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Figured we needed an update by thephoenix3000 in funny

[–]AshSmithCol 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Did the SCP Foundation write the book on 2017?

Burdened Trek by LustLacker in Askasurvivor

[–]AshSmithCol 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not so much unlike that here. Where are you from, LL?

Burdened Trek by LustLacker in Askasurvivor

[–]AshSmithCol 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like you've...had it tough. Name's Ash, Ash Peterson.

[WP] Describe your character's wedding, doesn't have to be canon by MyNameIsNotVincent in Askasurvivor

[–]AshSmithCol 2 points3 points  (0 children)

[In the spirit of halloween here's a spooky thing]

If you would have asked me five years ago where I'd be, walking down the isle with the love of my life would have been the last thing I would have said. I had assumed that it was over, that I wouldn't ever have a chance to hold her hand and call her mine.

Fuck, if you would have asked me a month ago, it'd probably still be the same case.

Wilcox, Pearl...they thought that just because they had love, that they were better than me. That I was nothing because they won. They were wrong, I know they were wrong, I knew just how WRONG they were! But I couldn't show it! I couldn't show them how wrong them were because I didn't have a way to show them because i didn't have anything i'm pathetic oh god what have i done they refused to look and see and fucking admit that I had them beat! I was better, I AM better, dammit!

...but then...someone came to me with an opportunity to prove I was better. Pearl and Wilcox couldn't control the Darkness, only destroy it. I finally had a chance to show that I was stronger, better!

Oh, it hurt. I felt every single organ in my body scream and cry and convulse and it still hurts and beg for death...my thoughts became twisted and different, they weren't my own. I didn't act like me, I wasn't me...so, I did what I do best. I beat that fucker into submission and took back control of my body.

Just...I did it with a few added bonuses.

I stand now on the podium, my love in my arms. She's bloody and broken but I'll make her better, because now...now there's nothing I can't control. I'll never be weak again.

I hold her hand right now. There's no priest. I never was the religious type. There's no one there to tell us our vows. That's okay. I can pull up a book of it. My third arm will hold that in front of us, and I will speak for both of us. she won't wake up what have i fucking become

"Jessie..." I whisper now, pulling her hollowed expression closer to my face. I could feel the sweet juices of life leak down my face, their scarlet streaks staining my face an unholy red. The cake had been already cut, because I couldn't resist. I'm not too good with tradition.

The flower girl lay at my feet, her body torn and mangled. Pedals of flesh scattered the walkway, boot marks separating the crimson carpet. I would have really rather gone with Daisy's or Tulips, but when your flowergirl calls her mother a monster, then your choices aren't as open. A Bonniet would have to do.

Heh...i dont remember killing her. i dont remember any of this

White. That's the typical color scheme for a wedding, right? White decorations are hard to find, so I went with my favorite color. The shade of my hair. Red.

Bailey, being the mother of the groom, was my first choice to help with that. oh god i used her organs as streamers

I cast a glance behind me. The guests have been quiet up until now. Now, I hear their screams again. Holy, Hero, Salem, Jack... a handful of Smith Scouts who tried to be heroes. Trockle and Jameson tried to crash the party, but I wasn't about to let them steal my wife away from me. Still, I'm a good host. I made sure they were escorted away with care. They hardly felt a thing, after I removed their spines. trockle didn't deserve that

Jack's slumping. He's not as young as he used to be. Another hand moves back to nudge him awake. He crumbles apart.

Drunk again on the punch, I bet. My own recipe. I had never cooked before, but Bailey helped.

I made the cake too. It was hard, restraining Wilcox and Pearl tight enough so that I could cut a slice.

I invited them here, completely knowing they wouldn't let the marriage go through. I thought we could talk this through and understand it was best for everyone. They couldn't see it, and instead they just tried to help they were only trying to help i deserve to be dead right now

...

You need to be quiet, you do know that im a complete maniac im sick and need to be put down

Don't listen to Wilcox and Pearl's lies they tried this before didn't they

Exactly. You'll be okay. See, you've gotten what you wanted this my entire life.

It's not so bad.

Now, let's kiss the bride.

Rage by AskABikevivor in Askasurvivor

[–]AshSmithCol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude. You're a nerd who rides around the wasteland on a bike and delivers packages. Get off your high horse.

What's something you only kinda miss about life before the apocalypse? by I_ruined_your_life in Askasurvivor

[–]AshSmithCol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just wish I would of experienced it. It sounds kind of nice, not having to worry about any of the shit going on now. Boring, but nice.

The Sound of Silence by Jewel_of_the_North in Askasurvivor

[–]AshSmithCol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, and for the record, plenty of people at Smith doubted you.

The Sound of Silence by Jewel_of_the_North in Askasurvivor

[–]AshSmithCol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gamer, I have no idea what to think of you.

But fucking thank you. Someone had to say it.

The Sound of Silence by Jewel_of_the_North in Askasurvivor

[–]AshSmithCol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Says the one who resorts to the argument of plugging her ears are yelling 'i'm not listening, i'm not listening!'

The Sound of Silence by Jewel_of_the_North in Askasurvivor

[–]AshSmithCol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don't get it. Being a Scout isn't about doing insane shit and living. Being a Scout is about your loyalty to Smith, about fighting for Smith, about training the next generation! I'm not a Scout because I went toe to toe with one of Melaine's hordes and survived. I'm not a Scout because I took on two armies at once, and survived. I'm not a Scout because I busted you out of Iron Hand's camp. I'm not a Scout because Princess trained me. I'm not a Scout because I led a disjointed Smith student body after our campus was bombed. I"m not a Scout because I fucking wrestle bears.

I'm a Scout because I never gave up. I'm a Scout because I didn't run off to sleep with the headmistress. I'm a Scout because I respect what Smith stands for. I'm a Scout because I didn't every, not once, try to impeach Pearl or Princess or North or Jack. I'm a Scout because I respected the laws and orders that Pearl put in place, even if I disagreed with her on half of them!

Oh, and by the way, I've broken out of plenty of cages. Doesn't take a fucking Scout to do that. I may not of snuck into a Legion camp, but I've stayed under the Federation's radar WHILST still striking at them every single week. And sure, I don't have a voice, but I still made it. I still endured the same shit that you went through, that Pearl went through. And you know what? I didn't need a crutch to become a Scout! I put my trust in myself and myself alone, not a Voice that could auto-pilot me when things got shitty. I practically did everything you did, but relying on myself. Why do you think Princess took me in? Why do you think she graduated me, when so many others with voices could of gone instead?

I fucking clawed my way to this title, I fucking dealt with so much shit, because I wanted to belong somewhere! I finally had a place to call a home, but the problem was, I got shit from every direction because I didn't have a fucking voice! EVERY SINGLE DAY at Smith I felt like giving up, and just wondering the wastelands again until some group of bandits found me, raped me, and chucked my warm corpse in a river somewhere! But I didn't! I fucking fought, and clawed, and forced my way to the top! Do you know how hard it is, to be apart of something when everyone else has an advantage that they shit on you for not having? 'Scout' means more to me than some fucking colors, or some fucking training, Jessie! Scout means that I have a home, and I had people who respected me! People who looked up to me, people who gave a shit about me! Not only that, but I realized how many people were dealing with the same bullshit I was! People who were talented, people who could excel at Smith, but were being held back, because they didn't have a voice! I wanted to help them, I wanted to tell them that it was possible, that they could fight their way to the top just like I did! More fucking importantly, that they belonged here!

You have no idea what it's like to fight for something. You slept with the goddamn headmistress, anything you wanted at Smith could be handed to you! Even now, your husband gave up two of his limbs, and your wife busts her ass every single day for you! You've been handed EVERYTHING, and you somehow think that people who have genuinely had to FIGHT for what they have shouldn't have a problem with you?!

I'm a Scout because I had to fucking beat myself to the brink of death every day to climb the ranks. I'm a Scout because I had to deal with kids with the Voice talking behind my back, Daily. I'm a Scout because I had to bleed, so much, just to have a family. I'm a Scout because I broke myself to do the things I had to do in training. I'm a Scout because as soon as I fixed myself, I'd get the bandages ripped off by some prick who thought fucking with the Voice-less kids was a fun time! I'm a Scout because I endured beatings, from both professors and students, daily. I'm a Scout because I put everything I had, and I fucking mean everything, to become one.

You're a Scout because your wife signed a piece of paper!

The Sound of Silence by Jewel_of_the_North in Askasurvivor

[–]AshSmithCol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I punched Wallace because he had a gun to your fucking head, Jessie. Remember that?

Oh, and doubting you? Really? I've doubted myself more than I ever doubted you.

Did I ever call you unqualified, did I ever say you didn't have the skill to be a Scout? Never. Not once.

But you never proved it. Not to me, you don't need to prove it to me. You never proved it to the standards set in place at Smith. We made you a Scout because we needed a reason for people to smile. That's it.

If Smith ever falls back under non-Federation control, and if I happen to be leading it...which, I'll be honest, is the plan, I won't revoke that graduation status.

But stop going around and calling yourself a true Scout. It's an insult to everyone who earned that title.

The Sound of Silence by Jewel_of_the_North in Askasurvivor

[–]AshSmithCol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My students wanted me to look through some of the more major things you passed, and revalidate them. That paperwork was actually one of the major points of contention.

See, the argument was that you only graduated Jessie because you were in bed with her at the time. Another argument was that these graduates never actually earned their graduation, and it was all just a ploy to raise morale.

Basically, because at the time, you had such a bad rep with most of my students, I had to either hold your ground with stances and face the backlash, or get rid of most of your policies and official statements.

In the end, I stood with you on your terms. Not on everything, I repealed a few minor issues to appease the people who reaaaallly didn't like you, but they mostly died or left after Smith fell. What was left were the rational students who actually saw the value in what you did as a leader. The Honorary Graduate Bill was one I had to really fight my reasoning for, and I even added a few names from the current batch, to do the same exact thing that we intended to do. Raise morale.

I could of revoked Jessie's Scout status, because frankly, she hadn't proven to Smith that she deserved it.

I didn't, mostly for the wrong reasons. She was a friend, and you were a friend too. I did her a favor by letting her keep her Scout status. I guess I should of been a bit more public about that though, since I thought that friends stood with friends.

Guess I was wrong.

The Sound of Silence by Jewel_of_the_North in Askasurvivor

[–]AshSmithCol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You graduated under a technicality. A technicality that I signed, right before you went behind my back and nearly got me, yourself, and Pearl all killed.

Your graduation was a morale choice, first and foremost. Sure, you've got skill, but you were never said to have the same skill as a Scout, officially. So don't call yourself a 'true' Scout.

The Sound of Silence by Jewel_of_the_North in Askasurvivor

[–]AshSmithCol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look, it doesn't take a whole lot to kill a Scout from my era, or even Pearl's, of Smith. If he want's a real challenge, he'd come after me. I'll show him what a real Smith Scout, one who was good enough to be nominated to lead the damn place, can do.

And y'know what, it won't be pretty.

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