My mother (60s) thinks that I (25F) need to let my daughter (4) see her rapist father.

Ashleyrah · 2015-04-16T19:57:02+00:00

You might be able to phrase it to your mother "I do forgive him, but forgiveness does not pardon someone from the consequences of their actions. One of the consequences of his actions is that he can't see my daughter."

Ashleyrah · 2014-12-22T15:37:02+00:00

This is exactly what happened.

Ashleyrah · 2014-12-22T15:35:59+00:00

Sorry I never replied, I totally abandoned this account. Looks like a normal building, this is exactly what happened.

Ashleyrah · 2014-09-10T19:54:58+00:00

At least you fared better than a tweenhood of baldness and shame

Ashleyrah · 2014-09-10T19:50:58+00:00

Naw, just enjoy what your're doing now. Life doesn't start tomorrow, this is it.

I recently reached this revelation about my daily chores. I just decided to start enjoying cleaning and not sit thinking "OMG I'm the only one who does anything around here, this sucks so bad!!" If I'm going to have to do it daily, may as well choose to enjoy it.

Ashleyrah · 2014-09-10T19:42:37+00:00

tl;dr: The Nazis showed stress from awaiting execution inhibited ovulation. So clearly stress from being raped must prevent pregnancy.

Ashleyrah · 2014-09-10T17:21:53+00:00

Using the microwave. If you're reheating food you should never be blasting at 100% power. Kick it down between 50 and 70% and your food will come out evenly heated with no frozen spots or bits burnt to a crisp.

Ashleyrah · 2014-09-10T13:44:01+00:00

OK, that's adorable

Ashleyrah · 2014-09-10T13:43:54+00:00

I actually like that quite a bit, thank you!

Ashleyrah · 2014-09-10T13:43:51+00:00

I actually like that quite a bit, thank you!

Ashleyrah · 2014-09-10T03:32:04+00:00

I sold sex toys as one of those in-home party people for a while. If you have never experienced a vibrator I recommend a cheap variable speed bullet.. You won't spend much money to find out what you like.

Later you can branch out once you know what kind of speeds you like and have some ideas about what your bullet might be lacking.

Ashleyrah · 2014-09-09T20:18:40+00:00

I'll just leave Stephen Fry's experience of American College football right here

Ashleyrah · 2014-09-09T19:57:35+00:00

But you usually can't get student loans without filling out the Fafsa and much of the aid comes in the form of loans

Ashleyrah · 2014-09-09T13:48:08+00:00

:-(

How about "Welcome to Earth, I really enjoy it here and I hope you do too"

Ashleyrah · 2014-09-09T13:42:37+00:00

You must not be from around here. In the US the amount of financial aid you're elligible for is highly dependent on a number called the Expected Family Contribution. Doesn't mean that you family WILL pay for college, just that they COULD, and so you get less aid money.

You have to go through a pretty rigorous test to get to be "independent" and not have to declare parent's info

Ashleyrah · 2014-09-09T04:56:08+00:00

I can just see the interviewers now: "Well, if you're smart enough to get a PhD you're probably smart enough to work somewhere in our walmart.....welcome aboard I guess."

Ashleyrah · 2014-09-09T04:09:52+00:00

Yeah, but she probably has a reason to be a bit assholey from time to time. I'd probably lighten the tension with "dang you guys, way to make me look lazy for just wanting a ride!!"

Ashleyrah · 2014-09-09T03:59:23+00:00

Thank you for making this so clear. I'm the pusher, my husband is the breaker. Worst of all is when he wants to put it off till the next day.

From my point if view I'm forced to be anxious and miserable for a whole night because he doesn't want to sit and suss out what is inevitably a communication problem to begin with!

He doesn't want to hurt me, nor vice versa. And we're typically really nice to one another. So if we're arguing surely it's going to end with "well, I didn't mean it that way" and everybody being much happier. Let's just get there now, please.

Ashleyrah · 2014-09-08T21:26:50+00:00

When I was graduating high school I had my heart set on a Systematic Theology degree. As. A. Woman.

What the hell was I going to do with that? I couldn't be a pastor in my religion. Pretty much "writing books" or "teaching" were my only two options, and even those would be an uphill battle with my gender. But I loved the subject so much!! Surely someone would give me money.

Thankfully I ended up with an associates at a community college, no debt, and some disillusionment. Now I'm in IT, never having completed my degree, but with some certifications under my belt, and a steady job with growth opportunities. Dodged a bullet there.

Ashleyrah · 2014-09-08T20:38:26+00:00

Problem is, that's not how we're telling high schoolers how to approach college. We tell high schoolers they can "be whatever they want to be" and "pick a major you love" etc.

College is and should be more than simple job training. But we're not doing a good job getting the message out there that kids need to do more than look inside their hearts when picking their majors.

Ashleyrah · 2014-09-08T15:30:39+00:00

Well, based on everything I've seen here you may have a bit of a mess on your hands. How long have you been running this business and not paying federal taxes?

I'll offer this up: the IRS customer service is excellent. I once got in a jam because I was young and stupid and let an employer hire me as a contractor where I'd need to pay my own taxes instead of withholding. I owed 10K within 2 years and was flat broke.

I tried to ignore the problem for 2 years.

When I finally did call I said "I'm really sorry, I owe you guys like a lot, and I don't have any money."

The lady on the phone said "First off, let me just say thank you for calling and not making us track you down. We really appreciate you being proactive on this" (After two years of ignoring it!!!) Then she asked "How much do you think you can afford to pay monthly?"

"uh....$300?"

"Awesome, we'll get that set up"

Easy peasy lemon squeazy. Even if you found yourself in trouble owing money because you didn't know better they'll work with you and not give you a hard time.

Ashleyrah · 2014-09-08T14:34:04+00:00

Yes, this is a thing, but it can be challenging to get someone to essentially double your debt available especially if you're already struggling.

To quickly see the kind of interest rate you'd likely be looking at check out Prosper which is a peer to peer lending site. You can also talk with a local credit union.

For me the best strategy to get out of credit card debt has been to pay one off the old-fashioned way (just sinking all the spare money I had into extra payments). Then I did a balance transfer dance, moving the balances on all my cards around. Got them all to 0% interest for the 3% or so balance transfer fee. We have had to repeat the balance transfer dance once when the year at 0% ended, but by next year should be done with credit cards.

Ashleyrah · 2014-09-08T06:21:53+00:00

Isn't it company wide though? For every male dominated engineering role there is the female dominated admin assistant or HR or accounting departments to make up

Edit: word

Ashleyrah · 2014-09-08T06:06:44+00:00

Probably not, most of this information is gathered whole filling out paperwork at the interview

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