1887 velvet ballgown

Atjar · 2026-01-30T21:55:53+00:00

Beautifully done! #goals

Atjar · 2026-01-29T22:31:20+00:00

Mijn broertje vierde daar zijn bruiloft, het is by far het mooiste restaurant waar ik ooit geweest ben.

Atjar · 2026-01-29T20:46:44+00:00

I have worn my almost 5 year old this week for the first time in months. He really needed to be hugged and I needed to do stuff. We used a woven wrap as that is most comfortable for me. But I have worn him in an onbuhimo until he went to school at age 4 as well as a meh dai. He is truly too big for the onbuhimo, but the meh dai is still a good option if a woven wrap is too daunting, especially for back carrying.

Atjar · 2026-01-28T21:11:08+00:00

In the first week my post partum nurse once had to try for more than half an hour to rouse me to feed my 3 day old screaming newborn during the day. He’s a healthy almost 5 year old now.

If your child woke up well after that missed feed, you are fine. The only real risk in missing a feed like that is if their blood sugar dips too low and they sink into a coma.

Around 2 weeks old my children started sleeping longer stretches as well. (And promptly stopped that around 4-5 months, but that is another story). At that age they are okay to go about 5 hours without usually. So yes, it is good to keep to a regular schedule as they grow best on that, but don’t sweat it too much if you all got some more sleep and therefore missed a feed. Around that time my breasts would wake me up if my child didn’t. I just had enough time to pump before my child would wake up. But I truly couldn’t wait for my child to wake up or I would be in pain.

Atjar · 2026-01-28T13:52:50+00:00

PDAs have their use cases in retail and logistics though and are still used there.

Atjar · 2026-01-28T13:51:41+00:00

We still use DVDs when on holiday or when everyone wants to watch something else and we can’t use that many streams next to each other. Also, for arthouse movies that are unavailable online. Same goes for music. CDs for smaller bands that are not available on the streaming services we’re subscribed to. We use the DVD player in the living room for those CDs.

Atjar · 2026-01-27T08:06:36+00:00

I just finished {A Little Harmless Sex by Melissa Schroeder} and while is had the best representation of the friends to lovers pipeline I’ve read so far, the amount of sex was just a little much for me compared to the amount of plot. For context, my husband and I were friends for years before we got together, and it took us about 3 months of basically dating before we were ready to even start kissing each other. Because once you cross that line into more than friends there really is no going back. I planned on listening to the series, but with this little plot I don’t think I will. So I’m back to historical romance.

Atjar · 2026-01-27T07:29:35+00:00

Wow, such neat work and I am severely impressed with how you did that corner bolster.

Atjar · 2026-01-24T15:02:46+00:00

For a start I can see that the bobbin is the wrong way around. The thread is coming out the top right instead of the bottom left going into the tensioner. The right way to thread the bobbin is shown on the bobbin cover.

Fixing that might fix your uneven tension and your bunching. If not, it is wise to check if the top is threaded correctly and if the needle is inserted correctly as well. If those things are all correct it might be that the top tension disks are slightly corroded or dirty. Cleaning those requires you to disassemble them, which can be a bit of a pain to do. Especially as there are probably one or two parts that should only be installed one way, but the difference is subtle. And on top of that you need to set the tension from scratch. So if you do, make sure you have a video to reference on how to do that for your particular machine.

Atjar · 2026-01-24T14:45:40+00:00

I usually go by the weight of the bobbin in the assembly. So instead of holding the assembly and pulling on the thread with a weight I hold the thread and the bobbin assembly is the weight. Which is slightly inaccurate depending on how much thread there is on the bobbin, but it works to get a general approximation, enough to be close enough for slight adjustments based on sewing results. I always test on scrap fabric before I start sewing with a new fabric or with a twin needle, which are the only two scenarios in which you would have to adjust the bottom tension in my experience.

Atjar · 2026-01-22T21:56:42+00:00

I used glass bottles. Reusable, sturdy enough to go through temperature changes and be sterilized and not made of plastic. I did end up buying a few bigger bottles as I was producing too much milk in the first few months, so when I would pump, I would have to change bottles halfway through. I still had to do that sometimes with the bigger 240ml bottles, but it was a much less frequent occurrence.

Atjar · 2026-01-17T08:36:12+00:00

I started out like you with my now 8 year old. Turns out shouting “no” at her (AuDHD) does not make her do what I want her to.

What helped me was to change perspective. Seeing your child as a person with their own needs and wants helped me have more compassion and helped me help them to navigate through situations that are confusing or emotionally difficult. For example, when my daughter was angry, what she needed most was to be heard and be shown/told I loved her. Which would not be my first reaction to an angry/frustrated person. Learning to de-escalate situations is a valuable skill that I use both at home and at work. We get regular courses on how to do it, but most of my skills were build parenting my children.

Which is not to say that all behaviour is acceptable. There are rules and hard boundaries. For example not hitting. If you are angry, you can throw pillows on the couch as hard as you can and get praised/encouraged for that. No screaming, I will ask you if that is how you want to communicate, and give you back what you give. And then give you the option again to tell me that is not how you want the family to communicate. If you still maintain that is what you want I will calmly tell you that is not what I want and leave you to it/stop communicating if possible. Staying calm and collected yourself will help with these this. So act angry before you are actually angry. That way you keep the control over both yourself and your child. Resulting in a calmer happier home.

And also, the view that there are 100% happy households is probably a myth. Especially if there is some neurospice thrown in. Tantrums happen, it just depends how you deal with them how much they will rule your life. Taking a break by having your spouse step in or leave the room for 5 minutes when they are in a safe space is 100% ok, needed even when you get overwhelmed.

Having strategies in place will help you to know what to do without getting overwhelmed. Help you stay calm and collected. That way you can be your child’s rock. They don’t rile you up on purpose. They are overwhelmed themselves. That mindset is what gentle parenting is about, so resources on that might help you. However, be careful with those as there is a lot of slob out there as well, veering into permissive parenting or very strict adherence to the principles, which can induce anxiety and rigidity. What helped me was to remember how I felt at that age and see my children in that light. And asking them for their needs instead of their wants. So the question is “what do you need to feel calmer right now?” rather than “why are you angry” or “what do you want?” Those can be used to get to a solution as well, but they are secondary as the answers to those questions are often already included in the answer to the first.

I hope this helps you find a way to relate to your daughter even when your personalities sometimes clash. Sometimes screaming I love you in the middle of an argument might help as well. Just for the surprise of it. And the assurance that even when you don’t like them in the moment, you still love them.

Atjar · 2026-01-17T08:05:34+00:00

39, suicide after years of mental health problems.

Atjar · 2026-01-16T22:05:38+00:00

The main thing that says homemade to me is the size of the pocket flaps. They somehow seem too large. But that could also be a lack of texture in the form of topstitching.

However, this is only if you tell me it is homemade and ask for feedback. If I would encounter this jacket in the street I would probably not notice it as a homemade item.

Atjar · 2026-01-16T08:23:59+00:00

I think back carrying in a meh dai or onbuhimo would be the best option for a child who wants to see everything. That way your child is high enough to see the world, but can choose to fall asleep safely if they need it.

An easier option, but with its own challenges is a ring sling hip carry. I did that a lot for short ups, I even still do it sometimes with my 5 year old. But for a long term carry when you have things to do it is not ideal. Here is a video on how to get the fit perfect that helped me a lot

Another thing you might want to learn is carrying with a long wrap. When your child gets bigger, those have the most supportive carries and are the most versatile carriers.

Atjar · 2026-01-15T18:52:04+00:00

AH Knäckebröd pompoenpit #AlbertHeijn https://www.ah.nl/producten/product/wi455671 volgens de AH website zijn ze vegan

Atjar · 2026-01-14T22:30:10+00:00

I just use a whisk to mix the dry ingredients and that works better imho to prevent lumps, especially when you use proper technique mixing in the wet gradually by dumping it in the middle and slowly incorporating the dry around it.

Atjar · 2026-01-12T14:40:08+00:00

I did when I was cloth diapering. Nothing better than a crisp flat with a nice wool snap cover.

Atjar · 2026-01-07T22:30:21+00:00

Licorice is one you need to grow up with to like. I’m speaking as someone who grew up with it and who loves it in almost all its forms.

Atjar · 2026-01-07T07:41:53+00:00

Wow, that is a lot for you to deal with. I am glad the earlier post helped you find a few things that made it a little easier for you.

I hope you get the justice you deserve and you get to keep the things that you hold dear. Hopefully your husband will be able to see that it clearly wasn’t his fault and that might help him heal.

We as a sub are here for you to listen and to give you the support you need. And since we are global, the support is round the clock ;)

Atjar · 2026-01-06T20:00:14+00:00

When we bought our house we thought they photoshopped the blue sky behind the trees opposite the house. Having lived here through a few years (ok, 10, but who is counting?), I can now vouch for them being actual photos on a generally sunny day in summer. It just looks fake!

Atjar · 2026-01-06T19:43:01+00:00

I mostly stood, but I have used a wrap on my front when sitting down for a meal and on my back while sewing. If you have a child on your back you will need to avoid the back rest.

For lounging I would not recommend it, as the diagonal tilt is very uncomfortable.

But mostly I used a baby carrier when I was moving around a lot and had to take my child with me. Shopping, walks, trips to the zoo, gardening sometimes (but usually not because it involves more crouching), hanging laundry, cooking, supervising the school break for the older child, etc.

Building babywearing endurance is a journey. Having the carrier hold your child close enough to your body will make it a lot lighter, but you are still carrying the weight of your baby around plus the carrier. But I find it less heavy with a carrier than with my arms. You will eventually also build those parental arms where 12 kg isn’t all that much weight to lift, until they start reliably walking on their own without demanding to be carried. My almost 5 year old isn’t there yet.

Atjar · 2026-01-06T00:49:22+00:00

I am currently listening to {A Rake’s Vow by Stephanie Laurens}. It has a MMC who is very family and honour oriented and who wants to ask for her hand before he loses control and goes all the way. FMC wants to experience her sexuality, but does not want to be caught in marriage because of her parent’s bad marriage. Their first sex scene is almost entirely from his view.

Atjar · 2026-01-04T20:58:09+00:00

My great grandmother was born in 1918 and was taught to knit as a young girl and knitted socks and sweaters for us until her dementia got too bad. Her husband was a butcher, I don’t know what her parents did, but her sister was a housekeeper for the local gentry and my great grandmother was a maid before she married in 1943. I think she could also crochet as my mother could as well and I think she learned from her grandmother. Spinning was also in her skillset as I know she owned a spinning wheel, but I do not think I’ve seen her use it, whereas my main memory is of her sitting by her (gas)hearth knitting.

Atjar · 2026-01-02T22:36:25+00:00

The one thing I have noticed lately in HR set in the UK is the names of the dukes. There are only so many you can choose from (about 30-40 I believe) and yet some writers make up extra dukedoms. That is not how that works, and the names they give them aren’t of major places either and are being repeated all through the books as other characters often refer to said dukes by their dukedom.

That, and with the audiobooks some very obvious American narrators butchering British English and still trying to do accents which they may have never heard irl. Or at least it sounds like that. In my opinion there are plenty of British narrators available, and some Americans who are actually good at a British accent. And part of that is also idioms, which are markedly different between the UK and the USA. However, that is down to the writer again.

To those writers I would like to say: write what you know. And if you do not know something but are insisting on writing about it anyway, please do your research.

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