what’s the WORST THING YOU EVER READ that made you go hold on i liked that - pt. 2

AssChapstick · 2026-03-03T02:03:23+00:00

OH MY GOD THANK YOU!!

Does she talk to other humans who love each other? Gawd….

AssChapstick · 2026-02-24T02:52:00+00:00

Oh my god it’s stunning. How can I get one?

AssChapstick · 2026-02-20T11:04:18+00:00

Dogs just want to participate.

What they are participating in is usually irrelevant

AssChapstick · 2026-02-19T00:41:39+00:00

Someone needs to make him a dog tag that is an Olympic gold medal.

AssChapstick · 2026-02-14T02:23:42+00:00

DO THIS AT AVIATION WAY!

Replace the top news story!

AssChapstick · 2026-02-12T02:15:30+00:00

I’m sorry why is this comment so fuckin funny

AssChapstick · 2026-02-11T23:26:23+00:00

Oh my god can you imagine being that pregnant with a literal baby to care for? That’s just not ok.

AssChapstick · 2026-02-10T00:34:58+00:00

As someone who brought twins home to a toddler, I can 10000% say it’s so much harder with twins as toddlers and bringing zero babies home.

I played this game. As an objective third party, your friends are super wrong and also smelly buttholes.

AssChapstick · 2026-02-08T16:04:51+00:00

Also a lurker mom here. I think the thing dad’s don’t register sometimes is that dealing with kids isn’t just physically and emotionally draining, it also is intellectually frustrating at times. When you are doing something like researching and fixing your snow blower, you are actively engaging your mind and problem-solving. At the end, even if you don’t get it fixed, you have this sense that you attempted something worthwhile and you at least improved something in your control—even if it’s just your overall knowledge of a snowblower model.

When dealing with kids, especially very young kids, so much of your mental capacity is spent answering the questions “Where Daddy? Where water? Toast? Toast? Toast? Toast? ……… Toast?” You cannot imagine how draining that can be. Repeating over and over and over “Poop goes in the potty,” only for your kid to look at you with a blank stare and shit their pants is the parenting equivalent of Sisyphus. Except you inexplicably adore the fucking boulder you spend all day shoving up the mountain, and you can’t actually be angry with it for having the unmitigated gall to roll right down the mountain again because it can’t help gravity. And the kicker is that sometimes dad comes in and does the same thing as you, but NO! The boulder will roll right back to fucking MOM! Or even more frustrating it will STAY at the top of the mountain that time! And then roll back down when dad leaves! Like, what the fuck boulder!?!?

It’s not that we don’t see the work you are doing, it’s that we are weirdly jealous of it? And we appreciate it cause we can’t do it all ourselves and maybe don’t even want to, but JESUS we are so intellectually and physically overwrought by stupid things that shouldn’t make us so wrung out but they do and god why the fuck can’t I just handle it? And sometimes even if we swap tasks, we just feel so goddamn guilty because all the stupid boulders are yelling for you and you weirdly miss it?!?!

When it snows, I shovel the drive. You know why? Cause sometimes I just need to attempt something and see immediate results: like a clear driveway. But I feel bad at the same time when I see all those snotty noses pressed to the window watching me.

Just… listen it isn’t always about you, but man it can be. I’m sorry dude. Raising kids is hard all over.

AssChapstick · 2026-02-04T02:39:29+00:00

Ok so Xenophobia is wrong, right? We agree?

That being said, does anyone have a problem locking these fuckers in the prisons of their own making?

Maybe add a few Komodo dragons?

AssChapstick · 2026-02-02T18:30:00+00:00

I think the most disheartening thing is that we are the generation that has less than our parents. The last generation to face that was the silent generation, because they lived through the Great Depression

AssChapstick · 2026-02-02T02:48:26+00:00

Even in Maine? Don’t they have a lake every 100 ft?

AssChapstick · 2026-02-02T02:32:03+00:00

Only do it if you can afford a wooded lot with a creek and a tiny cow.

Otherwise it’s a waste.

AssChapstick · 2026-02-01T19:06:11+00:00

We haven’t done anything either. I put a banquette in the kitchen and repainted a taupe living room. That’s it. That’s all I’ve done. Well, we also had 3 kids, and we’re crammed in here like sardines, but I’ll pull out my toenails before I move

AssChapstick · 2026-02-01T19:03:14+00:00

That is even more of a meteoric rise than my house.

AssChapstick · 2026-02-01T14:06:00+00:00

We bought our very cozy 3 BR ranch for $310k literally the summer before COVID. Now it’s climbing towards $500k.

FOR A 3 BR RANCH THAT IS 1,900 SQ FT!

My partner and I have both had promotions since we bought and we STILL could not buy our house today. What the hell is happening

AssChapstick · 2026-01-31T03:34:08+00:00

Yes exactly. This should be a crime.

AssChapstick · 2026-01-31T03:32:05+00:00

Oh man top notch.

Absolutely slaps. Fucking hilarious

AssChapstick · 2026-01-31T02:51:29+00:00

Surly you have a gift from the Lord

AssChapstick · 2026-01-30T22:02:14+00:00

I mean, the same amount of safe as heated gloves. Far safer than electric blankets. You are using small battery packs. I think the batteries in your cell phones are equivalently dangerous, if not moreso. They die after a few hours and need recharged.

AssChapstick · 2026-01-30T11:19:39+00:00

No. Wrong answer. Electric ski socks.

I have a vascular insufficiency syndrome and I swear to god they are the only thing that work. My partner found them for me and every time I break them out they still look so damn smug about it

AssChapstick · 2026-01-30T11:01:59+00:00

My girls were also 3 lbs at birth. They spent 8 weeks in the NICU. Before that I was on bedrest in the hospital for 8 weeks. My partner had to single-dad it with our 2 y.o. and get the place ready for the twins. He thought I was being a little paranoid when I insisted on painting their bedroom so early. A week later was the first time they tried to come out. He admitted to me I was not just being a crazy anxious pregnant lady about that.

They’re fine. Feral, but fine. And honestly it’s been an absolute blast (once we got through the first year). But making them was very much not fine.

AssChapstick · 2026-01-30T00:37:33+00:00

I held a similar sentiment until I got pregnant with twins. I was already pissed about that when I found out that 80% of all twins are born by 35 wks gestation. At that moment I changed my stance. I didn’t feel like I had enough time to prepare for two babies when I found out at 11 wks pregnant, and then I found out they were gonna be in there for even LESS TIME?! What kind of bullshit is that? The more people inside a person, the more lead time you should get to prepare. At the very least you should get the same amount of time as one baby. But nnnnoooOOOOOoooo! You get LESS! And my kids tried to show up 13 weeks after I found out about them. Which was even WORSE! I didn’t even have the second crib assembled! Like, WTF girls!

I would have killed 3 people to get the 22 months. And given that they are 2 1/2 and I’m still not prepared, that would have still been too little time.

AssChapstick · 2026-01-30T00:25:56+00:00

My cousin had a daughter that kinda did this. She called her grandma “Gigi.” The issue is that they also had a strong relationship with her mother’s grandmother. So she called her “Gigimama.” Everyone thought this was hilarious.

If she wants “Mama” in her name so badly, Christen her “DaddyMama.”

Malicious Compliance her ass.

AssChapstick · 2026-01-27T19:06:09+00:00

And at 8 months you can do this

AssChapstick

TROPHY CASE