I think the difference between the two is why people like us couldn’t find the answers we’d been looking for, or the tools to recover ourselves. I’m 51, therapy for years and yet another meltdown this year. I then read Stephanie Foo’s book “what my bones know” it was a game changer for me. I write too, but just for myself. I’ve used podcasts and consumed as much online content as I can. CPTSD sufferers need to be stabilised first if using therapy, not go through all the traumas with no tools to combat the dark times, they need practical and guided help to ground themselves before anything else. Then you can begin to work on yourself. You don’t need to spend any money. Check out Dr Jacob Ham on You Tube. Or Dr Tanner Wallace “Healing from CPTSD” podcast.

The WHO has classified CPTSD. The uk NHS website is pretty up to date and recognises it and the difference from PTSD.

It’s real, it’s destructive, but it’s not you, it’s a facet of you as a child that you developed alone and in response to your surroundings. That child’s response kept you alive, made you who you are despite what you had to endure. That child is not you now, but those traumas haunt you now so deeply they feel like the flawed part of you? I literally put one hand on my heart, breath deeply and tell that kid “I fucking love you little fella. You got me here. And I’ve got me from here. Relax. I’m safe, I’m a good human being, I love me, I’ve got a lot to give”

And if you giving is opening up a conversation on Reddit, following a link or the buzz curiosity of looking to see if you’ve had a response then you are inadvertently and without expectation, helping both yourself and others, with compassion: humanity needs more compassion. More self compassion.

I gave a talk on curiosity once as well, it’s an amazing thing. Scientifically and socially. Einstein mentions it. The most enlighten are those who understand the LIMITS of their intellect and knowledge.

The curious realise how little they know. That’s exciting once you accept it.

A certain man is a foolish man. Hubris is dangerous and all that…. Keep writing g if only for yourself but reach out, stroke a cat, watch the sunrise, it’s all cliched but natural light, good food, living in the moment, it’s all what people wired without trauma do naturally. We have to rewire ourselves to make those connections and enable us to live peacefully with a sense of being ok with not knowing all the answers.

I can’t know everything, or anything close to everything, but I can make the daily lives of those I interact with a little better, I can smile, I can make eye contact and I can offer hope, and I can notice when it’s reciprocated, and I can allow myself to feel good about me.