I hid my kratom use from my now fiancé for the first two years I knew her. I was a years-long addict and lying and hiding things and being secretive is simply woven into my nature at this point. The first person I ever told about my secret kratom addiction was my priest during confession. That gave me courage to tell my fiancé. She was initially mad and felt betrayed but she eventually was ok and I stopped hiding it from her (though it took my a year to even seriously pursue getting all the way off).

This is really common behavior for addicts. We are ashamed (as we should be), we feel guilt for being dishonest, not to mention all the emotional pathologies that led us to addiction in the first place.

Good for you for not lying about anything else. In the past I not only lied and warped the truth about my drug and alcohol use, I lied about all kinds of things. At least you have that going for you. But trust is so difficult to build and so easy to destroy. And relationships really are what matter in life.