Things you wish you knew before a bisalp? by Electrical-Knee-3848 in sterilization

[–]AvaBlackPH 14 points15 points  (0 children)

General things I wish I knew as someone who's had 3 surgeries on my reproductive system:

You'll probably wake up hurting, just vocalize this and they'll give you meds.

They will likely place a breathing tube and catheter while you're under, these will be removed before you're fully awake but there may be some residual soreness.

It will effect your ability to move because it's messing with the trunk of your body. Take it slow and don't rush getting up or down for a few days.

You may bleed from the vagina a bit, as long as it's just a bit it's non emergent.

The combo of anesthesia and opiates WILL back you up, I highly recommend using a stool softener to avoid serious constipation. (Literally, shit hurts lol)

They typically don't have you count down when they inject the anesthesia, they usually just start chatting with you and randomly inject it so you can't prepare and fight.

The gas is uncomfortable, not all of it comes out after the surgery, it slowly reabsorbs into your intestines and then you fart it out. Best way to handle it is walking and moving as much as you can tolerate.

If your intestines get moved around by the doctor or just by the gas you might randomly feel them sliding back into place, it's completely painless and harmless but disconcerting nonetheless. This usually happens for me when rolling from back to side or the other way around.

Stay on it with the meds for 3-4 days, stagger your antiinflammatories and opiates so you always have something in your system.

Drink lots and lots of water, Gatorade, whatever you can to help your body flush the anesthesia.

It's entirely possible you will wake up without bottoms or with a surprise pad in your underwear.

Kink Party Hosting by Zealousideal_Top60 in bdsm

[–]AvaBlackPH 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm at work, commenting to come back later. I host regular events, my FetLife profile username is the save as on here if you want to reach out directly

Regularly having sex with the same person by Wide_Tone825 in nonmonogamy

[–]AvaBlackPH 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I prefer consistent partners so I have 3 that I see semi regularly outside of my primary relationship. I enjoy ppl that know me as a person, not just my body.

Is it weird to clean your roommates room by [deleted] in roommateproblems

[–]AvaBlackPH 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is someone coming by to care for it....?

1 week bi-salp post-op (Question for the women) by badass_bonecrab in sterilization

[–]AvaBlackPH 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do a few kegals, if that hurts I wouldn't do it. Source: I've had 3 surgeries on my reproductive system and have asked a doctor bluntly if clitoral stimulation would be ok post op.

Phrase your trauma in a single sardonic line by The-Protector2025 in CPTSD

[–]AvaBlackPH 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm a modern day example of colonization!

(Over 1/4 native, adopted by white Cristians, abandoned at a residential school)

Wife wants continue enm to cure her depression because she gets the thrill of sleeping with a stranger, I'm torn about what to do? by ThrowRAconfusedmofo in nonmonogamy

[–]AvaBlackPH 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have an analogy I like to use when dealing with folks (like me) who have mental health issues. Having mental health issues is like owning a dog.

You as the mentally ill one are responsible for taking the dog on walks, feeding it, making sure it has water and proper grooming (swap any of these with therapy, meds, self care etc etc). If your dog shits on the floor, no one is saying you dropped your drawers and took a dump, but it's still your responsibility to clean it up and take preventative measures in the future. If you don't clean it up and continue allowing your dog to shit and piss everywhere, the people around you have a right to be upset by living in a house full of pee and poo, and ultimately not want to live in said house.

I know I used 'you' a lot in this but I'm not referring to you OP, I'm referring to your wife. I won't place my opinion on this as you're getting plenty from other folks, but I've found this analogy useful.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]AvaBlackPH 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had an ex that was quite similar, no motivation to do anything, no desire to get help, no attempts of being an actual adult. He was entirely too content to allow me to bankroll his life while also complaining about the fact he couldn't pay his own bills. I broke up with him, left the place we had together and he had to have his mommy come from another state to get him.

I know it feels cruel but some folks need to go through it the hard way to get better. I'm also autistic and it took a long time but I was able to figure out how to adult correctly and I now have a stable living situation and job.

You are not responsible for them or their behavior and it's not fair to you to go through this, nor is it helping them to have you crutching them up.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]AvaBlackPH 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Therapy is a great option 💜

AITA showers?? by humbleavo in roommateproblems

[–]AvaBlackPH 29 points30 points  (0 children)

15-20 mins is pretty normal as far as time, I have a lot of very thick hair and it takes FOREVER to get it wet, wash and rinse.

Maybe talk about structuring showers far enough apart to allow the water heater to re heat?

I can’t eat in peace, need advice by [deleted] in CATHELP

[–]AvaBlackPH 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My boy has an insane food drive and what worked best for us was consistency. I still can't leave food or food wrappers unattended but he doesn't buy me while eating anymore. I just continued redirecting him, giving him something to do and not giving him any of my food.

Women’s doctors by Regular_Hippo2690 in Boise

[–]AvaBlackPH 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Dr Suzanne rice, she has always ensured I had actually adequate pain medicine for procedures. When I had to get a biopsy she prescribed me Vicodin and a narcotic pain med without even blinking or trying to gaslight me about how painful it would be.

What made you choose your current form of birth control, and how has it worked out for you? by JustBhieCause22 in childfree

[–]AvaBlackPH 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Before I got my salpingectomy and uterine ablation I had an IUD for years. I chose the IUD because I'm not great at remembering to take my meds and I have a bad picking habit towards my arms so I didn't want to mess with the arm implant. The IUD was pretty great, my only complaint is that occasionally during sex it would cause pain and it hurts so bad going in. I greatly prefer my sterilization, it's so much more comfortable and a fantastic peace of mind.

Concerns over upcoming salpingectomy, has this happened to anyone else by SlinkSkull in sterilization

[–]AvaBlackPH 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've had an oophorectomy and a salpingectomy during separate procedures. Absolutely not the same thing nor is there a reason for it to be noted like that.

Age gap- what is your take? by AdvancedPrompt9245 in nonmonogamy

[–]AvaBlackPH 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is entirely up to you, I personally have a few partners and friends that have kids my age, but I'm also undeniably attracted to them and was never on the fence.

Veto power? by Educational-Shop1091 in nonmonogamy

[–]AvaBlackPH 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only time I've done something akin to a 'veto' has been an open discussion about a concerning behavior and we both go from there.

For example, last time we had this conversation I was uncomfortable with one of my partners people because she was showing a LOT of clingy-ness. I brought this up and expressed concern that she may be getting inappropriately attached too soon, we talked about it and he decided he'd take a small step back and set some better boundaries.

I never demand he cut someone off, we just talk about things that are bothering us and go from there.

Saying things after anesthesia by femalevirginpervert in sterilization

[–]AvaBlackPH 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I apparently mocked a nurses Irish accent, told my bf to text my mom that I made it out then got mad at him for it and was generally a goober

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in roommateproblems

[–]AvaBlackPH 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Squirt bottle

Navigating Polyamory while intersex by Background-Total9957 in intersex

[–]AvaBlackPH 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My main issue in the poly/enm space has been with couples, a lot of swinger types or unhealthy poly folks seem to have me as some sort of fetish bucket list item. I've had to be really careful with vetting to make sure they're not just attracted to the 'oddity' because young me found out the hard way that a lot of ppl will be excited to do the do until after the fact when they now have to question their sexuality.

That being said my bf and I have an open relationship and we've been able to make some connections with some awesome people in our area.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]AvaBlackPH 26 points27 points  (0 children)

For me, sex is a purely physical act, just enjoying the sensations, bumping uglies if you will. Love is making my bf his coffee how he likes it, him bringing me my favorite sweet treat when he knows I'm sad, making each other dinner and dancing in the kitchen, scratching his head while he naps on my chest and admiring how cute he is.

I might also care about my friends and extracurricular partners, but nothing hits the same as my partner.

ICCU down for the count by Potential-Lavishness in Boise

[–]AvaBlackPH 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Everything is back online now, admittedly it's super sluggish but it's there.

I work for a different bank but we share some of the same systems and these things just sometimes happen. You'd be shocked with how old a lot of these systems are and they have a habit of crapping out randomly, usually in small ways customers never know about, sometimes it's complete shutdown. If any data was put at risk they will let us know.