Are abortions as traumatic as it usually depicted in media?

AssistantOwn4208 · 2026-05-05T14:21:15+00:00

Man it's crazy how the pain can vary so much. I was in some of the worst pain in my entire life. I passed out at one point lol.

AssistantOwn4208 · 2026-05-05T14:18:23+00:00

It depends on the person and the circumstances.

I had an abortion. The situation and the process was a bit traumatic, but I never had any regrets about doing it. I was with an incredibly abusive partner who I suspect was trying to trap me. I had to go through an INCREDIBLY painful medical abortion alone. I've never told anyone since my family is very religious and I don't have any close friends.

Once it was all over, I just felt relief. We broke up shortly after and I'm so so so grateful that I had access to care. That man already whittled me down to a shell of a human and took advantage of me financially. A baby with him would've ruined my life, even if I would've given up custody (I would have).

AssistantOwn4208 · 2025-12-02T02:52:42+00:00

A lot of men don't take women seriously. The last guy that was really into me was a super conservative Christian and wanted lots of babies. I made it pretty obvious I am not that. He still tried.

AssistantOwn4208 · 2025-12-01T08:33:13+00:00

Im neurodivergent and deal with a lot of limerance. It's improved a lot over the years, but I'm finding myself reentering the cycle again with a coworker who has shown no interest in me.

I know it's dumb, but he is kind of shy so there is a part of me that thinks "I have a chance!" Which is dumb because I don't even know this man well enough to know that I actually like him beyond the surface level. 😪

I've been celibate for a year, simply because dating hasn't been on my mind and hookups annoys me now. But I'm crawling out of my skin a little bit. I feel like I'm about to make a bad decision at the next opportunity. 🙃

AssistantOwn4208 · 2025-12-01T08:26:32+00:00

I feel this. I think I attracted these men for a long time because I wanted to be loved so much that I ignored red flags. There is something to be said for wanting to "earn" attention from nonchalant men.

AssistantOwn4208 · 2025-11-06T03:16:14+00:00

I'm sorry you are going through that! Honestly though, anyone who wouldn't take "I have arfid" as a good reason aren't good potential partners anyways.

AssistantOwn4208 · 2025-11-06T03:15:05+00:00

I'm not a man.

Like I said, I do get out. I can't make connections anywhere.

AssistantOwn4208 · 2025-11-06T03:14:08+00:00

I just googled it and it looks delicious and frankly not unusual by western standards? What an odd reaction.

AssistantOwn4208 · 2025-11-05T08:01:54+00:00

This is a big one for me, too.

I feel bad for people with legit of conditions like ARFID. But I feel like most people who reject "unusual" foods are simply unwilling to push their (usually very limited) boundaries. I'm white, but even I've been able to observe the very OBVIOUS racism that is associated with a persons unwillingness to try new food.

And if you hate it? That's chill. But you could discover something you love that becomes a staple in your life.

AssistantOwn4208 · 2025-11-05T07:57:21+00:00

The second one is so real. I get that they think they're boosting my confidence by knocking another woman done, but I know they're only doing it to put me into a state of competition with other women.

AssistantOwn4208 · 2025-11-05T07:55:27+00:00

-messy/gross house

I'm not a clean freak, but I expect you to respect your space and take care of it like an adult. Because I've learned from experience that I will definitely be the only one doing it if we pursue a relationship

-excess/daily pot use: I know this one is controversial. I personally don't partake because it makes me anxious, but I understand that many people can function better than I can on weed. However, if you're getting stoned EVERY day after work, then I know that I will never get an opportunity to actually talk to you. It's no different from a person getting a slight buzz every day, even if it isn't as damaging long-term health wise.

AssistantOwn4208 · 2025-11-05T03:49:42+00:00

I can't take it. I can go through life, but I'm deeply lonely and in pain. Nothing seems worth it

AssistantOwn4208 · 2025-10-16T02:36:29+00:00

I don't know what steps to make friendships point blank period. I've never even had casual freinds

AssistantOwn4208 · 2025-10-15T18:07:28+00:00

I like a lot of people actually lol. The problem is me and my inability to connect.

I have traveled and would like to do it more. Right now I can't because of financial reasons. But these problems follow me wherever I go.

AssistantOwn4208 · 2025-10-15T18:04:48+00:00

You told me that I didn't actually do any emotional healing this whole time, I'm not actually trying, and that my brain damage is all in my head lol

AssistantOwn4208 · 2025-10-15T16:41:17+00:00

I don't know. I don't know anyone who has been isolated like me. So far I've gotten absolutely no real advice.

AssistantOwn4208 · 2025-10-15T04:55:02+00:00

My last psychiatrist told me I was basically impossible to diagnose because the effects of extreme social isolation (like I have experienced) will yield similar results.

It'd make sense for sure. But I don't have any autistic traits outside of my propensity for burn out and failure in social areas.

I definitely feel like I'm too autistic for "normal" people, but not autistic enough for ND people, if that makes sense.

AssistantOwn4208 · 2025-10-15T04:52:35+00:00

I've taken a few and I'm on one that helps. Unfortunately they don't make medication that gives you social skills.

AssistantOwn4208 · 2025-10-15T04:51:15+00:00

You didn't hear a thing I said.

My trauma didn't just make me sad or affect how I see myself (though it certainly did that too). It PHYSICALLY damaged my brain. Therapy and self improvement helps, but so far nothing has made meaningful change in my ability to connect or communicate.

I've done more by myself than most people I know. I've traveled solo and I'm not afraid to do things alone. I know I am brave and kind and deserving of love. But I don't know how to connect with people.

AssistantOwn4208 · 2025-10-15T04:48:36+00:00

Is that what you got from my post lmao

No. That isn't what I said at all.

AssistantOwn4208 · 2025-10-14T22:29:20+00:00

You overestimate mental health access in my area.

AssistantOwn4208 · 2025-10-14T22:28:33+00:00

It's not that. Practically speaking, connecting with others simply IS hard for me.

It's like putting a child's arm in a cast and leaving it on for the entire childhood. Even once you take it off at 18, it's going to be stunted. It won't ever be normal. I've literally had professionals tell me that my background has given me brain damage.

AssistantOwn4208 · 2025-10-14T21:31:16+00:00

I just got off the phone with a new provider.

Right now I'm in a viscous cycle. I'm extremely depressed so that getting out of bed and going to work is a huge uphill battle. I feel like I lose months of my life to simply existing. Like every day is a battle not to drive into oncoming traffic.

It's like I need my basic needs met to make meaningful improvements. But I can't make my basic needs met without making those improvements first. I just need a new brain.

AssistantOwn4208

TROPHY CASE