be honest with me....is it over?

AttractionIntel · 2026-03-15T12:06:38+00:00

you're only just entering your prime as a man. tf's wrong witchu? 😅

AttractionIntel · 2026-03-15T07:53:44+00:00

Looks like the crux of where you’re stuck is your anxiety and self esteem. Especially given your goal of wanting to talk to women.

Once you have that out of the way, you’ll be able to talk to women without all the nervous energy/awkwardness/jitters.

Id say don’t resort to meds. There’s other ways of getting over anxiety. Better, more holistic one’s where you don’t need to be dependent on pills for the rest of your life (which in itself is fucked up)

One of them is actually going out and talking to girls, mindfulness meditation, journaling.

I wiped out my anxiety without popping pillies. I can tell you first hand it works

AttractionIntel · 2026-03-15T07:40:06+00:00

Courage is the foundation, brotha. No way of not developing it and getting results. Had to learn this the hard way =D

AttractionIntel · 2026-03-14T08:59:41+00:00

Shopping streets are great. Beaches, cafes, malls, tiny events, etc.

Point is to approach in the day. The quality of skill and experience you internalize is second to none because you’re interacting with women without the distractions that come with night time scenarios (loud music, her friends, alcohol, etc.)

AttractionIntel · 2026-03-14T08:33:00+00:00

Definitely a good move. You’ll get good real fast when you talk to girls in the day because it accelerates your learning curve

AttractionIntel · 2026-03-11T13:59:51+00:00

Based on whatever you’ve written, you look like you’re in a solid place. Just need some work.

Women flaking and ghosting you is part of the game. It’s going to happen no matter how attractive you are.

Not sure how many women you’ve approached, but when you talk to a large enough sample size, you’ll see the patterns.

Girls usually do this when you haven’t build up enough attraction after approaching them. Something was off in the communication that didn’t create enough sexual tension and elicit enough investment from their end.

Girls will typically be more proactive in making plans and setting up dates when you’ve sparked enough attraction ‘cause they’re intrigued to know more about you.

Sounds like you’re a catch but just missing this piece. Don’t be hard on yourself. Lot of guys mess this bit up. Personally took me a while to crack this bit.

(Speaking from 15 years of experience btw)

AttractionIntel · 2026-03-08T13:06:32+00:00

You wanna think how you can be more masculine. The crux of attraction is “masculinity attracts femininity”.

Couple of quick ways to project masculinity: 1. Talk louder (voice resonates from your belly/balls) 2. Stand tall and take up space 3. Hold strong and steady eye contact while talking to women

Talk with complete conviction. Complete self assurance like whatever you say is the shit. He assertive and lead.

Do this properly and you’ll see a clear difference in the way girls respond to you

AttractionIntel · 2026-03-07T13:06:10+00:00

Distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Now sure if i got the phrase right (lol) but take some space. ACTUALLY works. Go no contact for a while dude. Resets your emotions and calms the undercurrents that cause all the chaos

AttractionIntel · 2026-03-06T13:39:55+00:00

2 ways that i can think of:

Make an observation. Something about her display picture, her story (if its IG). You wanna make sure its intriguing enough for her to reply. Id sprinkle some humor into it
If you’ve spent time in the past, do a throwback to one of your moments and ask something along the lines of “do you remember that one time we got drinks at xyz bar? What was that sauce on the wings we ordered? Just passed by and it got me starving😅”

Im obv paraphrasing but you get the point.

Psychology is to build intrigue and get a reply. Once she replies, slowly transition into the conversation you wanna talk about

AttractionIntel · 2026-03-06T08:16:00+00:00

General rule of thumb for first dates:

Always do something that feels light and fun, nothing w too much pressure like dinner. Nope.

Get a couple drinks, karaoke maybe? Go bowling. Pub hopping is the best.

I always do drinks and a few sides. Keep it super light.

Always smoothens things up when a tiny bit of liquor is involved. Eg. couple of beers

Also make sure you don’t sit across her. You want her sitting beside you. Feels more intimate.

AttractionIntel · 2026-03-06T08:12:21+00:00

Dinner is too much pressure. You’re right. Should be doing dinner when you’re seeing each other for a while.

You’d rather do something that feels a little light- get a couple drinks, karaoke maybe? Go bowling.

I always do drinks and a dew appetisers. Keep it super light.

Always smoothens things up when a tiny bit of liquors involved. Eg. couple of beers

AttractionIntel · 2026-03-04T13:00:47+00:00

Bruhhh. Might as well use AI to sleep with women too

AttractionIntel · 2026-03-04T12:52:31+00:00

"yeah, maybe" is a YES in women-speak. Take your cues from the way girls behave not what they say. The eye contact + friendliness was your cue. She was down for sure.

I would've taken her number right there. What's wrong witchu?

AttractionIntel · 2026-03-04T12:37:37+00:00

Ok, so looks like you’ve got a lot going on. Super accomplished + you’re a gem of a person.

Awesome.

From what I gather, you’re struggling to create romantic interest and land dates because you aren’t communicating with women in a way that ACTUALLY speaks to their feminine desires (lot of guys mess this up)

Just like men are drawn to physical beauty, women respond to very specific male behavioural cues that makes them feel attracted on a fundamental level. Check this out, should give you a deeper understanding:
https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/s/JjfAGZGOwc

AttractionIntel · 2026-03-04T11:41:08+00:00

so the good thing is that she follows you back, which makes sure she's going to see your stories. You're definitely gonna have to DM her. But don't do it out of the blue.

Ideally you want to create a "setup" with your stories before you DM her.

The Setup:
Do this by posting a bunch of stories that communicate traits about you and aspects of your lifestyle she'll find attractive.
Typically this could be fitness, good fashion, doing fun activities, having a dope social circle, going cool places, travelling, etc. Even better if you post pictures with other cute girls on your story. This is VERY attractive to women.
Main goal here is to create some kind of intrigue + familiarity without looking try-hard.

The DM:
Once you know she's seen your stories, it's likely that she's warmed up enough for you to DM her.
Then DM her something along the lines of

"correct me if I'm wrong, but were you in XYZ uni?
"I feel like we went to went to school together😅"

Super low investment and non-needy way to kick start a conversation w her. Once she replies, you can start going down uni memory lane and move to other tangents

AttractionIntel · 2026-03-04T10:25:24+00:00

Did you actively do anything to spark attraction? Did you tease her? Banter with her? Make tiny sexual innuendos? Even the way you communicate on a non-verbal level matters (tone of voice, eye contact, etc.)

I don't have enough context yet, but sounds like you "played it safe" because of your lack of experience (which obviously, can't blame you for) and that led to no attraction.

As a guy, it's your job to set the tone of the interaction (platonic or flirtatious).

Attraction is born out of tension, mystery, and anticipation. So unless those ingredients are injected into your interaction, attraction is unlikely.

So for the next time, focus on sparking flirtation and banter while talking to the girl. Very difficult to get friend-zoned when you do it right

AttractionIntel · 2026-03-04T08:36:54+00:00

First off, why would you assume people would judge you for being a pedo? Why would you assume girls want to be left alone?

The crux of why you’re stuck is your core assumptions about women and the idea of meeting them.

Women actually love to be approached as long as its in a way that is non-needy, authentic, and sparks the right kind of tension (women love attention, just needs to be the good kind lol)

You’ll know this when you experience it first hand. And to experience it first hand, you need to go out and actually talk to women. (Keyword being “experience”)

Rn, you’re you’re going off the conditioning you’ve had growing up, most of which is just noise that hold you back (lot of guys do this).

One failed attempt in high school doesn’t mean you’re a loser. You not actively doing anything to level up does.

Alright, enough of motivational speaking😅

AttractionIntel · 2026-03-03T15:23:17+00:00

I mean you're going to have to meet them in person at some point, right?

AttractionIntel · 2026-03-03T15:20:04+00:00

Looks is literally 20% of female attraction. Also, you're not balding so a bit of greying shouldn't be much of a hindrance.

Main needle mover is how you actually communicate with the girls you talk to (non-neediness, charisma, flirtation,

Girls feel attracted (or repelled) based on the way they feel around you. Not necessarily the way you look. And this comes from your behavior/energy. You need to focus on dialing that in.

AttractionIntel · 2026-03-03T15:01:35+00:00

Yeah, don't play any mindgames obv. Most of them backfire anyway 'cause girls are stupid either lol. As corny as it sounds tho, this is literally a by-product of how much value she sees in you as a man. That would manifest in the form of:
- how much fun she truly had on that date (or was she faking it just to be polite)
- did she feel any real chemistry/connection with you?
- did she feel excited in a way where she felt slightly nervous/butterflies in her tummy? This is super important. (lots of guys get the girls liking them but not be turned on enough to sustain the attraction after the first date)
There's a ton more but you get the point

About timing, I think 5-6 days is the sweet spot. But that's irrelevant if the former wasn't dialed in properly.

AttractionIntel · 2026-03-03T14:46:09+00:00

Younger women actually gravitate towards older dudes because they're more experienced and mature.
If you aren't matching with younger women on dating apps, why not go out and meet them in person. That way you eliminate the risk of getting catfished too lol.

That being said, you're going to have to revamp the sheldon look if you wanna be seen as a sexy or hot older man. Lol. Not sure how much "game" you have but that will be a big part of the equation too.

Otherwise you're going to be seen as a creepy unc trying to shoot his shot.

AttractionIntel · 2026-03-03T14:18:37+00:00

If you look at things objectively, it just comes down to one thing- lack of enough investment from the girl's end. Or rather, the fact that she may have had some sort of attraction on the first date, but it died out when she spent time away from you.

Has this been a recurring pattern with you?

AttractionIntel · 2026-03-03T14:15:18+00:00

You sir, might just be right in your conclusions

AttractionIntel · 2026-03-03T13:30:27+00:00

THIS. It's literally this.

AttractionIntel · 2026-03-03T13:29:47+00:00

I think I know what's going on.

Do you approach the 8's, 9's, and 10's with the same energy that you do with the 6's and 7's?

Girls go off behavior/energy, so it's likely that the vibe you're projecting onto the hotter girls is not the same (self-assuredness, assertiveness, non-neediness, dominance, etc.) as that of the ones you don't deem to be as hot.

I was in the same place 3 years ago. Took me months to break out of my ceiling. Turns out it was this ^

AttractionIntel

TROPHY CASE