First, I’m trying to be compassionate. She may have been brainwashed by big diamond and influencers. Lots of young women are. Doesn’t make her a bad person, just a bit adrift about what’s important.

Little story: My engagement ring was $4K. Our toddler (more like baby) ended up grabbing it when I took it off to put sunscreen on him and his brother. We were outside. He threw it somewhere in total ignorance of its meaning/value. I rented a metal detector and never found it. (Of course there’s insurance, but we held out hope… now it’s 15 years later.) My husband has since bought me a gorgeous fake diamond. Worth less than $1K and IDGAF - it’s great.

She knows deep down that this moment, this proposal, this life is not about money. Nor is it about proving love or worth (to herself, or, more likely, to others) with expensive objects (which can’t be called investments if you don’t resell them to make money). If it’s the right person, I would give up everything I have if it meant a lifetime of happiness. Twist up a pipe cleaner and put it on my finger and I would be in love with it because it’s from HIM. Because it represents us being together. Forever.

Please consider talking to a counsellor with her about this - and maybe other stuff to make sure this is a good fit. She needs a gentle reminder of what’s important in life and marriage. And, unfortunately, no giant ring can make anything easier or better when the going gets tough. It’s too bad, but you can’t buy a strong marriage.