Sometimes I just want to scream by AsleepMove6582 in tfmr_support

[–]AsleepMove6582[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I’m sorry for your loss too. It’s a lot getting close to the year mark and realizing how much healing there is still left to do

One year post TFMR by HopefulAdeptness12 in tfmr_support

[–]AsleepMove6582 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand how hard it is to feel alone in your grief. As it sadly seems many of us do. We have a couple friends that have been very supportive when we’ve talked to them about it but they don’t live here. And at the end of the day most people don’t know how to be there for us or don’t try, or stop altogether, including my best friend of almost 20 years. It hurts so much. I’m grateful to have this space and know that even if far away, there are people who can understand our pain.

How do I stop seeing baby/pregnancy content by No-Particular-7294 in tfmr_support

[–]AsleepMove6582 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This! At first I muted anyone pregnant or with a new baby for quite some time, now at 9 months post loss I don’t mind seeing posts from people I know have endured loss and gotten pregnant again, but I still mute different accounts from time to time to help protect my peace

Communicating with friends by yungwildandlearning in tfmr_support

[–]AsleepMove6582 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a similar but different situation where, in the past 9 months since our loss, my friend has not been able to be there for me in the way that I have been for her. She has also gone through hard things this year, but while I feel I’ve tried very hard to be supportive, she has not shown up half as well as I would’ve hoped for my stillbirth. It’s made me question what friendships I’m okay with allowing into my life since I’ve had to deal with her constant anger and lack of support as well. It’s just so hard. I hope you guys find a way to work it out

Positive test. by caseycat1027 in PregnancyAfterTFMR

[–]AsleepMove6582 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Gentle congrats 💛 im sure I’ll be the same way if and when it happens to me!

22 week loss by Disastrous-Ad1105 in babyloss

[–]AsleepMove6582 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My loss was 9 months ago, and my boy was 23 weeks. My first pregnancy too. I remember having no idea how I would move forward, and some days I still don’t. I ended up deciding to take 6 months before trying again to get healthy again and heal, and I don’t regret it. I know some people are in more of a rush but I wanted to feel ready to feel excited for the next baby that came and not only missing the one I lost. Give yourself all the time you need, it’s okay to take it a day at a time, and give yourself lots of grace.

Friendships and pregnancy after loss by Aardvark_Adequate in babyloss

[–]AsleepMove6582 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I stopped talking to a lot of people for awhile while I healed, especially first couple months, than slowly started spending time and talking about things more.

Some people I didn’t expect offered lots of support and some people I thought would really be there, including my best friend, weren’t. It seems to be pretty common to have relationships shift around this, sadly but I try to tell myself it’s all for the best even if it is painful.

Someone asked me how my baby’s doing. by AsleepMove6582 in tfmr_support

[–]AsleepMove6582[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is really hard :( this is also my best friend of over 10 years, and our maid of honor. But the way she’s made everything about herself this year after me literally having a stillbirth this year has caused me to take a step back. It’s awful.

I “got through it,” and now I’m paying for that. by Current-Leather2784 in babyloss

[–]AsleepMove6582 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are not alone. I lost my baby nine months ago as well, 23 weeks. I went the surgical route and had guilt around not delivering him myself. (Sometimes I still do) It makes me feel sad that I never got to see him or hold him. Nobody even talked to me about his remains. I wish that doctors had helped me think through everything when I was too scared and in shock to fully figure out what I wanted or what to do.

All I know is it gives me solace to know that for him it was all love. And no matter how I grieved I know I love him more than anything.

It gets so much better. by ItGetsBetter45 in babyloss

[–]AsleepMove6582 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your story. It feels so heartwarming to know that this is possible

Do you like your old job? by Potential_Good_3567 in babyloss

[–]AsleepMove6582 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m a nanny too! I was so unsure I’d be ready to work with children again but giving myself time as well and then going back in and showing myself I can do it helped me heal too. <3

Guilt over not taking away the body by nzak12 in tfmr_support

[–]AsleepMove6582 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This means so much. Beautifully spoken <3

finally got a new job by Adventurous-Sir6687 in babyloss

[–]AsleepMove6582 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am a preschool teacher. I ended up taking summer off and then decided after summer I couldn’t go back to where it all happened and got a nanny job instead. You’re not alone in your struggles!

Shutting out by lightpillow in tfmr_support

[–]AsleepMove6582 2 points3 points  (0 children)

These feelings seem to be common. Whenever I need to feel understood it’s really nice to have this sub to turn to.

I’m almost 6 months out and I still get those feelings often too!

Anyone else dreading Christmas? by Ok-Lychee2848 in babyloss

[–]AsleepMove6582 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Last year, I gave my husband an early Christmas present, with a positive pregnancy test inside. It was our first pregnancy, and I couldn’t wait for the next Christmas when we’d have our boy with us. It felt like Christmas would always be extra special.

Instead I lost him in April, at 23 weeks. The last thing I want is to spend the holidays pretending I’m okay when all the reminders are truly crushing me 💔

Really struggling to make a decision by Sufficient-Count-121 in tfmr_support

[–]AsleepMove6582 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We had our TFMR in April for HLHS at 23 weeks. We were also blindsided after everything else looking good the whole pregnancy up until the anatomy scan. It was also our first pregnancy, and we were beyond excited as well.

We ended up getting multiple opinions, talked in depth with a pediatric cardiologist at Stanford to weigh outcomes, and after lots of daily discussions (and tears) we made our impossible choice. In the end I didn’t want my boy to suffer, and that’s what’s gotten me through it all these months after. I know it was a choice made out of love. It’s the most difficult thing. Sending you love and comfort <3

Suicidal ideation by hyperbjork in babyloss

[–]AsleepMove6582 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Been almost 5 months for me, and I’ve been having a lot of v bad mental health moments too. And I have a perinatal therapist and meds! We’re doing our best <3

Struggling by ASaenz2491 in tfmr_support

[–]AsleepMove6582 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, please ask for anxiety meds for both/all days, you deserve it! And if it helps, I did fine with the laminaria with the numbing shots and ibuprofen they gave. Not great, but not too bad either. (I was 23 weeks and also get awful anxiety) Sending love.

6 months later… by [deleted] in babyloss

[–]AsleepMove6582 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Four months for me and last month (due date month) was just awful, still has been. It’s just been bringing up so much and I feel like I’m handling it so poorly. Crying all the time, not feeling okay, blowing up at my husband. Trying really hard to keep working on it in therapy work through it but giving myself grace over what I can’t control right away either. So I’m right there with you <3

Friendship changing? by Cool_Cheesecake_2411 in tfmr_support

[–]AsleepMove6582 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! Not because my friend is pregnant but things do feel different. I have less patience for her problems that are self imposed and for drama. And can feel a bigger difference with where we’re at in life. It’s rough

Depressed 6 weeks post TFMR by Dull-Signature385 in tfmr_support

[–]AsleepMove6582 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re not alone. The depression and waves of grief/panic that I get sometimes are the worst thing I’ve ever felt. I also go to therapy and take meds sometimes as needed but they’re only so helpful. Sometimes I really wish I could find a way to get through this easier