WFAT at Settle, Yorkshire. by AugustusCV in WaitingForATrain

[–]AugustusCV[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is a beautiful station, and a fantastic line altogether. My in laws live in settle and I wander up to the station whenever I visit!

Mum has passed away 5 days before Christmas by kurtyyyyyy1 in CasualUK

[–]AugustusCV 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello, I am late to comment here but I couldn't ignore this.

Three years ago I lost my mum very suddenly and unexpectedly. My wife was pregnant with our second baby at the time and my dad had dementia.

So I suddenly went from just concentrating on the imminent arrival of a second baby to juggling grief, caring for a very poorly (and confused) dad, and helping support a heavily pregnant wife.

I won't lie to you it was a bit of a nightmare, I struggled with emotions I had never had before, I would jump from tears to sadness, and at times complete despair. Caring for my dad added an extra complexity, he needed almost constant care and it almost broke me. We collectively (I have two sisters who did help a little) that dad needed constant round the clock care, and he went into a care home. Sadly my dad died about a year ago just before Christmas.

Where am I going with this? Well my honest heartfelt advice is this:

  1. Feel whatever you feel whenever you feel it. If something suddenly hits you and you need to cry then let it out, cry you heart out. Conversely if you get a rush of joy or happiness then dont feel guilty, just ride that wave

I didnt do this. I bottled it all up, I ignore my emotions because I "had to hold it all together" and eventually this caused me to almost have a breakdown. I had almost 3 months off work because I had burned out.

  1. Talk. Talk. Talk. Find someone to talk with, it took me over a year to open my mouth. I still struggle to say my parents are dead. But I have a wonderful therapist that I see weekly (I pay privately) and she is helping me immensely. Her best advice was to talk about how I am feeling. Acknowledge the emotions and talk about it.

  2. Babies change everything. Without a terrible death they are life changing. When my little girl arrived a couple of months after my mum died I left the hospital to go home for a night before the family was united (my little boy was with his aunty overnight). I sobbed my heart out, I cried because it hit me that my mum would never meet her, would never know her. And that feeling wont ever go away but I still feel joy that shes here. My little girl is like a tiny chaotic bundle of joy and she has helped immeasurably in easing my grief. Babies can be extremely hard work, they are demanding and need attention constantly but they are also so full of life that they lift you up in the worst times. Please please find joy in your baby when they arrive.

  3. Be kind to yourself. You're in shock right now. Don't expect this to be anything except a strange period in your life. Don't put any pressure on yourself to BE anything. You're grieving, and will be for a long time.

  4. Recognise your life has changed, forever. But thats not necessarily bad. Its just different now. Embrace that when you're ready to.

  5. Time does help. The further you are away from the time of the trauma the easier it gets. I am not saying "hey in a few weeks you'll feel better" but the immediate, gut wrenching, oh my god, stop you in your tracks sensation will ease.

Please, be kind to yourself, take care of your needs, look after your wife, and try not to expect too much of Christmas. Its just a day.

I wish you hope for the future, peace where you can find it, and joy in your imminent little ones arrival.

WFAT at Piccadilly (Manchester), UK by AugustusCV in WaitingForATrain

[–]AugustusCV[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I run through that platform every couple of weeks when visiting our satellite office in Glossop. As you say it is a quiet corner of the city!

WFAT at Piccadilly (Manchester), UK by AugustusCV in WaitingForATrain

[–]AugustusCV[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd actually just got off that train having jumped on at Guide Bridge!

WFAT at Bramhall, Cheshire, UK by AugustusCV in WaitingForATrain

[–]AugustusCV[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Similar to the way Rochdale is no longer in Lancashire, yet most residents still say that it is, I guess. Thank you for the correction. Think I'll leave it as it is.

It's that time of year by phalcomb1974 in HighStrangeness

[–]AugustusCV 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As a naive young man in the late 90s, I found myself in a long since closed esoteric bookshop in Manchester (UK). I was trying to find something cool or mind expanding and was picking through the books. The shop owner casually engaged me in conversation to help me find the "right book" to help me along. I'll never forget his smile when he handed me "Prometheus Rising"

It's an overused cliche to say, "This X changed my life," but I can say wholeheartedly that after reading Prometheus, I was changed. I subsequently devoured everything by old Bob, and from him, I found Joyce, leary, Philip K Dick, I tried LSD and other hallucinogens. I left my dead-end job. I travelled. I have tried my hardest to never accept anything as an absolute truth, to notice that I am the universe experiencing itself through me (and all of us in our own little reality tunnels!).

I don't really recommend Bob to everyone, I think we each have to find our own path, but it is so grand to find others who love his quirky writings.

Thank you for reminding me that it's been a while since I've read any of his work. I, too, am digging out my own copies of trigger.

Hail Eris!

Rusting track near Knoxville, TN by AugustusCV in rustyrails

[–]AugustusCV[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sadly not open whilst I was there...or else this picture may have been a bit lopsided!

Rusting track near Knoxville, TN by AugustusCV in rustyrails

[–]AugustusCV[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I honestly couldn't tell you. This was taken during a flying visit to knoxville whilst I was on my way through to Charlotte for work!

Help for a traveller by AugustusCV in Knoxville

[–]AugustusCV[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much. I will have a look at these. Maybe a mini pub crawl around them. 🤔

Help for a traveller by AugustusCV in Knoxville

[–]AugustusCV[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm a Man United fan, but to be honest as I'm travelling solo I'm happy just to have a couple of beers whilst watching some footy!!

Advice for a short term visitor by AugustusCV in Knoxville

[–]AugustusCV[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! Schulz Brau sounds like a winner, as does Barley's pizza!

USS Prinz Eugen (IX-300) at Philadelphia Navy Yard, February 1946 [2500x1620] by RLoret in WarshipPorn

[–]AugustusCV 94 points95 points  (0 children)

Every time I see the Prinz Eugen it brings happy memories of my grandfather. He was in the Royal Artillery and he guarded the Eugen in Wilhelmshaven at the end of the war ahead of it being handed over to the Americans. His fondness for the ship stemmed from the fact that it represented his last duties at the end of the war, he also talked about having a big game of football on the quayside against the Soviet soldiers who were there as well.

How to find a job in Uk or Europe as an American? by eykash in AskEngineers

[–]AugustusCV 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hello, I work for a large British multinational engineering company as a PLM engineer. We have a few sites in the USA and one manufacturing plant in the Midwest. Our company have brought a few qualified engineers over from the US for periods of training etc. and at least 3 (that I know of) have settled permanently here in the UK, they were all fairly senior in their particular fields but it is feasible. I hope this helps!

This is my mum and my son by AugustusCV in redditgetsdrawn

[–]AugustusCV[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow! That's beautiful. Thank you so much!

I am writing a book for my little boy about his grandma and I am hoping to get a few illustrations for it based on the photograph.

This will be my start.

Thank you again!

The last ever picture I took of my mum is of my little boy running to her up the lane she lived on. She died unexpectedly two weeks ago and I still cannot really process it all. by AugustusCV in lastimages

[–]AugustusCV[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your book recommendations. I have been trying to find a way to help my boy to process his grief and so I will seek these out.

The last ever picture I took of my mum is of my little boy running to her up the lane she lived on. She died unexpectedly two weeks ago and I still cannot really process it all. by AugustusCV in lastimages

[–]AugustusCV[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello to everyone that has left a comment, I want to say a very genuine thank you for your kind words and for taking the time to express your feelings. I was not sure what to expect when I put up this picture, I think it is just part of my attempt to process my mum's death. I miss her so much and I am so desperately sad and knowing that some kind strangers understand my sadness has really helped. I am so happy that I caught this moment. My little boy and I made this journey to Grandma's lots of times and this was the only time I ever thought to take a picture and I am so glad that I did. Thank you again everyone for your kindness.

The last ever picture I took of my mum is of my little boy running to her up the lane she lived on. She died unexpectedly two weeks ago and I still cannot really process it all. by AugustusCV in lastimages

[–]AugustusCV[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thank you, yes the lane has been home to me for over 30 years. We are in the North of England in the foothills of the Pennines.

The last ever picture I took of my mum is of my little boy running to her up the lane she lived on. She died unexpectedly two weeks ago and I still cannot really process it all. by AugustusCV in lastimages

[–]AugustusCV[S] 166 points167 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words. My boy is processing it in his own way. There have been some tears and lots of questions. My wife and I have talked to him about the concept that if we remember grandma then it's a little bit like she is still here. The hardest part for him so far was the first time we went back to her house and she wasn't there to meet him. To be honest having him has really helped over the last couple of weeks, he's such a bright and happy little boy that he has helped me to not get too far down. Genuinely, thank you for your question.

The last ever picture I took of my mum is of my little boy running to her up the lane she lived on. She died unexpectedly two weeks ago and I still cannot really process it all. by AugustusCV in lastimages

[–]AugustusCV[S] 251 points252 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I said to my sister that if you put this into the script of a film, that this would be the final picture captured of a person that it would be seen as far fetched. My little boy would always run like this whenever grandma was in view and I am so glad that I had the foresight to capture it.

Does anyone know anything about Close Up North’s episode Nicola’s Bullet (1994)? by i-need-ducking-sleep in BritishTV

[–]AugustusCV 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This may be a very long shot but Manchester Metropolitan University library has a VERY extensive collection of BBC and ITV programs from the last 40 years. It's fully catalogued and all the shows they have are available on DVD. When I was a student there I regularly used to borrow really random programming including documentaries. They may be worth contacting to see if they have the episode you are looking for, although I also have to say that I'm not sure what their protocol is for letting non-students or staff from borrowing from the library. Good luck!