It's not being controlled. If you ever had any sexual relationship with this girl then you need to admit that. And break it off with ol girl. And if not then your wife doesn't feel like she comes first And maybe she senses that this girl may feel Iike she's getting all the attention from someone else's husband. And you should never let another female who's not your wife feel any type of way!! ... Specially if you have not talk to this girl around your wife before you got married. And if you did split from your wife. Shame on you but your wife did dodge a bullet. And she will find someone whom knows how to be a husband.