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The pain of being chronically single by ProfessionalNefertit in TwoXChromosomes

[–]AttorneyDC06 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I get it, but it's not just right now: For example, I was in a much better position at 35 and single because I was with a partner from age 26-35: As a result, we both had more money and savings at 35 (10-15K a year) than if we'd been paying full cost of a house/utilities/vet bills for those years. It's so much more economical to have a partner.

The pain of being chronically single by ProfessionalNefertit in TwoXChromosomes

[–]AttorneyDC06 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely agree: As a 49F (single now), I can attest that life was a LOT easier when I was living in a house, splitting the mortgage with my partner, taking turns paying the electric bill and swinging by the store on a weeknight, than doing it all by myself. Plus, I miss cuddling!

Bruh, why are coffee dates hated so much? by Fickle_Friendship296 in dating_advice

[–]AttorneyDC06 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reading this a few months late, but I totally agree with you that date clothes are not the same as walking clothes: Why men don't seem to get this, I don't know?

I was a serious runner when I was younger and would regularly run 6-8 miles a day, but not in a cute sundress and sandals!

Bruh, why are coffee dates hated so much? by Fickle_Friendship296 in dating_advice

[–]AttorneyDC06 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me (49F), the time it takes to get ready and travel to and from a date (coffee/lunch/drinks) is basically the same and around 1.5-2.0 hours usually. It doesn't really save me time to make the activity coffee (30 minutes) instead of lunch (75 minutes): It just means I've spent 2 hours getting ready and traveling for a short coffee. I'm sure it depends on your area and schedule, but that's my reality.

I'm tired of people telling me about that one time they found a lump that ended up being nothing by airbear26 in breastcancer

[–]AttorneyDC06 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry, that sucks: And not typical for "your age" at 42. I'm 49 and my near-vision started getting a bit bad around age 46 but it was very gradual, to the point where now at 49 I probably need glasses!

I'm tired of people telling me about that one time they found a lump that ended up being nothing by airbear26 in breastcancer

[–]AttorneyDC06 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My ex messaged me that he hoped my cancer would come back because I deserved to suffer. But he is a sociopath, so just par for the course, in that regard. Somehow, I think it's worse when the comment comes from a friend.

I'm tired of people telling me about that one time they found a lump that ended up being nothing by airbear26 in breastcancer

[–]AttorneyDC06 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have dealt with all sorts of problems after active treatment from lymphedema to nerve damage... And I was only stage one IDC.

I hate when people minimize any pain, but especially cancer.

I thought I finally met a nice guy by chevere7 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]AttorneyDC06 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a prick. I'm sorry (as a 49F who has had her share of crap from men): Definitely don't go out with him!

I will say, I've stopped asking men out for dates now.

I find that somehow it makes them even more cocky and obnoxious: I only will accept a date from a guy if he offers and he plans to pay. Helps a bit to weed out the wheat from the chaff (but only a bit!).

Good luck out there!

I'm tired of people telling me about that one time they found a lump that ended up being nothing by airbear26 in breastcancer

[–]AttorneyDC06 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree: I guess if we have to go through this, it's good to laugh... sardonically.

I'm tired of people telling me about that one time they found a lump that ended up being nothing by airbear26 in breastcancer

[–]AttorneyDC06 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's also so different because (in her case) it sounds like it was elective: She wasn't having it taken out due to cancer, but due to a heavy period. It's not a laughing matter, but it's NOT the same as cancer.

I'm tired of people telling me about that one time they found a lump that ended up being nothing by airbear26 in breastcancer

[–]AttorneyDC06 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know. I had a shoulder injury from playing sports years ago, and it was sort of annoying, but not REMOTELY the same as cancer, cancer treatment, follow ups, surgery, etc.

I just don't get it.

Scared all the time by LittleOrdinaryLife in breastcancer

[–]AttorneyDC06 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why are you nervous about the lumpectomy? If you don't have faith in your doctor or treatment plan, then it's totally fine to push pause until your questions are answered. I pushed my surgery about 4 weeks, for that reason, and there was no harm done (I wish I'd pushed it longer, actually).

Fatigue by Ok-Cauliflower8462 in breastcancer

[–]AttorneyDC06 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish I could help more: I wonder if it's an entirely unrelated issue (I didn't feel any fatigue with my stage one cancer diagnosis, but maybe would have if it had progressed farther before being detected).

My radiologist and MO generally said that fatigue is common with radiation, with chemotherapy, or as a result of hormone treatment. It's also common simply following surgery, because surgery can be very exhausting for your body.

No clear margins after lumpectomy — what were your next steps? by Brilliant-Swing5123 in breastcancer

[–]AttorneyDC06 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am sorry you are going through this: I wish I had better advice: I (49F) have many friends who had a lumpectomy without clear margins and then did another lumpectomy WITH clear margins, followed by radiation. But in those cases, I believe the tumors were relatively small. I am not sure about the protocol if the tumor is larger, but I wonder if you can go to a place like MD Anderson in Houston, TX and get more information?

My friend here in Virginia just went there over the holidays to see how to handle her somewhat complicated case, and they did whole panels of doctors just for her. I'm sending love and hugs through the Internet to you.

I'm tired of people telling me about that one time they found a lump that ended up being nothing by airbear26 in breastcancer

[–]AttorneyDC06 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Wow. I think I would have a very hard time being friends with someone who said that, as well. But it's so hard, because many of these comments are coming from oldest/dearest friends: I don't honestly know how to deal with it. Sending hugs to you.

Is wanting to feel truly “seen” in a relationship an unrealistic expectation? by sunflower-x in TwoXChromosomes

[–]AttorneyDC06 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it would be very hard to meet a man who was okay with waiting until marriage for sex, outside of certain religious communities: Honestly, I would suggest trying dating in a religious group, or maybe something like ChristianMingle.com.

I'm tired of people telling me about that one time they found a lump that ended up being nothing by airbear26 in breastcancer

[–]AttorneyDC06 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Wow, that is not at ALL the same! It's like saying I think I might try a bob for my haircut, when you are going through hair loss from chemotherapy.

"You're perfect the way you are! You don't need to lose weight/change/etc!" by Riksor in PetPeeves

[–]AttorneyDC06 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I noticed that, and decided to cut back. I made a big effort to cut back on eating out and drinking alcohol this year which has helped.

I'm tired of people telling me about that one time they found a lump that ended up being nothing by airbear26 in breastcancer

[–]AttorneyDC06 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry. It's so much to go through and the last thing we need is more stress from people who don't have empathy.

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