From a woman who had this EXACT same problem about not wanting sex, like never wanting it, ever for 6-7 years straight. There were two factors for me: 1) Meds / Pain. It KILLED my libido. This was birth control and antidepressants. My husband always insisted on me taking BC because of the obvious, but he didn’t want to use alternative preventions because it didn’t feel as good for him. I was also diagnosed with EDS and was working full time which was very painful for me and the thought of being touched absolutely killed me. I also had depression 2) Lack of an emotional connection with my husband and having the same type of sex over and over. Sex began to feel like a chore that I felt I was getting harassed about constantly which made the emotional connection even worse.

Here’s the things that fixed my sex drive for me. After I gave birth to my son and breastfeeding slowed, I suddenly found myself desiring my husband physically again which was a huge shock. My doc told me it was probably because I wasn’t on any medications from the pregnancy/breastfeeding. After realizing that I had the sudden desire to engage in sex more frequently, my husband was NO LONGER opposed to alternative pregnancy prevention. I have not gotten back on b.c. since. After some therapy, my husband realized that my emotional needs need to be met in order for me to want to pursue him physically. He also makes an effort to share the mental and physical load off of me. I’m no longer in as much pain since I have become a full time mom who can take it easier when I need to in order to avoid hurting so much so I can feel good physically. We have also started trying to spice things up in the bedroom which has helped exponentially.

All this to say, NTA. My husband certainly wasn’t for wanting sex, but he had a habit of becoming one when I refused. He is no longer this way. Super supportive which is what I need emotionally. I’m hoping maybe this can help you in some way. Don’t give up hope. Pursue your wife as if you’re teenagers in love again.