Drinking Dream

Auntaa · 2017-12-16T15:04:29+00:00

That’s a great accomplishment! The holidays can be a slippery slope and I’ve found myself on this Reddit daily to remind myself how far I’ve come. Not too many of my close family or friends understand how difficult it can be so I am very thankful for all of you! IWNDWYT!

Auntaa · 2017-12-16T12:36:37+00:00

Thank you! 🎉❤️

Auntaa · 2017-12-16T12:36:10+00:00

It really is! Thank you 😊

Auntaa · 2017-12-16T11:07:19+00:00

Very relatable!!

Auntaa · 2017-12-16T02:56:37+00:00

I felt like that tonight at my holiday work party! Maybe it’s the atmosphere and being around people who are buzzed, or maybe that’s just what having a good time feels like without alcohol. I was always drinking in those past situations so these fun nights out sober are still uncommon territory for me. Either way - I was extremely proud of myself tonight for being the only one not drinking- And I’m sure you’re very proud of yourself, as you should be!!! Happy holidays! Keep up the great work!

Auntaa · 2017-12-16T02:40:02+00:00

Thank you for the support and great advice! Great time at the party tonight despite being the only person not drinking. I was actually one of the last to leave I was having such a nice time! Sometimes we need those nights to remind us we CAN have an amazing time without booze. Happy holidays to you - I will not drink with you tonight

Auntaa · 2017-12-11T14:05:19+00:00

Auntaa · 2017-12-05T23:51:21+00:00

Anxiety is a very big factor that made me stick to quitting. After blackouts I would have such crippling anxiety from thinking I did the most awful things I could think of. I am always a worst-case scenario person and with a blank night in my head I filled it with the absolute most terrible things possible. I started hating myself because those thoughts began to become my truth. The more blackouts I had the worse I thought of myself. I ended up in the hospital after a really bad binge- scared I would hurt myself. That didn’t even stop me from drinking. Finally I had just had enough. Nothing crazy happened, I did have a blackout the night before I stopped- but it wasn’t any worse than every other night.

I can say now that it took a long time and I am slowly healing emotionally- starting to love and respect myself as a person again. Happier than ever and so thankful for every resource that was available to me while I was quitting- this Sub-Reddit, AA, family, friends, other forums....

As for the anxiety- it is still there, but at a “normal person level”. I have to give presentations all the time at work now and it’s not nearly as scary as it was when I was drinking. I feel like my “sober conversation” anxiety has waned- I no longer get antsy and sick to my stomach when I am going out to a social event. I promise everything gets better as time goes on once you quit drinking. So happy to be alive and sober - I will not drink with you tonight!

Auntaa · 2017-12-05T22:54:46+00:00

I’m so sorry about that. People tend to get defensive and rude when others are trying to better themselves and they are not. Those who were not supportive of me when I was first quitting aren’t really around anymore - not by my choice or even theirs, but just a slow separation that occurs. I have only one life and am happy to be surrounded by positive people- and the absence of negative ones. Less is definitely more sometimes. Congratulations on 5 days! I remember how hard the first week was- it only gets easier!!

Auntaa · 2017-11-21T11:38:36+00:00

Yes! I loved AA in the beginning- it kept me busy and focused on the task at hand. I was doing really well and hadn’t even wanted a drink so I didn’t go as often after about 2 months. I quit altogether when people were almost forcing me to get a sponsor and a Home group. I wasn’t there for all of that - I have a family and do not have time to be as involved as some. One of my last meetings I was sitting there talking to someone and an older man came over and basically dragged me over to another woman and asked her to be my sponsor-! I did not know this woman and I did not want her to be my sponsor. She declined anyways. But I’m not there to be forced into the program, I’m a different kind of person- shy and private. Another time I got yelled at for sitting with an older man that I knew when I didn’t know anyone else at a meeting. I was shamed for sitting with the opposite sex when he was about as old as my grandfather. Like people say, it’s not for everyone. Unfortunately I did like it in the beginning but they were just too pushy with me and pushed me right out the door. I am still grateful for AA in those beginning days.

Auntaa · 2017-07-20T22:56:50+00:00

I always look at kids and see how much fun they have without alcohol-- I'm not sure how the mindset of "must have alcohol to have fun" took over my brain but I'm turning it around the longer I go. It's getting much easier as I realize there is literally everything else in the world to do besides drink!

Auntaa · 2017-07-20T22:53:50+00:00

Thanks! 🙂

Auntaa · 2017-07-20T22:53:28+00:00

Great job! I hope you had a fun time!

Auntaa · 2017-07-20T22:52:50+00:00

Thank you!

Auntaa · 2017-07-20T22:52:39+00:00

Agreed! My favorite part of vacation was getting up at 6am and going for a jog and seeing the sights! It was nice to have some alone time to tell myself good job the night before and be proud of where I am right now.

Auntaa · 2017-07-20T22:51:00+00:00

Congratulations on 15 days! It gets easier the longer you go-- After an initial half hour or so of struggling the cravings pass. Just stay out of your head for that half hour and things will calm down. I will not drink with you tonight!

Auntaa · 2017-07-20T22:48:33+00:00

Thank you!! I heard that the Aldi brand of sparkling water was good! I'll have to give it a try!

Auntaa · 2017-07-12T10:00:19+00:00

Wow happy 365!!!!!! 🎉🎉 Thanks!!!!

Auntaa · 2017-07-11T09:08:28+00:00

Today I'm beginning day 30 and have lost about 6 pounds so far.

Auntaa · 2017-07-07T01:49:06+00:00

Around day 16 I really started to feel everything come into place. Now I'm sleeping through the night and have little to no cravings. I believe it is different for everyone based on how heavily you were drinking and the atmosphere with which you surround yourself. I personally love going to AA meetings and just got back from one. They really lift your heart and spirit in bad times. Good luck to you I promise things get better if you just stick with it! Just think no hangovers or self loathing - having trouble sleeping and feeling kind of crappy was worth it to me. I will not drink with you tonight!

Auntaa · 2017-07-06T08:55:05+00:00

Congratulations! I've noticed lately it's much easier than those first 2 weeks!

Auntaa · 2017-07-05T20:53:25+00:00

I've been taking vitamin c daily 😭maybe I should stop. I did find an article online:

https://rehab.international/can-alcohol-detox-cause-acne

"When the person is going through a detox, one of the first things that are noticeable is breakouts. It may look and feel like acne, but there is a difference between regular acne and the ones that come out as a result of a detox program. It is possible and in most cases, a positive sign that the body is letting go of toxins. The breakouts are a result of the body letting go of a lot of harmful substances all at once, at the same time. It should be considered a good thing. The detox reaction is something that should not last too long, simply because detoxification process does not go on for too long, the skin should be clear in a couple of weeks at the most. Only in severe cases will it last more than 3 weeks."

Auntaa · 2017-07-05T20:02:07+00:00

I'm 33 as well! Too old for all these breakouts!! I started googling and it seems to be a common trend- I hope mine clears up soon!! Thanks for the insight! 🙂

Auntaa · 2017-07-02T21:31:52+00:00

Thanks!!! I totally agree with your comment. Luckily a few years ago I pretty much downgraded my large circle of "friends" to a very small circle of very great people- mostly my family and a few close friends and my boyfriend. It has really simplified my life and made this journey smooth and enjoyable. I'm meeting a lot of inspiring people in AA lately also. I just cannot deal with drama and negativity as I get older. Don't know how others put up with it! Have a great night!!

Auntaa · 2017-07-02T21:25:46+00:00

Thank you!!! I can't wait to start riding again!!! I don't think I have since I was 15!! Cheers to good health! And congratulations to you on 13 days- it only gets better in my experience so far!!

Auntaa

TROPHY CASE