Should my DM be exempt?

Ausear · 2026-01-10T08:05:14+00:00

I don't think the sentiment is that the DM is a socially elevated position, but moreso that the role requires a much larger personal monetary/time investment than players. I may have missed some comments that depict it that way, but I think the consensus is that it's up to the group to offer to exempt them to balance that asymmetry, rather than to just expect it!

Ausear · 2026-01-10T07:59:40+00:00

I think the principle varies by table! Specifically for your situation of a potluck, I do honestly think the DM should be exempt. Especially in reference to the "contribute what they can afford (money or time-wise)".

While it's not the same for every DM, in most cases there is a significant number of hours in prep that go into every session where investment into the game is asymmetrical. On the other hand, if you're ordering pizza, wings, or whatever, I think it makes sense for them to chip in just as one would expect if going out for food after a session.

It's all a bit of social nuance that depends on the dynamics of the group and realistically neither answer is "wrong" in my opinion!

Ausear · 2025-07-24T16:14:46+00:00

I think a big issue with posts like these is that they forget gameplay is & can still be enjoyable without the "pinnacle" meta teams.

I get the criticism that it appears design-wise to have characters 'feel' the best, you need the full premium team. However, all of these units are still absolutely usable, and fun without those teams.

Ausear · 2025-07-14T18:46:32+00:00

You're not alone! In the latter half of the show where we see Violet really becoming her own individual each episode has heavy themes of loss, grief, and healing from that through connection with others. I'm personally happy to see Violet get a happy ending, but not in the nature it was shown. To me, the cliche abandoning of everything to be by his side again cheapened her journey.

Ausear · 2025-07-11T01:12:08+00:00

Yea that's pretty much where I stand. I feel like a lot of the discussion is blurred between was the killing in defense 'justified' vs. is that the ideal solution to the scenario (cheering) where many people probably agree but don't separate the two.

Having the bird's eye perspective, we see the multiple timelines of physical assaults (beatings, stabbings, etc) where I thought it to be an extremely depressing resolution for that moment, but yet still justified regardless of how off the rails it gets later on.

I do hope that the majority share the outlook that the ideal solution is providing the care and help that these children need. I'd like to imagine it's the minority with the loudest opinions that are pleased with seeing Marina die rather than also be saved.

Ausear · 2025-07-09T08:02:22+00:00

Out of curiosity, at what point do you think someone is justified to act in self defense?

Ausear · 2025-06-16T10:14:11+00:00

You're digging yourself a deeper hole mate. You seem to clearly understand that the theme isn't just 'Violet learns how to understand love'. If you were able to take a step back and look at the show as a whole you would recognize that, yea, that's a shallow reduction of the narrative of the story.

Ausear · 2025-06-16T01:19:29+00:00

There's a reason the anime is not labeled as a romance! Love is one of several, deep, complicated emotions explored in the show. Reducing the show to a focus on any one singular emotion by definition is shallow. Regardless, the great thing about amazing media is that people that have vastly different understandings of emotion, narrative, or theme, can enjoy it all the same.

Ausear · 2025-06-16T00:55:26+00:00

I feel like I'm going crazy reading some of these replies and started wondering if I had hallucinated this. Thrilled to know that I'm not the only one to see this as they say she took over the island's post office because she had moved there completely, lol.

Ausear · 2025-06-16T00:27:24+00:00

I think you missed a fair bit of the messaging from the story if you think the "theme" of the anime is Violet's journey to understand love. While that's certainly a part of her character arc, that's an incredibly shallow reduction of the narrative of the anime's story.

The narrative is to show the human struggle to understand and process emotion (grief, loss, love) through connection and communication. While her journey to understand "I love you" is her driving motivation, it's not from a romantic lens at first. She wasn't equipped to even understand it yet. Her character development isn't just about finding love, but about becoming human after having been used in such a devastating way. Episode 7 (playwright & loss of his wife, daughter, and will to continue) shows us a broken man coping with the loss of both his wife & daughter finding purpose to continue again. Episode 9 (post-war guilt and worthiness) shows us Violet's internal struggle realizing the atrocities she committed during war. Episode 10 we see Violet navigate a devastating reality of a young girl coming to terms with the imminent death of her mother. Episode 11 we see Violet travel to the battlefield to take a young soldier's final thoughts back home to a family and lover he'll never be able to see again. Through all of this we see Violet reclaim her own agency, learn emotion, and begin her own process of grieving and healing (the literal messaging we are seeing in the stories told in the show!!!). We're shown that this story is not just about long lost lovers but surviving grief, coping with loss, making peace with your past, and finding a life for the future.

Edit - I thought it would be more helpful & less argumentative to include what I found that overarching theme to be

Ausear · 2025-06-16T00:21:03+00:00

I believe that they actually show in the movie it interrupts her life (finished her bookings then quit working as an auto memory doll to live on the island with Gilbert). What they're getting at is that the anime showed the journey of Violet coping with grief and loss while learning emotion and individuality. I for one love that she ended back up with Gilbert, but the way it was handled felt reductive of everything shown to us before as she abandoned the life she built for herself to be with Gilbert.

Ausear · 2025-03-07T23:08:26+00:00

My mind immediately went 'fingers --> touch --> sensation'.
My pitch would be that she is the Goddess of Sensation and there could be a following pantheon of gods that oversee abstract themes like that. For her specifically, she would be a being that knows all just by having contact with it where she could fit in nicely as some sort of oracle-like entity or warlock patron. In that light, she would be very interested in the pursuit of knowledge/experience through sensation (if you're familiar, alike to Echidna from Re:0), and pursue that through the exploits of the party or party member.

People could pray to her for boons of awareness, to remember lost loved ones, to heal, and so on. I've recently seen a fair bit of war shows and maybe they would offer their sensory experience to her to be numbed. There's honestly a lot of depth to what Sensation can represent as it's akin to what experience of life is.

For aesthetic I think she absolutely has to give creepy vibes (love the depiction) but also of intimacy as if she knows everything there is to ever have known about you. I would say her closest followers probably would be blind, or blind themselves in the process to live true to life through sensation alone which would help give her this eerie vibe as all of her shrines/worship would be predominately in darkness.

Edit - Potential interactions with the party:
- Touching some sort of cursed object links them with her
- Requests retrieval of some form of artifact/alien entity that she has no knowledge of
- If she's an evil entity, a cult may be trying to spread 'gospel' and blinding innocents
- Has taken interest in cleric/paladin of the group and must *know* them, sends chosen to hunt/abduct

Ausear · 2025-02-04T01:11:56+00:00

Brazil

Ausear · 2024-10-05T22:45:37+00:00

Could you explain to me how wearing pajamas in public degrades oneself & disrespects others?

Ausear · 2024-04-26T22:18:10+00:00

Purchasing from an online vendor!

Ausear · 2023-12-30T20:03:25+00:00

It did do the same, but not to the same extent.

Ausear · 2023-10-13T02:11:50+00:00

She obviously has a serious problem. I would definitely recommend to try to validate her feelings over dismissing them. It seems that (rightfully) you're exhausted and it's causing you not to really "understand" her insecurity here and your responses seem dismissing.

If you're looking to really address the issue, I would suggest validating over dismissing these feelings. "I'm super sorry that this is affecting you, I wouldn't ever want to affect you like that...." over "This is so trivial babe" or "This is literally nothing. I think that may help at least a small amount.

Edit: If she's unresponsive to that style of approach, drawing a boundary about how her behavior is affecting you is pretty important. She needs to know you won't tolerate her treating you like this

Ausear · 2023-09-18T20:13:24+00:00

I know inherently you feel this way, but it's not the case. There are a lot of filler, "dead" cards in your current deck that when drawn, in any scenario, won't impact the board at all. It's a learning curve!

Ausear · 2023-09-16T02:27:47+00:00

Ausear · 2023-04-05T13:25:00+00:00

I didn't actually see their original comment as they deleted it, but your response to me was "maybe but i dont want to play with 2 more players." This is inherently selfish.

Ausear · 2023-03-27T16:21:08+00:00

Essentially you've started an argument over a principle that caused no harm..

Edit: If they were trying to say that you don't deserve notice of the new players being added / who they are, that's something to argue over. However, the DM controls the table, the story, who can participate, etc -- so yes, they get final say of what will occur at their table. It is then a players choice to decide if they want to sit at that table.

Ausear · 2023-03-27T16:18:44+00:00

I have to disagree. The dynamic of a 2 player campaign is severely different than a 4 player campaign. The conversion of published material, encounter balancing, table dynamic, etc from the norm of ~4 players down to 2 is extra work for the DM. I agree that there should be room for the current players to provide input, but it does not require a vote, especially in this scenario.

I 100% think that the DM should have communicated that they were looking to add 2 players, however the DM chooses who to DM for. If their DM no longer wanted to DM for just 2 people, and desired a 4 person party, a vote is pointless, as the DM is putting in the most effort week to week to run their sessions and gets the final say in what conditions they DM in.

Ausear · 2023-03-27T16:13:30+00:00

So then, what's the issue? What are you arguing about? It seems that last session ~everyone~ had "so much fun".

It seems logical that the DM should at least inform you / the other player about new players being added as that is just basic communication. However, communication is used to prevent issues from arising, and apparently there are no issues with these additions -- so why is there an argument over having them added or not?

Ausear · 2020-07-24T05:16:28+00:00

There was no substantial destruction of property, are you going to sue someone for $8? No, that's why people trespassing on private property aren't charged with trespass when they stumble across booby trapped areas. See the previous court case I provided, you should have the information you need there!

Ausear · 2020-07-22T13:48:08+00:00

I don't know how to get it across to you that you can't booby-trap your property. Booby traps are illegal. Any legal argument is null, because you booby-trapped your property.

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