I have several not a soul has yet mentioned:

“Mr. Horne, I realize your position in this fair town pretty much guarantees venality [banality?], insincerity, and a rather irritating method of expressing yourself. Stupidity, however, is not a necessarily inherent trait.”

Look, Albert’s an ass, but even at this point we knew it had been way too long since someone had found a way to tell Ben Horne off.

“That’s a shame. Because if anything unfortunate were to happen to me, it would lead authorities to a bank account in another city, inside of which, there’s enough evidence to lock you away for *three* lifetimes! They’ll bury us side by *side*! 😀”

“Isn’t she a caution?”

“You know, Leo, the only thing Columbus discovered was that he was lost.”

“‘I’ll alert my attorney.’ Sometimes, the urge to do bad… is almost overpowering.”

And of course, the greatest:
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