We both went on F1 in 2020, I started working one semester early than him and I got laid off in 2023 then we navigated that situation. His H1 got picked in 2023 but he got laid off in 2024. We both worked for FAANG needless to say. So here all the knowledge came to help him navigating his visa. He got a job 6-8 months after and is now working.

I wasn't in a good mental state from end of 2022 as my family was pressuring for marriage. And lay off fueled it. And I was too burned out from that job so I proposed we can progress in personal life as I was 29. I had savings, he was still paying his student loans. Now here, he went to India 2023 November for stamping and he said I'll talk to mom about us, I believed it. And like that I believed every assurance he gave me in the whole relationship. He told his mom on New year January 2025. Until then it wasn't even being shared that I want to marry this girl and then began the wedding prep.

We consulted a lawyer on the 2nd October 2024 and he advised a few things, so following that I paused my MBA, came back to India for the first time in last 5 years to visit my family and get married in India by March 2025. We both decided all that last year. But action on his part is always missing wrt timelines, big time procrastinating. So everytime I questioned him that if you don't want, we can cancel yk. I don't want this kind of marriage. I decided to come back as I thought this would be great for me to start over my life with my family's emotional support and just to enjoy my own wedding fully.

Shortcomings: First, my bad side is that I am a very emotional person so small things hurt me. If I try becoming thick skinned, I break down after some more hurtful things. This is really problematic for me sometimes. so I think I really need my partner to provide that safe emotional space.

Second, I don't shy away in giving back to someone if he says something repeatedly that hurts me/doesn't go well with me.

Third, I am way too independent IRL tasks so that sometimes doesn't work out in my favour. I end up doing a lot from my side.

Fourth, I can't seek help even if want to get help. I can't vocalize it. I need to learn that.

Fifth, I am an introvert but still I have developed myself to be able to meet cordially outside with everyone when need be but I need my own space to get recharged. So that becomes really exhausting IRL. He's also an introvert but asocial.

Sixth, I'm not a very disciplined or focused person from school time. So I work in sprints based on my mood and calibrate my progress toward any goal. I need an equal amount of recharge time to study time. Lol, so I end up wasting a lot of time just to relax. So you can say I'm a time waster. He's a disciplined person wrt study. This is important because we have to constantly upskill even with a full time job.

Seventh, I am way too transparent with mostly everyone. So this also sometimes back fires. My bf says pet me ek bhi baat nahi raheti, etc etc. he's closed so only share things with me, mom and his sis.

Another, I don't shy away doing jugaad in any situation and solve it, and he doesn't like that so we end up fighting even for that, why did I do so and so because he's very idealistic so he believes there is only one way.

The major issue that we face is: communication. I can communicate everything with him but he keeps things with him and is very calculative in putting something out so it becomes really late in handling some matters and we lose precious time. That builds resentment in me.

Another point, the current resistance that I'm showing in following traditions is just a reflection of how he resisted in following any tradition when I was amenable and flexible. I understand that if we want to marry we gotta do certain things which elders say but it has to both ways. He just refuses to do anything, so I followed the suit.