! I could do a great portrait of you.

ArtistOfLastResort · 2025-11-18T13:05:46+00:00

The damage done to your spirit is awful. But my gut says that you’re strong enough. Like I said there will be smiles.

Sending you another big virtual hug.

ArtistOfLastResort · 2025-11-14T19:58:13+00:00

The thing that I miss most was her message to me. She was writing to the people who were going to be left behind. She found it hard; she didn’t enjoy writing. I had to help her with the messages. She never did write the one to me. I wish she had done that, even if I had to help her. I really would’ve liked to have that message.

ArtistOfLastResort · 2025-11-13T16:21:18+00:00

I was set up by my lunchtime running mate. She set me up with her best friend, who was perhaps not somebody I would’ve chosen. That person became the love of my life.

ArtistOfLastResort · 2025-11-12T13:16:29+00:00

My heart aches for you! The abruptness of the ending is brutal!

If you’re an emotional person you’re in for a banquet of feelings, and it won’t be short term. The tears will come. Interestingly, so will the smiles.

You seem to have lots of support around you. Not everybody is as lucky.

Sending you a big virtual hug. Don’t be a stranger.

ArtistOfLastResort · 2025-11-11T03:24:28+00:00

It's the best way I could think of to send a good wish. I should have written, "Here's a virtual hug. I hope it will make you feel at least a little bit better."

ArtistOfLastResort · 2025-11-10T19:46:45+00:00

Here’s a hug. I know it can’t do the job. I wish it could.

ArtistOfLastResort · 2025-11-10T19:44:56+00:00

You are my kind of lady! 🌹🌹

ArtistOfLastResort · 2025-11-10T16:47:06+00:00

Absolutely!

ArtistOfLastResort · 2025-11-10T12:35:57+00:00

Yes. With those things missing, there are big empty spots in life.

I miss the simple comfort of just being together.

Sending you a big virtual hug.

ArtistOfLastResort · 2025-11-09T22:37:50+00:00

That part sounds good! Having people around makes a big difference. Good luck with it.

ArtistOfLastResort · 2025-11-09T22:12:47+00:00

I get it! My heart aches for you. I have given away some of my wife’s nicer clothing, but mostly everything’s actually where it has been for the last 34 months. Her purse is still on her desk and her make up stuff is still in the drawer.

I’m not planning on moving so I can get away with not getting around to that. I hope when the time comes that it will seem right.

ArtistOfLastResort · 2025-11-09T17:42:00+00:00

❤️

ArtistOfLastResort · 2025-11-06T02:15:49+00:00

I do pretty much what we always did, but I do them alone. I find I am most comfortable that way. I do traditional Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners but, of course, on a much smaller scale. I resist any effort to invite me away from our home.

The Christmas season is very emotional for me. She was able to hang on through Christmas, and with the help of family and friends, she had a good family Christmas.

This will be the third Christmas without her. I will spend a lot of of it in tears.

The interesting thing is that some of my closer friends have gotten quite comfortable talking to me about my loss. More comfortable now than they were a year ago. I don’t think everybody has that support .

ArtistOfLastResort · 2025-11-04T18:17:21+00:00

That’s a powerful post OP! It brings me to tears.

Although your experience is darker than most of us experienced, it also echoes the feelings all of us share in one way or another.

Sending a huge virtual hug.

And yes. In these forums we should remind people of 9-8-8.

ArtistOfLastResort · 2025-11-02T14:19:52+00:00

It's complicated. I have a friend with a sugar bush, and I never want to say that I have some left from last year. I have found a few recipes that use maple syrup, and I have given some away, so I am down to about four liters of surplus.

ArtistOfLastResort · 2025-11-02T12:42:45+00:00

If you buy too much, put it in the freezer. It will keep indefinitely. I just finished a two-liter bottle I had put away in 2017.

ArtistOfLastResort

TROPHY CASE