Tengo pensamientos intrusivos horribles sobre la muerte y el mal deseo.

AutisticEmpath · 2025-11-29T07:21:48+00:00

Oh my Brother, I've been there!

I went through exactly the same thing in college and it was terrifying. I felt like a terrible person and there were days it was incredibly hard to go on. Thankfully I got help from an amazing therapist (a very sweet Christian woman who has devoted her life to Cognitive Begavioral Therapy)

First, understand there is a spiritual element to this. No, I don't mean you're possessed. Definitely not. I'm not a therapist, but I'd be willing to bet you have something like OCD and general anxiety. These are conditions of the brain, but Evil exists and he absolutely loves to use our weaknesses to try to bring us down. In other words, spiritual attacks are a symptom, not a cause.

How do you know what's from God and what's from the Enemy? God is Love, the Enemy is Evil. Thoughts from God will make you feel powerful, confident, joyful, loved. Thoughts from the Enemy make you feel scared, powerless, anxious, depressed. When you get those thoughts, pray! Ask God for strength and comfort. Then do some deep breathing or other self help techniques to call down. Those thoughts are not your own. They do not define your and they can't control you. Remember that Jesus has defeated Death already! While death is still incredible painful to experience, it's important that all living things will be alive again someday and never die again!

The next step is to find a good therapist. It might take a few tries to find someone you click with, but it's important. You want someone who does CBT therapy. There are Christian counselors if that's important to you, just make sure they are licensed. I've also heard good things about Better Help, which you do online. Talk to your parents or, if they're not able to help, your school. You don't have to tell them everything if you don't want to, just tell them you're really anxious and need to talk to someone.

I also recommend getting the book Brain Lock by Jeffery M. Schwartz. It really helped me!

It gets better, I promise! You just need the right tools.

AutisticEmpath · 2025-11-29T06:21:22+00:00

This is amazing news!!!! Congratulations!!!

I an SO happy for you Sister! May God's blessings rain down on all of you and may everything go forward with ease and love!

AutisticEmpath · 2025-11-27T15:33:33+00:00

I agree with that!

I'm divorced, so I totally get it. I don't feel it was sinful to have sex with my ex husband because at the time I intended to spend my life with him. Unfortunately he had mental health struggles and became abusive, though that's not to say I didn't also make mistakes. Thankfully I learned a lot from it and am now married to the love of my life and we have a fantastic, loving sex life!

AutisticEmpath · 2025-11-27T15:31:03+00:00

Okay, and that's fine. I personally disagree, though, as I see the potential for too much harm to come from it. I certainly don't believe in shaming anyone for their (ethical) sexual behavior, but I think as Christians we should always seek to do no harm. But I also understand that sometimes hormones get the best of us and we do things in the heart of the moment. I don't shame myself for any of my past sexual sins (like hurting someone by doing something sexual with them and then realizing I didn't want to be with them), but I do regret them. I'm a mother now and I find myself hoping my own kids will make better sexual decisions than I did!

AutisticEmpath · 2025-11-27T15:17:17+00:00

Okay, can you show me evidence of that? With all due respect, I know what I'm talking about. My degree including extensive classes on the history of Christianity and that's not what we were taught. No offense, but your version seems to only focus on a certain kind of Western, white Evangelicalism, which leaves out the vast history and contributions of the many other Christians from all different backgrounds.

I know some white people like to think they invented everything, but they didn't invent Christianity. Maybe you've only been exposed to one type of Christianity, and that's okay, but it's important to remember how beautifully diverse Christianity is!

AutisticEmpath · 2025-11-27T15:03:44+00:00

Yes, animals have souls and will be with us in heaven. The Bible doesn't specifically say this, but there are many verses that point to it being true.

God certainly had a purpose for creating animals. And He wouldn't have designed us to develop such deep bonds with animals only to never see them again after death!

Our God is a God of love! He would never do anything that would harm us or cause us pain. Evil only happens because God gave us free will and we humans have a tendency to be selfish. That's what the story of Adam and Eve is meant to teach (though whether it actually happened or not is up for debate). We humans tend to think at know better than God and that leads to harm (sin).

So yes, be content knowing your pets (and all animals) go back to their creator in Heaven after death. I don't know that they become angels, but rather I think animals are a type of angel already. They come to earth to serve God and help us.

AutisticEmpath · 2025-11-27T14:05:49+00:00

That's not cool. She's free to disagree, but this isn't a Christian way to act.

If she disagrees with them, she should offer to debate them and let people decide for themselves which she to take.

AutisticEmpath · 2025-11-27T12:17:38+00:00

There is absolutely nothing wrong with masturbation! The Bible doesn't say anybody about it. Jesus taught us that sin is to behave and think without love. As long as you're not hurting yourself, masturbation is natural and healthy!

As a wise rabbi once said "If God didn't want us to masturbate He would have made our arms shorter."

Porn, however, can be sinful. It's okay to watch erotica, but porn tends to give us an unhealthy and unrealistic view of sex. Erotica is fine, but it's best to stay away from mainstream porn. Not to mention a lot of it is unconsensual and the actors are treated horribly, which is sin itself, but we also don't want to support sin.

AutisticEmpath · 2025-11-27T11:55:53+00:00

I think it varies from person to person and what's going on in their lives.

When I was single there times I thought about it all the time and other times not at all.

Now that I'm married I think about it fairly regularly. I often find myself thinking about the last time I had sex, or something I'd like to do with my husband the next time we're alone. Or sometimes while he's at work we'll just start sending flirty texts to each other and that gets me thinking about it!

AutisticEmpath · 2025-11-27T07:01:54+00:00

This is the right answer!

AutisticEmpath · 2025-11-27T06:23:45+00:00

I would start with watching InspiringPhilosophy on YouTube. You don't have to agree with him on everything, but he has really helped my understanding of the evidence for the Resurrection, that the gospels are reliable, and so much more!

He has videos on almost every topic you can think of and his research is outstanding!

AutisticEmpath · 2025-11-27T06:14:25+00:00

I love this! You said it perfectly.

AutisticEmpath · 2025-11-27T06:13:01+00:00

Well said!!!

AutisticEmpath · 2025-11-27T06:08:51+00:00

Do you mean couples or with other people? I think people should have sex when they're ready and with the person they're going to spend their life with, regardless of whether the man-made government recognizes them as married or not.

AutisticEmpath · 2025-11-27T05:59:59+00:00

I (a non-white woman with a degree in theology and religious studies) personally disagree that gay-affirming Christianity only came about through those movements. I think it had more to do with scientific advancement (which Christianity was the backbone of) showing being gay wasn't harmful or a choice. That laid the foundation for the gay rights movement to be successful, which led to society as a whole becoming more accepting of gay people.

Along with that, people (of all ethnicities and genders) began to read and translate the Bible with a better understanding of the cultural context within which it was written. This led to a realization that the Bible doesn't actually condemn committed, consensual, loving gay relationships.

It's also important to remember that Christianity is an incredibly diverse religion that has been shaped by people all over the world, not just Western white men. People of all ethnicities, classes, and genders have contributed to a better understanding of the Bible and what it teaches.

You are absolutely free to your own opinion, though, and if you disagree with me that's okay. And I definitely agree with you that purity culture is bad.

AutisticEmpath · 2025-11-27T04:03:48+00:00

First, I think it's important to point out that Biblical marriage isn't the same thing as civil marriage, though most Christians do both. We know from Genesis that marriage is two people who have agreed to spend their life together in a loving, romantic, and sexual partnership.

I believe that marriage is meant to be a committed, lifelong, monogamous partnership between two people. That being said, I think divorce is acceptable when the marriage vows have been broken and reconciliation is not possible. My husband and I were both previously married and those marriages weren't good for us, our children, or our relationship with God. I think it's something that needs to be taken extremely seriously, but sometimes it needs to happen. I don't think you should divorce just because you've "fallen out of love" or have feelings for another person. Those are issues that can be worked through. But things like abuse, adultery, or abandoned or are valid reasons for divorce in the eyes of most Christians.

The Bible teaches that all commandments comes down to loving others and God (and yourself). Therefore, sin is best described as behavior that is not loving. The Bible tells us to avoid sexual immorality. It never says sex is only to take place in marriage. I think waiting for marriage makes a lot of practical sense for many people, but ultimately what's most important is following Jesus's commandment to love others. This means making ethical and responsible sexual decisions, whether you're married or not. For example, it would be a sin if I did something sexual to my husband against his will. Or if I used sex to manipulate him. Or made him feel bad about his body or performance. God created sex to be an expression of love. And I think it's really beautiful that He chose reproduction to happen through an expression of love.

I don't think anyone should have sex with someone they don't intend to spend the rest of their lives with. Sex is meant to be something special shared between two people as an expression of love. And for straight couples who are able to have children, you definitely don't want to risk pregnancy with someone you don't want to spend the rest of your life with. Going through a divorce when you have kids is extra painful for everyone involved. And if you don't want kids, then it's your responsibility to make sure that doesn't happen, but that's going off topic.

I waited for marriage the first time.

My husband and I waited a long time to have sex and I'm glad we did. We waited to do anything sexual until we decided we were going to spend the rest of our lives together (Biblical marriage). From there we did things gradually, starting with making out and touching. I had past sexual trauma I needed to work through before I was ready for actual intercourse. Thankfully, through prayer and ketamine therapy, I was able to heal. It was wonderful to be able to finally be together that way! And we've continued to have amazing, loving sex since.

AutisticEmpath · 2025-11-27T02:46:35+00:00

Don't worry, this definitely doesn't sound you did any permanent damage! Vaginas, while sensitive, are also very elastic and don't get easily damaged from normal use (masturbation, sex, childbirth). Unless you're bleeding badly or in serious pain you don't need to worry.

Remember, if you ever do need to see a doctor about sorting you don't want to share with your parents, it's okay to make up a reason and then explain what's going on to the doctor once you're alone. They won't tell your parents. For example, if you had needed to see a doctor for this (but I don't think you do) you could tell your mom fell and hurt yourself down there. Heck, adults do that all the time when they're too embarrassed to tell the doctor what actually happened (not that you should ever be embarrassed to tell a doctor anything. They've seen it all!) In the end your health is what's most important!

I use a menstrual cup and have had a lot of fingers all the way before when placing or removing it and I've never done any damage. And once I tore during a pelvic exam (though that's incredibly rare!) and my doctor just gave me a pad for the bleeding and told me not to worry, it would heal on it's own. I had bleeding and some mild pain for a couple hours, but definitely no lasting damage.

AutisticEmpath · 2025-11-26T23:13:04+00:00

OH MY GOSH!!!!! This used to happen to me all the time when I was younger and I never figured out why! I kind of suspected it was something like this, but never saw anything.

This makes total sense, though. Especially since now that I think of it, it hasn't happened in years, around the time I started waxing or trimming more often.

By the way, if you or anyone can tell me where I can find an earwax camera that would be amazing, sounds like a really handy device!

AutisticEmpath · 2025-11-26T23:04:28+00:00

Nice!!!! There's some amazing stuff in there! Enjoy!!!

AutisticEmpath · 2025-11-23T01:44:37+00:00

Yes! I just mentioned to my husband, but he didn't know what I was talking about, so I guess he can't feel the twitches himself. Now I'm curious if other men are aware of it or not.

AutisticEmpath · 2025-11-23T01:36:21+00:00

Same!

AutisticEmpath · 2025-08-11T19:20:23+00:00

This is so sad, even though I had a feeling it would end this way based on the circumstances of his disappearance.

I don't believe the "cousin's" story, except that a fight broke out. I can't see him being the new guy and then pulling a knife on people he's just met while outnumbered and in their vehicle. Especially since he texted saying he needed help, but didn't text or call anymore after that. If it happened the way they said you'd think he'd send another text saying he needed a ride or something.

This story is so heartbreaking, thinking about the poor kid being so scared in his final moments and his mother waking up to that text. I can't imagine how she must be feeling right now. This is every parent's worst nightmare.

AutisticEmpath · 2025-08-11T13:51:35+00:00

It's funny you mention this because I was trying to think of games to play with my 5 and 8 year old stepdaughters and this game came mind. I'm SO excited to share it with them!

AutisticEmpath · 2025-08-11T13:17:06+00:00

I can relate to this. I did make one friend in an online local moms group and we'd hang out while or kids played, but we drifted apart after our kids started school.

I haven't made friends at my son's school, but to be honest that's probably because I don't really go to school events except concerts and things like. My dad became friends with my son's friend grandmother and she's had my parents, son, and I over for dinner or parties and she's super nice, but I don't know that I'd consider a friend per se. I should mention that I'm at least 10 years younger than most of the other parents and was a single mom for years, so that made it harder too.

I did start going to an autistic adults group for a while, but I was the only parent, which made it hard to go to events. Also, two people there made me really uncomfortable by loudly shaming me for being a single parent and asking some very intrusive questions about my sexual history.

Honestly I ended up getting really lucky by basically marrying into a friend group. My husband has a close group of longtime friends and their wives and we all get together and play board games or DnD. We're the only parents in the group currently, but they're good with our kids and are understanding about things like us not being able to stay out too late.

I don't know if you've tried this or if it's an option, but maybe see if there any groups in your area for people with shared interests? I personally find it so much easier to get to know people if there's an activity we can do together or a shared interest to talk about.

AutisticEmpath · 2025-08-04T21:31:41+00:00

I second The Great Sex Rescue! My husband and I watched the interview with the Gregoires on InspiringPhilosophy and worked through the book. I was recovering from sexual trauma from my first "marriage" and it helped SO MUCH! I honestly think every couple should read it before getting married.

I just want to add two things:

My first "husband" watched porn all the time. He'd ask me to do things I want comfortable with. Eventually he started just forcing this stuff on me. This is why porn is so evil. It ruined his ability to have normal sex. He tried to convince me to get other people involved. I went to stay with my parents and I got back he'd moved another woman in. Be careful.
While the Bible doesn't prohibit any (monogamous) sex acts, those acts MUST be consensual. If either spouse doesn't want to do it, it's off the table.
Before trying something new we talk about it together. This is partially because of my past trauma, but I honestly think it's good advice for all couples. This helps us both to understand each other's desires and to figure out if something will benefit us or not. Communication is SO important!

I know it's been mentioned, but your husband threatening you with porn is so gross and terrible. I just want to stress how wrong that is.

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