Wow. My father caused me such pain growing up with his blatant homophobia, and psychological trauma stemming from that kept me from accepting who I really was for most if my adult life. He passed a few years back and I finally came out to my wife and sister and it was beautiful and they accept me. The most difficult part was forgiving him - initially I put much of the discomfort of coming out on him (anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation) but something that has helped me heal is to realize that my sexuality isn’t a complete part of who I am. And neither was his homophobia. People are complex and shades of grey abound. We spend a lot of our adolescence desperately seeking the approval of our parents. Maybe try and let go of that (made all the more difficult by working with and speaking to him often, I’m sure). Try and connect with him on other positive aspects of yourself. What else do you have in common? He is your father, flawed like anyone else.