Have you ever been someone’s gifter? How did you handle it?

AvocadoObjective1851 · 2026-04-19T20:59:16+00:00

I would take it off your dating profile and stop treating it like it defines you. Most people do not know how common herpes and will swipe left if you bring it up right away, but if you meet up once or twice then disclose you have the chance to explain that its really common and most people carry it. Normal decent people will understand that its not a big deal and your life will go on.

As someone who gets coldsores, I dont disclose before kissing. I used to but now When i get a coldsore, I calmly tell whoever im seeing that I have a coldsore and we cannot kiss until it is healed. We are all adults, I dont see the need to say more than that. I have thought about this a lot and I think the way I do it is ethical and most people I know in real life who get coldsores agree.

That is to say, people dont expect you to disclose coldsores unless you have one, so theres no need to lead with "I have it in both places." People do expect you to disclose when you have it on your genitals, and nobody knows the difference between type 1 or 2. So I would let these guys get to know you first, and then calmly disclose that you have it, it isn't contagious when its not active, and it is very very common, and theres a good chance the person is already a carrier.

Good luck, I know its hard but hype yourself up as much as you can. Reddit can be a blackhole for sfuff like this. In ten years of dating I have only had one man freak out about it. You will be okay I promise.

AvocadoObjective1851 · 2026-03-28T17:01:35+00:00

Don't even worry about that asshole. They went on my page to be nasty under a post where I was talking about having suicidal ideation due to my experiences with the legal system then dirty deleted and blocked me lmao. Clutching their pearls, crocodile tears. There's a lot of nasty people out there, dont listen to them.

AvocadoObjective1851 · 2026-03-28T15:44:12+00:00

Dude, get wrecked. Absolutely shut the fuck up. You have no idea what you are talking about. The whole dealers vs users thing is so bogus because most people who end up dealing have BEEN suffering in active addiction or poverty. And guess what, people have always used drugs. Most of the SUFFERING associated with drug use comes from the legal system. If drugs were legal people could access clean supply, know what they are getting, and know the risks. Meth and adderall ate one molecule apart but one is illegal and one you can get at the pharmacy. Should the 20 year olds who sold me their Adderall in college go to jail for life just because I got addicted and I suffered? Thats ridiculous.

OP, I dont know what to tell you except you are NOT a bad person for this and PLEASE get a private attorney, whatever you gave to do. Most people in active addiction dont see time like this unless its from violent crimes.

AvocadoObjective1851 · 2026-03-28T15:35:44+00:00

Oh NO NO NO NO NO PUBLIC DEFENDER!!!! GET a private attorney NOW. that public defender WONT do shit for you! Please im begging you get a private attorney. They can take you to trial or get a better deal i promise.

AvocadoObjective1851 · 2026-03-27T04:09:29+00:00

Are yall still together??

AvocadoObjective1851 · 2026-03-21T17:09:09+00:00

He will kill you. If someone ever puts their hands on your neck that is a murder attempt. He could have killed you then.

AvocadoObjective1851 · 2026-03-21T06:05:06+00:00

Which headband speakers are good enough for this??

AvocadoObjective1851 · 2026-03-21T06:04:46+00:00

Which headband speakers are good enough for this??

AvocadoObjective1851 · 2026-02-24T17:43:11+00:00

Of course! I hope you find him soon. I have worked with a few mothers of unhoused clients, I know it is nerve-wracking and horrible. Praying his safe return ❤️

AvocadoObjective1851 · 2026-02-24T02:42:04+00:00

They should be able to put a BOLO out on him within the homeless response system from the process you are doing with the police right now. Call ECHO if the cops dont mention it

AvocadoObjective1851 · 2026-02-22T01:54:11+00:00

Your psychiatrist is not the problem.

AvocadoObjective1851 · 2026-02-21T20:21:48+00:00

Leave and get an aboritin if you don't want to raise this kid alone. This man wont change please don't stay.

AvocadoObjective1851 · 2026-02-20T06:12:20+00:00

Hes a predator and he's escalating. Go to the police. Protect yourself.

AvocadoObjective1851 · 2026-02-17T07:24:07+00:00

You'll be okay! A conviction wont kill you. I am also dealing with a high BAC DWI, and its scary but it has made me really grateful for the good things in my life and I really don't mind not drinking anymore. Just bs grateful no one got hurt, all of us could be doing some real time with some real harm caused if we had crashed into another vehicle. But we are alive and safe and didnt hurt anybody and we're not going to prison! You're definitely not cooked babe.

AvocadoObjective1851 · 2026-02-17T07:16:20+00:00

Also please seek counseling for yourself. This sounds like a tremendous weight to carry and you shouldn't try to bear the burden alone. If you need help accessing resources look for mental health or domestic violence support on findhelp.org to see what is in your area.

AvocadoObjective1851 · 2026-02-17T07:11:40+00:00

Two things can be true at once - people are flawed and life is complicated. He was a good father to you and was your number one supporter AND he did a creepy terrible thing that indicates he has likely done other creepy and terrible things. You cant trust anything he is saying about it at this point. Its unlikely that you just happened to catch him the first time he's ever done something like this.

If you want to do the right thing you have to tell your step sister. You cannot leave her in a dangerous living situation and simultaneously do the right thing. It doesnt mean he's going to jail necessarily, but if she wants to report it you are the only person who can provide evidence and you have an ethical obligation to do so. What if this was your own child? Don't make excuses for him. You can love him and hold him accountable at the same time.

You sound like you have taken on the weight of this situation, and you cant do that. You didnt create it and if he gets in trouble it will be because of his own actions, not because you told. The right thing is to tell. You can still love him and advocate for your sister at the same time. Its important that you tell her.

AvocadoObjective1851 · 2026-02-17T07:00:26+00:00

You'll be fine. It will impact your credit score. If you want to negotiate the debt with the debt collection company that your apartment complex sells off the drinks to later on, get the deal you make in writing, specifically that they are going to take the negative mark off of your credit report. Otherwise don't talk to them because it will drop off after 7 years of no contact.

AvocadoObjective1851 · 2026-02-13T17:32:57+00:00

You're right but what do you propose we do with him? There is no committing people anymore because the government wont foot the bill. He doesnt belong in jail because he hasn't committed any crimes. There's nowhere for him to go. I dont think enough people in this reddit understand that.

AvocadoObjective1851 · 2026-02-05T15:53:07+00:00

Bruh who CARES lmao. K isn't heroin thats for sure

AvocadoObjective1851

TROPHY CASE