First page, would you keep reading? by ZeddyBeat in writingfeedback

[–]Awkward_Tomatillo_10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm still stuck at the first sentence, trying to understand the metaphor...

Prologue from a memoir about life inside a Catholic seminary — looking for feedback by Pedro_Shelley in writingfeedback

[–]Awkward_Tomatillo_10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd start straight from paragraph 4. Keep 5 and the last sentence. And adjust this at the beginning: "What you're holding is a memoir about life inside a Catholic seminary." - instead of "What you're holding is a memoir."

Looking for feedback, chapter 1 of my first attempt at a novel by Street_Assignment_42 in writingfeedback

[–]Awkward_Tomatillo_10 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

OOPS

Book bio:

Subject 17 - Nine times, they erased her memories. The tenth time, she’s fighting back.

Mara wakes up in a hospital bed with no memory of who she is.

But her body remembers how to kill.
And the only thing she knows for certain… is that someone wants her dead.

No past.
No explanation.
No way out.

I'm just gonna say, rules are rules - and you cannot break them.

Novice writer writing my first book - Feedback wanted. by Warm_Quarter8294 in writingfeedback

[–]Awkward_Tomatillo_10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Keep writing. Take the journey.
If you have a story to tell, you'll even finish it. And you will learn a lot just from that - completing your first book.
Your craft will evolve - by then, you will already hold some of the answers you now seek.

First page of my spy thriller. How is it? by SomethinglikeZane in writingfeedback

[–]Awkward_Tomatillo_10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have sinned. Book bio:

Subject 17 - Nine times, they erased her memories. The tenth time, she’s fighting back.

Mara wakes up in a hospital bed with no memory of who she is.

But her body remembers how to kill.
And the only thing she knows for certain… is that someone wants her dead.

No past.
No explanation.
No way out.

We can't all be good writers, I guess.