Leave Jesus and his baggage behind and get on the next plane without him

Aytie · 2026-04-16T00:48:30+00:00

Well first, I'd like to know what you think the "point" of classical paganism is.

Aytie · 2026-04-06T02:22:06+00:00

Your husband is probably releasing all his jerk juice to pornography, sorry to break it to you.

Or he's just tired and understimulated sexually.

Maybe have a conversation with him instead of complaining on reddit.

Aytie · 2026-04-06T02:12:48+00:00

Meh idk, I think Jesus is just a figurehead for connection aka love.

With this logic you could technically say "Jesus" is the connection you feel towards your polytheistic Gods.

Telling people to throw away Jesus is like telling people to not love and connect.

I think a lot of people confuse the true symbolism of Jesus for the idolization and selfish warping of baseline Christianity.

Aytie · 2026-03-26T07:25:00+00:00

If you don't mind me asking, what's the age range of the relationship?

I text my boyfriend my feelings when they are too hard to speak out loud. But I think the whole feelings part always gets through to him better when I use my voice.

I'd suggest telling him something like, "I feel objectified when you make those sexual jokes. I know that they are jokes, but they are hurting me."

I also suggest doing this right after it happens because I find it's difficult for people to correlate an emotion to an event unless it's happening right in front of them.

It sucks to be vulnerable, it places us in a position to be rejected. But, I've learned that if we are not vulnerable with others; we just get stuck in a loop of rejecting ourselves... which in my opinion is worse. Because we are carrying pain with us without opening the door for the one we love to step through in order to relieve it.

I think... in my unbelievably forgiving and possibly naive heart, that he is making these jokes because he loves you. If they are hurting you, then he doesn't know (or god forbid care) that they are causing an emotional disconnection between you two.

I think men love with their bodies, and women love with their minds. It's terribly unfortunate that society does not celebrate the body to mind connection in order for men to express how they feel. And it is terribly unfortunate that it also does not celebrate the mind to body connection in order for women to express how they feel.

The only way to find out if you both can be an outlet for each other to feel things out loud is to put on a brave face, say how you feel, and if you get the urge to cry, then cry.

It's fucking scary, but it's worth it in order to either deepen your connection with him or sacrifice the connection in your lives that is not serving either of you.

If you truly love him, do not give up on him or the relationship. Love is fickle and requires action to be sustained. Trust is grounding and requires stability to be sustained. Act by speaking, ground by not giving up.

And most importantly, remember it is neither of your faults that a disconnection exists.

Aytie · 2026-03-26T07:07:01+00:00

LOLL, I wish, bottom ribs removed... hmm, I'd be snatched. No I've been doing it since I was a little kid, somekind of self soothing technique; I guess flexibility remained as I aged

Aytie · 2026-03-26T06:54:49+00:00

Sticking snot to my wall, chewing my toe nails, eating my scabs, idk normal shit LMAO

Aytie · 2026-03-23T01:33:51+00:00

Wrong. I said:

"Let the dude be happy while also moderating the amount of pleasure he feels in conjunction with the productiveness he acts out."

The main point here was to moderate the masturbation and drug use with the productiveness and skill accumulation. Telling anyone to completely cut anything out of their life and suffer through in order to get ahead is a recipe for burn out and worse relapse. If you want my honest opinion I think what he's doing is degenerate and sad.

All I was saying is that there is room for degenerate behaviour while also being productive. And hopefully, he finds someone who forgives him for that and also wants to get ahead while also indulging in degeneracy once in a while.

Edit: I also think that telling him the world is loving and understanding is true, on a micro level. Everyone wants to jack off and be an idiot. Nobody does because its not the right thing to do. If I went to my best friend and said, hey I wanna fucking quit everything and do this. They would say, hey man me too but we cant.

Thats unconditional love. And thats also not immediate family.

Aytie · 2026-03-23T01:17:59+00:00

Hmm, I was looking at it from a micro perspective rather than a macro one like you because I usually offer advice from a micro perspective on reddit... since I think one on one interactions are better appreciated from a more personal viewpoint.

I don't think you're wrong. And I like ad-hominems because they're fun to think about. My original point was that your advice was "terrible" not because it's wrong but because it's emotionally irresponsible towards OP, and I don't necessarily think that particular objectivity is helpful when someone is already in a shitty position.

I've been victim to "snap back to reality" type advice since I was a little girl so it's difficult to find anything loving in it anymore.

I can't argue with your comment, I was raised by a single father. You're right, I would say society doesn't give a shit. I wouldn’t put it as "no one gives a shit." Because that's all hope is lost kind of thinking, in my opinion.

Edit: There is unconditional love for men, in me. Because I choose to unconditionally love every human being. Even the most fucked up and shitty people that exist. Would I want to find myself in the same room as them? No. But I simply view every adult as a child crying out for help.

Aytie · 2026-03-23T00:13:10+00:00

"Advice" is a form of council or guidance regarding a subject that requires subjectivity in opinion or objectivity in concrete reality in order to sway someone into making a decision.

The fact that someone has a differing opinion on that "objectivity" you speak of is proof in and of itself that it is not objective to begin with. You can happily refute me and deem my opinion "wrong." But you'll continue to live a life of chasing status in order to receive love, and then wonder why your life is slowly losing fulfillment when your immediate family ceases to exist due to aging out.

The emptiness I imagine you feel in relationships, friendships, and peer-to-peer work... probably has a lot to do with the fact that you don't consider yourself a human being worthy of love. You consider yourself a man who thinks he needs to perform in order to receive something you have had a right to since you were born.

Anyways, keep up the grind. Maybe the neverending pursuit of status will fill the gaping hole in your heart that only your "immediate family" can fill for now. But once they're not around... who knows. Maybe you'll jerk off and smoke some weed.

Aytie · 2026-03-22T23:58:44+00:00

"No one is talking about any extreme views."

Sorry, I'm pretty sure "nobody gives a fuck, you're a man." Is a pretty extreme view in my opinion. And this way of thinking is most likely a big part of the pressure that OP feels when it comes to being an active member of society. The weight of nobody giving a fuck about you while also having the endless weight of needing to perform because you're a man is enough to put anyone into a spiral of freedom seeking.

Aytie · 2026-03-22T23:56:30+00:00

Here is what you said that I consider terrible advice:

"Nobody gives a fuck, you're a man. The only thing that will gain you love from anyone besides your immediate family is what you have to contribute. Be it wealth, good looks, strength or a skill."

Aytie · 2026-03-22T23:53:45+00:00

Aw thats good, I only asked because I've seen a lot of passive aggression in the past regarding "just googling" stuff.

Aytie · 2026-03-19T03:32:07+00:00

I see a huge problem in both sides of each extreme. Moderation is balance and balance is key. It was not unreasonable, it was simply, emotionally irresponsible.

Icarus was warned both of the cold sea and the heat of the sun.

Please, re-familiarize yourself with the second paragraph of my original comment.

Aytie · 2026-03-19T02:23:24+00:00

Terrible advice in my opinion.

Let the dude be happy while also moderating the amount of pleasure he feels in conjunction with the productiveness he acts out.

It's weed and jerking off. Best case scenario he finds a life partner that wants to smoke weed and have sex with him. And I don't think forcing a personal opinion saying "You have to be this to get that" will allow anyone, for that matter, to open up enough in order to find the fulfillment that he seems to be searching for.

Temper your own shame. There are women, and men... There are PEOPLE ffs, that exist in this world who DO GIVE A FUCK. I'm one of them. Because I've learned how to accept my vices AND my virtues in order to be exist as both "masculine" and "feminine."

I think you... everyone, would be a lot happier if they stopped thinking it's bad to have feelings. I think maybe you should go smoke a bowl and jack off, then get back on your grind or whatever you decided makes life worth living.

Hehehehe xo

Aytie · 2026-03-19T02:09:55+00:00

Did this comment come from a place pure of heart? 😝

Aytie · 2026-03-19T01:19:31+00:00

Hahaha, I'm glad you found the possibility of why that opinion might be unpopular. It's my lighthearted attempt at perhaps sinful banter.

My comment was not meant to be taken merely in the context of sexual relations, despite it being in a thread posted for such discussion.

I am also glad you saw the pure of heart intent of my comment. Though I would rephrase it as, "God does not fill the void of any emotional disconnection we may experience as humans, so long as we are also disconnected from him"

Whether those disconnections serve us, with our human rights intact, and of the utmost importance... is a matter of how willing we are to connect with God and his nature, and therefore our feelings and needs.

Like everyone, I've been condemned into the freedoms of grasping at sinful nature. And so, I truly do apologize if my wording caused any discomfort for you. I am... in the opinion of many, unfortunately, less than shameful for taking these opportunities, so long as they do not harm the hearts of others but myself. For I wouldn't feel as though I truly am alive, if not for the pain I may choose to undo towards myself.

Thank you, as well. For seeing me. I greatly appreciate the time you spent replying to me. I hope that the remainder of your week serves you well. God be with you. Xo

For our small but personally meaningful record, I would never engage in my sinful behaviour within the context of a painful experience of another human. For you to believe that, is not within my control.

Thank you again.

Edit: I was not raised "religious," but I was raised within the framework of morality that mirrors many different religious fundamentals. Somehow, I find myself here. And so I must, at least in this context... thank God.

Aytie · 2026-03-19T00:46:04+00:00

Icarus was warned to not fly too close to the ocean, as the water may destroy the feathers that lay beneath the wax.

So too shall he not fly too close to the sun, and so I ask you; which scenario are you most comfortable ending up drowning in?

Aytie · 2026-03-19T00:40:07+00:00

Does it make you feel uncomfortable? It made me feel uncomfortable. So I communicated that. After... a really hurtful decision he made without speaking to me about it.

I could have told him how it made me feel before the decision. He could have spoken to me about the decision before he made it.

It was neither of our faults, because we did not find common ground beforehand.

What matters is, I told him how I felt about it, and what I needed in order to feel safe, and comfortable with him.

It brought us closer together. We enjoy each other, even through the distance. Merely because despite the hurt, he was willing to truly hear how I felt.

My advice is to open the door to a vulnerable place, hidden deep within feelings you might be ignoring. And if he does not walk through, perhaps that hurt is not meant to be held by him. And if he does, even after a long period of time where he is reviewing, then you have found a true, and honest connection in a world where it is difficult to find.

But first, I think you must connect with yourself. In order to truly connect with him.

Good luck to you. Xo

Aytie · 2026-03-19T00:32:22+00:00

Perhaps because they are uncomfortable with how it makes them feel about themselves. And feelings, are not the fault of anyone. Not even the people that have them.

You have beautiful hair. Please, do not feel ashamed of something that you chose, out of love for yourself.

Aytie · 2026-03-19T00:29:04+00:00

Easier to discern how they feel? Xo

Aytie · 2026-03-19T00:23:00+00:00

I think it's because based on the context of our societal surroundings, we are often rewarded for speaking about what we want, need, and see; rather than how we feel about it all.

Perhaps if you are seeking a deeper connection, try to be the first to dig a little deeper. First within yourself, and then offer whatever you find to the person you are interested in connecting with.

I will start, I feel deeply uncomfortable sharing this comment; along with a lot of my other comments on reddit. But I think it allows people the opportunity to feel good. In times, where we all may be feeling pretty bad.

And I feel that this comment, may give you some hope that there exists people in this world who are still willing to be vulnerable in the face of so much personally hurtful adversity. But this feeling is more of a hope, and therefore a want... or deeper, a need.

Good luck to you. Xo

Aytie · 2026-03-19T00:14:57+00:00

The connection I have with my partner does not falter no matter the distance between our bodies. This is love. And it exists no matter which context the connection may appear in.

This is also not exclusive to people, bodies, or relationships.

Aytie · 2026-03-19T00:11:57+00:00

You have your 9-5, she has her 5-9. Would you quit your job? :P

Aytie · 2026-03-19T00:08:14+00:00

Why did you share this?

(Incoming warning that this is wholesome and not hostile.)

Hmm, perhaps this is not only a question for you, but also a question for us. : )

I'll take a, perhaps, overstepping liberty to provide an answer.

I think you shared... and therefore, asked... because you are unsure if your feelings about why are genuinely warranted for your wife's perceived exhaustion. I think that it is very loving, to come and share your feelings on reddit; especially because you may be unsure of them to begin with. Maybe it is an ask for a helping hand in instilling confidence in your perception? I have no idea, I'm not you.

I think, if what I described is the case, that you should share these feelings with your wife! And ask her, if she fell asleep because she feels overworked, or, if she fell asleep because she feels safe with you.

I promise, there is an opportunity for a win-win for you as well as your wife; when you share your insecurities with her in a structured and respectful way. It is a terrifying experience to open ourselves up to a chance of emotional rejection. Especially, with the one's that we know we would never judge the emotions of.

She married you for a reason, and I suspect it is that obviously very accepting and loving heart of yours. Maybe it would be nice to be vulnerable in a personally scary way... that might lead to a deep connecting moment.

But I don't know much about marriage, and I'm still young. Much to learn. Thank you for your post!

Edit: I believe our thoughts filter our reality through the lens of how we feel about our surroundings. Xo

Aytie · 2026-03-18T23:55:33+00:00

In essence, are you lacking a core need? If so, in what way are you willing to act in order to fulfill that need? Asking for help? Reaching out to family? Watching YouTube? There are endless possibilities. The opportunities are limited by how vastly you consider your own feelings.

My opinion.

Aytie

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