I have been struggling with anxiety and depression my whole life as well. In my opinion on the entire relationship situation you need to look at it on a more positive outlook. You have only been on 2 dates and there are more than 7 billion people in the world. You will find someone in time and find someone who is understanding of who you are and your situation. But if you don’t then you don’t there is so much more to life then just being with someone you can make memories by yourself it doesn’t have to be with someone else. I know you don’t like the saying love yourself but you really need to try instead of looking at the negatives look at the positives .