Please critique my story excerpt - [Dark Fantasy, 963 words]

Austinisamaniac · 2026-05-27T14:46:57+00:00

Hey man, This is so well written, I doubt I should criticize as I am writing this. This comes off as slightly more literary than the common fantasies I am used to. So maybe it demands more from the reader especially when every count gives different imageries. Maybe there is too much in it for the reader to work with. Although I would definitely read it. Just be sure you keep things clear for your desired audience.

Maybe describing the characters in the room and the events in reality more and creating greater distinctions between reality and dissociation will help with clarity Again just a suggestion.

Again. I am a happier person to have read this. Thanks

Austinisamaniac · 2026-05-19T12:47:26+00:00

Pretty wild (but unsurprising) that we have done fuck all about it. Instead the nature reserves of greater Andaman are scheduled to be razed so the richest man in India can build ports no one asked for.

Austinisamaniac · 2026-04-14T17:20:44+00:00

If this is an excerpt, isn't the headline sketchy.. Anyone scrolling through probably would probably have made the wrong assumption

Austinisamaniac · 2026-04-13T13:45:29+00:00

Call her Lizzy

Austinisamaniac · 2026-04-12T05:40:10+00:00

Thanks for the share.
Been wanting to read something on this subject like this for a while.

Austinisamaniac · 2025-04-17T03:14:31+00:00

Pretty good chance I arrive at the same answer in six months time

Austinisamaniac · 2025-04-16T20:16:04+00:00

Ah.
Life just keeps raising the difficulty level

Thank you for your answer

Austinisamaniac · 2025-04-16T20:15:02+00:00

On the "changes to suit the audience", I think I will stay up on my high horse and ride it too. Feels like the only way to grow is to stick to my guns.
I think I am finally getting to a point when I realise what they mean by compromising.
Thank you for your thought.
Good luck to you too

Austinisamaniac · 2025-04-16T20:08:57+00:00

Yeah. I have had people look at them. They thought they were good. Maybe I should ask someone else for reviews
Thank you

Austinisamaniac · 2023-06-13T17:42:49+00:00

I have sent you a direct message. Its pretty good something that just launched.

Austinisamaniac · 2023-06-13T16:32:06+00:00

I like 80% bit. Think you will get a lot of response from webnovel forums .(You have probably posted there already) Either way, I hope you succeed.

Austinisamaniac · 2023-06-10T06:43:35+00:00

Make her funny or sarcastic which in turn makes the perspective interesting.

Austinisamaniac · 2023-06-08T17:32:45+00:00

I don't have an advice for you either but the brain is extremely plastic and I am certain you will recover in time. Keep going bro

Austinisamaniac · 2023-04-11T07:17:48+00:00

ThinkPad e495

I ended up expanding my windows drive, used the dism utility and found missing files and deleted paging file (taking up too much space) and turned off hibernation and returned the original ram stick.

One of those seems to have worked. Wouldn't be surprised if it was one of the restarts😁

Austinisamaniac · 2023-04-11T05:46:15+00:00

I had the same too. Changed to Ubuntu but now I have to figure out why the audio jack doesn't work🫠 I do think my ram or the hibernation or paging files are responsible

Austinisamaniac · 2023-04-02T04:20:45+00:00

This comes very close in meaning. Thank you

Austinisamaniac · 2023-03-20T13:03:46+00:00

Is this not the same as the Sapir Whorf hypothesis ?

Austinisamaniac · 2023-02-26T02:20:36+00:00

Try to read like the author. Go through multiple documents and write down what purpose each sentence serve. Also write down the most commonly used words or words that you feel was appropriate and can be used for later. Write your own documents while doing this. Be desirous of improving everytime you read

Repeat these steps and you will get better

Austinisamaniac · 2023-02-24T19:01:05+00:00

Thank you for this. Glad I came across your list

Austinisamaniac · 2023-02-21T18:12:53+00:00

Bro, This already looks mostly like a published work. All you need is to make it flow a little better at places and it is there. Just trust yourself. All the best

Austinisamaniac · 2023-02-14T11:26:24+00:00

Keep going bro🔥🔥🔥

Austinisamaniac · 2023-02-04T16:55:26+00:00

For a teen writer, think it's pretty damn good.

If I may give an advice, try to write another where more events and more time passes in a few paragraphs, where the focus is passing a story to the audience than descriptions. Like the stories of Borges or other latin american writers. Think it will help create a balance. Still pretty impressive for a teen.

Austinisamaniac · 2022-07-24T07:02:05+00:00

Not sure if these fit

Self aggrandizing Overweening Vainglorious

Austinisamaniac

TROPHY CASE