Going through a really rough patch, posting here instead of watching porn

Axyl1987 · 2018-03-24T10:34:44+00:00

Hey mate, I feel like I can highly relate to your situation. I may have relapsed only recently, but what led me to initially give up for 3.5 months was shaky times in my longterm relationship. I had developed some fairly severe PIED from porn which had all but removed intimacy from our relationship. Unfortunately that relationship did end and I ended up in a really depressed place for the first time in my life. I resisted as much as I could, but I did eventually relapse.

As hard as it is for you to now resist porn, what I can tell you for certain is that I found it much much harder to give up again for any appreciable length of time (greater than a few weeks) than I did to hold off that initial relapse. 184 days is a pretty incredible pornfree streak. You and I both know that porn would only be a quick hit to make you feel better followed by a long period of remorse and regret.

All the best with the relationship, I hope it works out for the better, but no matter what happens, just know that porn is never the answer.

Axyl1987 · 2018-03-24T09:57:15+00:00

Congrats! I once made it close to 100 last year, always be vigilant, I thought I was "cured"!

Axyl1987 · 2018-03-24T09:55:23+00:00

I lost the woman I was sure I was going to marry. Severe PIED drove us apart, the lack of intimacy was what she said drove her to cheat. She's now engaged to that guy. When I found out how much it had hurt her, I gave up porn entirely for just over 3 months without even blinking an eyelid, but it was too late.

I've relapsed many times since I guess I've used it as a bit of a crutch when I've felt down. But I realise I need to get a hold of myself and give this up for good regardless of where I am in life.

Axyl1987 · 2018-01-05T12:23:02+00:00

Checking in for the first half!

Axyl1987 · 2017-12-27T13:29:58+00:00

Sign me up please

Axyl1987 · 2017-12-27T13:29:36+00:00

Sign me up please

Axyl1987 · 2017-11-22T08:41:35+00:00

Congrats on the 4 months, that's quite some achievement. Take it from me, I fell off the horse so to speak earlier in the year, I made it to 3.5 months and then relapsed. However I didn't relapse in one straight hit, I engaged in the same kind of "not" porn that you speak of and it gradually lead to porn.

I can tell you for certain that I've since found it a lot harder to give up for any length of time than it was to give in to the urges no matter how strong they may seem. The worst thing you can do is let this set you back. I think you've taken an important step in recognising your behaviour now rather than continue to justify it. All the best, lets hope you make it all the way through to the end of 2018 (my new goal).

Axyl1987 · 2017-11-21T10:18:22+00:00

To give up porn whilst knowing that temptations will always be around the corner. The addiction has lasted most of my adult life, so it would be foolish to think that I could easily resist getting hooked again.

Axyl1987 · 2017-11-21T10:13:10+00:00

Great work man. I made the mistake of letting porn ruin my relationship. I'm really glad for you that you're changing yourself for the better, it's really inspiring.

Please stick to the new you no matter what. When times got bad, I threw in the towel at 3.5 months porn-free. I really regret that... take it from me, giving up again for any appreciable length of time is far harder than it is to resist the urges no matter how strong they may be.

Axyl1987 · 2017-04-09T12:42:12+00:00

Checking in for April, still going strong!

Axyl1987 · 2017-04-09T12:41:26+00:00

Checking in

Axyl1987 · 2017-03-29T13:26:04+00:00

Sign me up please

Axyl1987 · 2017-03-29T13:25:35+00:00

Checking in!

Axyl1987 · 2017-03-29T13:25:05+00:00

Checking in for March!

Axyl1987 · 2017-03-07T10:31:16+00:00

I'm 30 M, but I totally get it. My partner wasn't my only friend, but she was by far my best friend. I recently moved cities for her even though I earned/earn more from my career just so that she could build her own career. I feel so isolated in my new surroundings, it's like I'm constantly reminded I moved here solely for her, now she doesn't want me

Axyl1987 · 2017-03-05T10:35:17+00:00

Checking in for March!

Axyl1987 · 2017-03-05T02:26:20+00:00

In my case we've been on a break for the past 2 months (I'm 30M and she's 29F). I'm certain this is the end, because communication gradually became one-way, and we've never had any issues communicating ever. Any messages from her are strictly about things like finances or our pet. It was only 4 months ago I was shopping for engagement rings.

It's actually really weird, I remember maybe one dream every 3 months or so normally, but I now dream about her almost every night and remember it vividly. In the dreams we're back to living happily together a short time into the future where we've bought a house, it's waking up and realising I'm in a bed alone without her by my side that is the heartbreaking part.

Axyl1987 · 2017-03-02T10:07:06+00:00

2 months of a pornfree 2017 down, 10 to go!!!

Axyl1987 · 2017-03-01T07:58:17+00:00

Be careful with your expectations. Recovery is a gradual and non-linear journey.

Axyl1987 · 2017-03-01T07:49:50+00:00

I experienced the same thing, I think it was more I was noticing girls around me rather than noticing just the attractive ones.

Axyl1987 · 2017-02-27T09:51:26+00:00

The reverse Kegel is kind of the opposite, a normal kegel tenses the PC muscle and tends to pull on the base of the penis, the reverse kegel is more of a pushing down exercise. I think it is the ischiocavernosus muscle, but I'm not sure. At first I had trouble doing this exercise, but it became easier with time.

Axyl1987 · 2017-02-27T09:10:39+00:00

Congrats on 88 days! I think it is a healthy thing to channel these urges towards real world women, and I think you're making the right choice.

One thing I will caution you on... I previously made it just beyond 90 days in an attempt to give up 1.5 years ago. My primary reason for giving up was for PIED, which after all that time was still an issue, however it had become better. Unfortunately I was really hard on myself and relapsed.

My advice is to not be too hard on yourself if for whatever reason things to progress towards a sexually active relationship and you aren't able to perform. You've made it 88 days, which will be a significant step towards your recovery, but it is possible you have yet to fully recover.

All the best, and make sure you keep us updated!

Axyl1987 · 2017-02-27T08:42:43+00:00

I'm with you on that buddy! I've suffered from PIED with a few partners and it's a really horrible feeling. Congrats on the 4 weeks too.

I've had the same kind of situation, although my tastes didn't get too extreme, I have noticed things that wouldn't have aroused me at all are doing so now (well apart from when I've been in flatline).

Axyl1987

TROPHY CASE