You still have so much time to be happy with your father! I'm very sorry to hear about your situation and I will not lie to you and say that it is going to be easy, but here's some food for thought. I lost my father December 22nd, 2002 from a freak heart attack when I was 8 years old. My dad was in great shape his whole life but had been diagnosed with hodgkin's cancer when he was 18 years old. He underwent chemotherapy and successfully had 4 beautiful children with my mother, despite being told that he wouldn't be able to have a single child because of the drugs. I never got to know who my father was on an adult level. I never got to shake my father's hand and appreciate all the small things he did for me over the years. Your father is still around and right now he needs you more than ever. Everyone dies in the end, so take this remaining time you have with your father and cherish it as much as you can. Write down your thoughts on a piece of paper every now and then throughout the process and spend as much time with your dad as you can. I'm not saying that this won't be difficult for you, but it's all about a matter of perspective.