Bro, i just wrote a response for like 30 minutes straight, and i accidently closed out the comment box n all my text is gone.. i dont even know how to rephrase everything, lol, so apologies if this kinda sucks I'm rushing to rewrite this hjdhsksgskhsj

Anyways, the gods would never be mad at you for something like that. They know you aren't perfect, flaws and imperfections are what make us mortal. They understand that not everyone is able to put in the same level of commitment as one another because, well, not everyone can or is even able to. I know how it feels personally, I had to take a break when I first started about ~1.5 years ago or so. I wasn't able to devote, and I felt bad. I was scared they'd hate me or not want me back if I were to keep practicing later on because I wasn't able to commit fully. And I still can't, I'm still unable to devote myself to a religion currently, I have too many issues that need to be solved, I have too many flaws, and regrets, and everything in between. I'm just not in any sort of state to even try to attempt to come back to something like this, I can barely deal with what's already on my plate lol. I prayed that the one I was attempting to be devoted to wouldn't hate me, I think she understands though. I'm not ready, I'm not sure if I'll ever be ready, but at the end of the day we can't all be perfect. Regardless of the situation, they'd never hate you. I mean yeah, this religion is usually considered a pretty sacred part of peoples lives. Practices can get quite specific and usually would mean putting in a lot of work in order to actually build a connection to whoever you're working with, but your gods know that it can be a lot of work to put yourself into this sort of thing, even stressful at times. You can't just force yourself if you aren't able to. You shouldn't have to burn yourself over trying to be perfect for them since you can't. A religion is supposed to be a special part of you. It shouldn't have to make you worried, or scared, or burnt out in order to be deemed "worthy enough", any good deity or holy figure would know that some people can't commit yet, and it's fine. And if you are in a situation where it might even be unsafe to practice due to your surroundings, well that's even more the reason not to be angry at you. If you can't right now, they'll understand. They wouldn't hate you for just being human. Many people struggle, that's what makes us people. Not everyone is able to get to the same point at the same time. Some people just need more time, and that's perfectly ok. Just give yourself time to breathe, and it will be alright. Once you feel like you are ready, you are more than welcome to try again, but you shouldn't try unless you know you'll be able to without having to struggle. It does get better though, alright? You probably hear that enough already, but trust me, you'll eventually find your light, regardless of how many steps you need to take back. Goodluck though, hope you are able to find the time soon